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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Establishing a Father's Rights

    Nashville, Tennessee
    My husband has two kids and never married the kids' mom. We recently went to court to try to get joint custody not knowing that my husband didn't have any rights to the kids because they were never married. Even though never married, he always provided health care, always provided a home, always had food, clothing and everything else the kids needed. He also spent equal times with the kids as the mother did. With doing all of this, he still does not have any rights. So she ends up being appointed custodial parent and my husband with just visitations. In court, the judge told the mother's attorney that my husband would only be paying $29 a month, give or take, in child support. The reason for this amount is because my husband makes .17 more than she does. The judge also told her attorney to put the days my husband would have the children. When the order was presented to us, the days were wrong and the child support was totally off. Her attorney had filled out the child support worksheet and came out with the amount of $947 a month. We are worried that she is just trying to get as much money out of my husband as possible. The judge told her attorney what to put down as child support and we don't know which amount is right. We also have an attorney but he is not worried about the child support as he is about the number of days. My husband has done everything for the kids since they have been born. And just because he did not physically give birth to the kids, he doesn't have any rights to them. Is there anything we can do as far the child support? We didn't know if we could go back to court or go juvenile court to settle this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    984

    Default Re: my husband's rights

    Quote Quoting shrimp
    Nashville, Tennessee
    My husband has two kids and never married the kids' mom. We recently went to court to try to get joint custody not knowing that my husband didn't have any rights to the kids because they were never married. Even though never married, he always provided health care, always provided a home, always had food, clothing and everything else the kids needed. He also spent equal times with the kids as the mother did. With doing all of this, he still does not have any rights. So she ends up being appointed custodial parent and my husband with just visitations. In court, the judge told the mother's attorney that my husband would only be paying $29 a month, give or take, in child support. The reason for this amount is because my husband makes .17 more than she does. The judge also told her attorney to put the days my husband would have the children. When the order was presented to us, the days were wrong and the child support was totally off. Her attorney had filled out the child support worksheet and came out with the amount of $947 a month. We are worried that she is just trying to get as much money out of my husband as possible. The judge told her attorney what to put down as child support and we don't know which amount is right. We also have an attorney but he is not worried about the child support as he is about the number of days. My husband has done everything for the kids since they have been born. And just because he did not physically give birth to the kids, he doesn't have any rights to them. Is there anything we can do as far the child support? We didn't know if we could go back to court or go juvenile court to settle this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
    Breathe your husband's attorney is handling it and will get the errors corrected. Your husband doesn't have parental rights because he didn't file for them not because they were not married when both parents would have equal custody. It also sounds like the judge did give him credit for having been a responsible father. So once the days of visitation are corrected, then the child support can be corrected. Were the transcripts ordered? Also some things might change once the order is issued, such as what he has to buy etc. Also after a time he may again try for joint physical custody or were you talking 50/50 custody? Joint legal custody?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    Thank you for responding. I know that attorneys are suppose to handle things but our attorney is retired and picks up cases here and there and I don't think he is even familiar with the new child support law that just went into effect on June 26,2006. We didn't know what the process was in order to file for custody the right way. Our attorney never told us that we needed to go thru juvenile. When we filed the first petition, it was for joint custody. After a year, we finally have a hearing. Our attorney filed another petition asking for full custody because throughout the year, the mother has put the kids in not so good environments as far as child care. She can not keep a job for more than 6 months. She's kept the kids from seeing us when she gets mad at my husband about things and we don't think that the kids should be tossed around like that whenever she got upset. She also tells the older child that we are going to court and that daddy doesn't want to see him. We thought that since we were married and both have been at our jobs for a long time that we would have a better chance of getting full custody.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    984

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    You are welcome. If you are not sure whether or not he is familar with the new child support calculations efective this June ask him, however a judge has discretion in what is finally ordered which may work in your favor. See how all of this pans out and dad's visitation restored, and actual orders in place, then you can look into either appealing the orders or modifying them in the future, had dad established orders early on, this would be less difficult since courts are hesident to change custody without a significant change, whereas visitation can accommodate the parent/child relationship. You never answered my quesiton about whether or not dad has joint legal custody which gives him some say in decision making and is different than physicial custody.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    Dad does not have joint legal custody. That was what we were trying to get by filing the petititon. As for the child support the judge ordered it to be $29 and whatever child care expenses would be. If that is what the judge ordered, shouldn't that be in the order? Regardless of how the calculations come out on the child support worksheet?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    My husband and I received the final order. The only thing the judge corrected on the order was the extra week that my husband was suppose to get during the summer and lowered the child support only $50 less than what was originally put on the order. The story is. . . we went to court with the kids mom and in court, the judge said we would only be paying $29 in child support and when we received the order, the child support was $947. We don't believe that the majority of the order is correct. The child support, the days that we would have the kids and now they are saying that we are responsible for paying her attorney's fees. But in the order, it only stated "court fees". Does that include attorney's fees??

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    Have you had the order reviewed by a local lawyer, or tried to verify the support calculation under the state child support guidelines?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    We have an attorney but he is done this case. When we tried to tell him that the child support was wrong he just blew us off and said it was correct. He was more worried about getting the days correct. So as far as we're concered, we are thru with him. We are looking to consult with another attorney to try to appeal this.
    We told our attorney all the things that were wrong with the order and he did not even correct our address on the order. The only thing he got corrected was getting the extra week during the summer.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    There is something else we would like to know. We know that the kids mom does drugs. We know for sure that she smokes marajuna and have had people tell us that she does ecstasy. Is this good enough reason for my husband to get full custody???

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Establishing a Father's Rights

    Quote Quoting shrimp
    There is something else we would like to know. We know that the kids mom does drugs. We know for sure that she smokes marajuna and have had people tell us that she does ecstasy. Is this good enough reason for my husband to get full custody???
    Do you actually have proof of her doing these things? Proof that can be taken into a court room, and not what someone else has told you?

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