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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
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    4

    Default How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: new York. Onondaga County to be precise.

    He and I were living together last summer and had a terrible argument where that ended in police showing up to help him get his things out because I had had enough. He has since sought therapy for his depression and is having great success.

    To cut to the chase....he was issued a disorderly conduct appearance ticket after an argument with one of the cops. He has paid his fine and done community service.

    The entire incident, while pretty awful, never escalated to more than anything verbal except for him breaking a box in the parking lot.

    Under pressure from the responding officer and my overprotective old school father, I agreed to file an OOP. Even though I refused more than once initially.

    When we got to family court, I wasn't ready to speak with him. He agreed to whatever I wished, but stated he did want to reconcile. Ultimately we agreed to skip a hearing and let the TOP stand. Since then, we have had no contact. Until recently.

    My concern here is in regards to of someone finds out and calls the police. This is a civil/family court order. Not a criminal order.

    Just not sure how to proceed. Just want to get my family back together.

    I would like to contact him. Our relationship was strictly platonic for almost 10 years before we took the next step. I've been in contact with him very briefly and also spoken to some of his family. I have no reason to keep the order.

    If I'm reading the paperwork right...the final page says that the TOP remains in effect for the remainder of the 1 year. Not sure if this makes a difference and I apologize if any of this is confusing.

    Thanks in advance for any thoughts or advice.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    98,846

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    You may file a motion to modify the order of protection. Forms (10, 10a) found here (a non-official New York CRR site) may be helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    My concern here is in regards to of someone finds out and calls the police. This is a civil/family court order. Not a criminal order.
    want to know how not to impress a family court judge?

    Tell him the order he issued is not as meaningful as a criminal court judges order.

    I suspect he won't smile a lot after that.



    The order from a family court judge is no less enforceable than any other judges order. If ex violates the family judges order, your ex might find out what it is like to be treated like a criminal since that is what can happen. I would suggest not violating the order.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    Well. Ok then. Nowhere was I questioning the court's seriousness or the judges decision. I was giving as many details as possible, and clarifying that it was one and not the other. No need to get gruff. I'm simply asking for help.

    As far as suggesting that I don't violate the order...the order isn't against me. I filed it against him and I personally don't plan on taking action, as it was I who initiated contact.

    And the quoted text was still not advised upon. Thanks.

    Mrknowitall. Thank you. I will look at those.

    I plan to take care of this asap, as I don't need someone like "jk" trying to enforce an order that I long longer desire (and never really did...)

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    Gosh, did jk get a promotion without tell me?! That's just not cricket!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    Adg112358;934982]Well. Ok then. Nowhere was I questioning the court's seriousness or the judges decision. I was giving as many details as possible, and clarifying that it was one and not the other. No need to get gruff. I'm simply asking for help.
    actaully it was meant to be somewhat humorous. Your statement seemed to suggest the order from a family court was somehow inferior or less serious than one issued from a criminal court. My apologies if it didn't come across well. My apologies for misinterpreting your statement.


    As far as suggesting that I don't violate the order...the order isn't against me. I filed it against him and I personally don't plan on taking action, as it was I who initiated contact.
    that usually doesn't matter. Most times it doesn't matter who initiates contact. While it was initiated by you, a court could overlook contact initiated by you, (in fact that is one reason many won't be enforced, If the person that sought the order ignores it, well, obviously they do not feel it is needed so some courts will refuse to enforce it later) regardless; a court can enforce it any time he violates it, even if it is not you that makes the complaint. A neighbor calling in a violation can result in charges.



    And the quoted text was still not advised upon. Thanks.
    see above



    I plan to take care of this asap, as I don't need someone like "jk" trying to enforce an order that I long longer desire (and never really did...)
    You're probably right on that. I figure if a person wants the order and it is issued, your darn tootin I would enforce it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    Sorry for not catching your humour. Internet needs a sarcasm/humour button. Lol. I see where you could've misunderstood what i said.

    Appreciate your input. I will being filing the necessary paperwork to get the order modified.

    Can I expect a smooth process? We waived a hearing initially which made the order stand. Should I expect to have to have a hearing now? Or will it be treated as a voluntary withdrawal or something? Sorry. I'm sure there are proper legal terms that I just don't know! Lol

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: How to Remove a Temporary Order of Protection Against My Ex

    I called the court today and no one would answer any questions if I don't have a lawyer. Ugh. I can't get to legal aid during the week bc of work.

    Any suggestions on the next course of action?

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