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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    2

    Thumbs down How to Help My Boyfriend With a False Domestic Violence Accusation

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: AK

    Long story short I went over to my bf's house to tell him if I was going to break up with him or stay with him. We have had an ongoing fight about some issues. I got to his house and I ended up blocking his door so he wouldn't throw me out of his house, as he did not want me there. His sister in the next room heard us struggling over the door and ended up breaking the lock open and saw me on the floor (since my back was at the door when she slammed it) and started accusing him of hurting me. I told her he was trying to throw me out and she got even more angry and started to hit him (this is sadly normal for her). He pushed her and she started to call the cops and accuse him of being abusive. That's when he broke it off with me because of her. I tried to stop both of them but I got angry and got my stuff and left.

    I had driven a few blocks down and was there for awhile just all upset and angry and crying. They took text messages I send his sister that had me calling him things like a stupid attacker and how he shoved me from the door. The cops used now ex bf's phone to contact me threw and take a statement. This caught me off guard since if I knew it was the cops I would not have answered. At the time I was so angry that I exaggerated what he had done as I couldn't stop thinking of how out of character it was for him to get so upset. The cops didn't ask me about his sister or what she had done. I was too upset to clearly state she was the one attacking and they had only asked me about things he did. Later I found out she accused him of strangling her and beating me up. He also admitted to pushing her. She told the cops a long story of how he had beaten me up on a regular basis and how he should be thrown in jail. I confronted her later that it wasn't true and she ended up threatening to hurt me next or throw me in jail too.

    I called back the cop to tell him exactly what happened and he said I was a liar. I even showed him the text message of his sister threatening me and he just ignored it. He said he would leave out everything about his sister and that I should get battered woman counseling. There were 0 marks on her or on me and there were bruises all over my ex from his sister hitting and kicking him that the cops didn't record because they were under his shirt. I just got a subpoena to court and I'm now really unsure what to do. I don't want to recant my statement and get in trouble because of the heat of the moment, but I'm scared if I tell the truth they will pin me a liar and convict him anyways.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: How to Help My Boyfriend With a False Domestic Violence Accusation

    I'm sorry but, that version makes absolutely no sense. It appears even after what you wrote that your boyfriend was an abuse. For his own sister to force open the door and look to defend you usually translates to this being a more than one time issue. Text messages from you compaining about his previous abuse substantiates that as well. Trust me. Allow the police to do their job without interference. He needs the intervention.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: How to Help My Boyfriend With a False Domestic Violence Accusation

    I was with him for 5 years, and its quite the opposite. His sister is bipolar and has multiple mental illnesses. In all honesty his mom convinced us to just let her get away with stuff because she's been violent so often but we can usually calm her down. I've been there a lot and have had to personally restrain her myself because she would try and hit or kick people. He's had to deal with her like this since growing up. That's the reason I think they're taking this so seriously is BECAUSE it's his sister saying all of this. She misunderstood the situation and I was there up until their mom came home and he never choked her out but he did push her away from him. And the text messages were from that day, not from the past, I was angry because of the breakup and honestly wanted to be a bitch, but I didn't think they'd get a hold of the texts. She literally kept kicking him to the point where he was on the floor crying. She's the type of person who says stuff like "I'll slowly slit a throats bitch if she even looks at me wrong or my man" And then giggles about it. The issue is her mom usually keeps her in check when she calls the police a lot, but her mom wasn't home that day. And then I was stupid and so angry and upset that I wasn't thinking clearly enough about any of this because I've never been involved with any sort of law.

    I've had to personally deal with her threatening my friends, hitting her mom, yelling and throwing things at her bf. She's honestly just a mess. I know for a fact their family won't do anything to get her treatment because their mom doesn't speak English well and they are low income. I just don't have any hard evidence other than getting statements from people she's threatened.

    Also I don't know why the title was changed to "boyfriend" when he's my ex. He made the call to break up and it's been that way since. But also, see this is my problem. I know subjectively when you look at it like this it really looks like he's the issue. That's why I'm scared that everyone in the jury and court will just brand me a liar.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: How to Help My Boyfriend With a False Domestic Violence Accusation

    The evidence doesn't tell that version(at least not the summation that you've provided.) By your own admission, you don't have much in terms of proof that your ex isn't abusive. Even if you provided some evidence to the mental state of his sister, it has nothing to do with the charge that your ex is facing. Plus the fact that you sent his so called mentally unstable sister all these texts concerning his abuse, now you want to take it back and act as if those never existed. Not going to happen.

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