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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default Can a Man Be Required to Support a Child Conceived by IVF

    My question involves child support in the State of: Texas

    I'm a 27 year old international student here in the US on an F1 visa to pursue my masters. I did a series of the most stupidest things ever and my life is ruined now. So, kindly tell me the best way to go about things from here instead of further condemning me as I'm already depressed and scared to death. I came to USA earlier this January, I don't understand how the law works here and am really scared.

    I started seeing this 45 year old woman (who looks much younger) this September. She persuaded me into having unprotected sex with her for 15 weeks. She never had a baby as one of her ovaries is inclined and said condoms irritate her skin and convinced me that unprotected sex won't get her pregnant. She is an actress. She did a convincing job. My life is screwed. I was never in a relationship, so was unable to resist the temptation. It's all my fault.

    Turns out that all this was a plan to get me to donate sperm for the IVF surgery she would go on to have this November. Before the surgery, she got me to give my sperm to a Texas Health clinic to check for fertility. I reluctantly did it after repeatedly inquiring with the receptionist if the sperm would be used for any other purpose besides testing for sperm count and all. They assured me that it was just for testing for fertility. So, I went ahead. A few days after that, she wanted to have the IVF surgery. I asked her to wait for a couple of months as I'm still doing my masters, with no job. But, she kept pushing saying if she cancels it, she has to pay the whole amount that her insurance would pay otherwise. She probably lied. I said I wasn't ready. And then, she said she is pregnant already. I asked her why go with the risky IVF if she is already pregnant and she said she wanted twins now. I said I'm not doing it. So, she got a donor (somehow) and got him to donate sperm for the IVF. Now, she is pregnant with twins. This is her seventh week. She told me two weeks ago that she mixed my sperm with the donor's for the IVF. I asked her how is it even possible as the clinic assured me it would not be used for any other purposes, and she said she has a friend working in the clinic. I wanted to take legal action against the clinic, but I neither had money nor resources to do so.

    I would marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, but, she keeps hiding things from me, and therefore, I'm just unable to trust her. Also, I'm too scared to break-up as I want to know what her plans are. She has my pictures and all to prove that we were dating.

    So, I don't know what to do here. What am I liable for and what do I do? Please help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: How to go about things in the horrible situation I have got myself into? Please h

    I'm just going to copy and paste what I told you in the other forum:

    Honestly? I think you're being scammed. It's ... actually painfully obvious that she's lying to you. She's currently pregnant and she thinks she'll get IVF because she wants twins?! Um .. no. Just no.

    Do NOT sign or agree to ANYTHING before paternity is established. Ignore her until you receive something from the court telling you that she's suing for paternity. Then, request a DNA test. The court WILL allow this.

    Until then, there's not much you can do.

    Edit: That clinic that you went to - find what you signed, and read it very, very carefully. Yes, you will have signed something and if you lost it they'll have a copy.
    - - - Updated - - -

    Oh sweet Lord ... YOU ARE BEING LIED TO. I just re-read. SHE IS SCAMMING YOU.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Can a Man Be Required to Support a Child Conceived by IVF

    This story is just plain implausible.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    View Post
    I started seeing this 45 year old woman (who looks much younger) this September. She persuaded me into having unprotected sex with her for 15 weeks.
    If you had sex with her, and conceived by virtue of having sex, then you are obviously going to be responsible to support your child. Once the child is born, you can determine whether or not you are the father through a paternity test.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    Turns out that all this was a plan to get me to donate sperm for the IVF surgery she would go on to have this November.
    Your fifteen-week-long sexual relationship had nothing to do with her IVF procedure.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    Before the surgery, she got me to give my sperm to a Texas Health clinic to check for fertility. I reluctantly did it after repeatedly inquiring with the receptionist if the sperm would be used for any other purpose besides testing for sperm count and all.
    Why would you have fertility testing if you were not trying to get your girlfriend pregnant?

    Why would you repeatedly ask the receptionist if your sperm could be used for a purpose other than fertility testing?
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    A few days after that, she wanted to have the IVF surgery. I asked her to wait for a couple of months as I'm still doing my masters, with no job. But, she kept pushing saying if she cancels it, she has to pay the whole amount that her insurance would pay otherwise.
    Why would you care about when she was to have her IVF procedure? You're not her husband, you wouldn't be the father, you wouldn't be responsible to support the child.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    I said I wasn't ready.
    You said that you weren't ready for what?
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    And then, she said she is pregnant already.
    If she were pregnant already she would not be going in for IVF.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    I asked her why go with the risky IVF if she is already pregnant and she said she wanted twins now. I said I'm not doing it. So, she got a donor (somehow) and got him to donate sperm for the IVF. Now, she is pregnant with twins.
    The clinic would have administered a pregnancy test before the IVF procedure, and they would have declined to proceed with IVF if she were pregnant.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    She told me two weeks ago that she mixed my sperm with the donor's for the IVF. I asked her how is it even possible as the clinic assured me it would not be used for any other purposes, and she said she has a friend working in the clinic.
    That simply didn't happen. Also, why would she bother -- if she wanted you to be the father, she wouldn't need to mix anything.
    Quote Quoting Neesham
    I would marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, but, she keeps hiding things from me, and therefore, I'm just unable to trust her.
    Then man up and end the relationship. If she is in fact pregnant, you can address the paternity issue once the children are born (if she's actually pregnant).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Can a Man Be Required to Support a Child Conceived by IVF

    Since you said you have not ended the relationship are we to understand you are still having sex with her?

    Given her habit of lying, unless you have personally seen authoritative proof of her being pregnant, I would not accept it as necessarily factual. Given the possibility she isn't pregnant, every time you have sex you risk the possibility she will become pregnant.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can a Man Be Required to Support a Child Conceived by IVF

    From another site:

    "Please don't ask me why I got engaged. I did so as I feel scared, alone and helpless. If I'm with her, I would at least know what she is up to. I actually used to love her and the engagement was a honest proposal hoping she would change and we would start a family together. I tried to change myself to make her like me, and she said she loves me, but whenever I try to talk about love and relationship, she is like she doesn't really want to talk about relationships anymore (I thought it was because of her past). She did help me shop for thinksgiving, gifted me things on my birthday and all. She sounds honest sometimes, but she keeps hiding too many things from me."

    and

    "I know. It's a bizzarre and confusing relationship for me. I would love nothing more than moving in and marrying her, but she keeps hiding things from me. She still hasn't let me visit her current apartment even on my insisting. She says she stays with her girlfriend, and whenever I tell her that I'll visit her, she tells me the house is dirty and all. I'm really suspicious now. This one's not that bad, but she has all her facebook contacts hidden from me as private, but it's more of a personal space, so I ignored. It's little things like this that scare me."

    Either troll, or hopelessly stupid. Either way we cannot help him here.

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