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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
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    2

    Default Can an Older Sibling Get Custody of a Younger Child

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas

    All my life I was given all my mother's responsibilities. At two, I was learning how to change diapers and by three I knew how to make ramen noodles and other such inexpensive foods to feed my brother and I. My mom turns it around and says that I just had the motherly instinct. She had me at 16 and I grew up thinking my sole purpose was to take care of the kids she had after me. My family admits to feeling sorry for me, that I had to grow up so fast while my mother spent her nights in clubs and at parties acquiring one husband after another.

    Finally, three years ago, she had my youngest sister and got her tubes tied. I was living with my biological father at the time (another unstable situation that she had put me and my siblings in), until CPS was involved and we started seeing my mom again. Brayelyn, my sister was 6 months old at the time. My aunt warned me to keep my distance or else I would end up being her primary caregiver like I had with my last three siblings (there are 5 of us total). I honestly couldn't help myself. Barely 14, I fell in love with her and knew from the second I saw her that she was going to be mine. The treatment the other kids and I had fared throughout our lives was not going to be put on her.

    I have taken complete care of her since then (aside from most financial needs). I am now 17 (18 in November), engaged, graduating high school a year early, and starting my own business. My mother goes out less and instead prefers to sleep. The only conversation she ever makes with any of us is either a 'pity me' story about how tired she is or her latest breakup with her current husband. If it's not about that, it's her yelling at us because we never do anything right.

    I've long since accepted the fact that my mother will never be proud of me. I am just someone who kept her from finishing/ going back to school, led to more children, and got her into her first marriage. The beginning of my life is hazy but I hear too many stories of how she would run away with boyfriends to do drugs, abandon us, and at one point she even moved us to a crack house until my aunt came and got us. Anytime a family member visited us we would be hungry, still in our cribs, and in desperate need of a diaper change. This did not change when Brayelyn was born.

    Mom smoked through all of her pregancies excluding mine, completely ignoring the fact that we are all prone to the genetic disability that runs in her family. (Muscular Dystrophy). Their typical day would start with mom taking Brayelyn, full diaper and all, putting her in her high chair in front of the tv, and filling her tray with the nearest snack. Usually, I would take Brayelyn to do other things of fear she'd choke alone and to just let her see things other than the tv screen. Her biological dad wants nothing to do with her, isn't on her birth certificate, and has never seen her. Instead, she calls my mom's current husband her dad. She witnesses almost all of their arguments (during which my mother does not hesitate to throw in his face his drug problem, various curse words, and arguments about sex) that typically end in him being kicked out and cops are called.

    This leads me to my point: We life in a very unstable home and after I get married, my fiance and I want custody of her. (I will be 19 then and Brayelyn will be about 5.)

    I need to know where I stand on all of this.

    Advantages:
    -My whole family (excluding my mom), including her husband, know of my plans and plan to vouch for me.
    -I have receipts and proof of some of the things my fiance and I have bought for her.
    -We take TONS of pictures anytime we do something together. (We try to take her out about three times a week and something on the weekends.)
    -I have kept a journal of all incidents, in detail, and anything else that can help my case since September 2015.
    -A doctor has told my mother that she has a hormonal imbalance that causes her to treat people this way and act like this but she refuses to accept it and take medication.
    -We are barely making ends meet because my parents are very good at spending money in the wrong places.

    Disadvantages:
    -I make minimum wage at my current job (but am working to get a new one).
    -It's her mom, so I know how hard it is to terminate her rights.
    _I don't know if we have to contact her biological dad and take him to court too.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Can an Older Sibling Get Custody of a Younger Child

    If your parents agree to give you custody of your younger sister, you can act in accord with that agreement.

    If you believe your parents are unfit and your younger sister is being abused or neglected, you can involve protective services.

    Would a court, looking at your self-described situation, find you to be the most suitable custodian for the child? Even if we assume that a court would find your parents to be unfit, the court would be inclined to look at other options including the child's father, other adult relatives who are older and more stable, and foster care. With a removal, there is question as to whether you would be able to pass a home study as a prerequisite to the placement of a child -- as it stands, you have very low income and it sounds like you have no actual home other than your mother's.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Can an Older Sibling Get Custody of a Younger Child

    Why do you think mom's rights need to be terminated for you to get custody?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Can an Older Sibling Get Custody of a Younger Child

    That's what someone told me

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can an Older Sibling Get Custody of a Younger Child

    Quote Quoting k11r
    View Post
    That's what someone told me
    Sorry, I do not see you getting custody unless both parents agree - and even then I can see some problems.

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