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  1. #1

    Default Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Custody

    My wife abandoned me and our two kids about 4 months ago. She works full time and dose not support the kids financially at all. She only sees the kids about once a week. She left me with the kids, all the bills, medical payments, loans ect to pay all by myself... She's threatening me to take the kids if I go after her for child support or custody. I don't want my kids to get hurt anymore with her coming to see them when she gets ready. We have an agreement between each other for her to pick them up on the weekends but she blows them off half the time. She says I'm the reason she moved out and that's why she doesn't pick the kids up. But the only time she sees them is when she comes by the house. She refuses to take them anywhere. But if I'm the problem then why doesn't she pick them up verses coming to the house to visit them. She is just using me I fear to take care of her. And using the fact that she's a woman to get over on me. I just want to move on with my kids and my life and not have her dictate when she can come around and stop my plans and control me and not contribute financially for our kids. I don't have a lot of money but any help would be greatly appreciated... Sorry for all the writing...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Regarding My Kids and Child Support and Wife Estranged Wife Threatening Me

    File immediately for divorce and temporary custody pending a final determination.

    Where are you located? Let's see if we can find you some local information.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    I'm located in California

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Quote Quoting Christopher12
    View Post
    I'm located in California

    Excellent. California is incredibly helpful to self-represented litigants. So start reading, have a browse (there is a lot to go through) and think about what your end goal should be. http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-divorce.htm

    Gender is not an issue, and if your wife thinks she can bulldoze you because she happens to have physically birthed the children she's not going to have fun in court.

    There's also SPARC which, although aimed at NCPs, has some incredible information and some great forums. Go have a look. http://www.deltabravo.net/cms/

  5. #5

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Ok wow thank you so much I really appreciate all this

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    California
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Also I would like to point out that many California courts have family law facilitators offices at the courthouse with the necessary forms you need.
    Here's another link:

    www.courts.ca.gov/1033.htm for more info.

    Some more tips:

    1. Some local courts have forms on their court website. You can find your local court by googling "your county name Superior Court".
    2. Child support can be calculated by the judge. Some of them like doing that. It might be easier than running the calculator on your own.
    3. There are lawyers who offer "unbundled services", which means they can give you advice on how to fill out forms, or partially represent you, or run that child support calculator for you.
    4. If you need a lawyer, make sure you check to make sure they have not been reprimanded by the State Bar: http://calbar.ca.gov/
    5. Be prepared to go to mediation before you have a court date, it's standard.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Ok coo thank you very much

  8. #8

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Hey I have some more questions... I make about 4700 a month and after taxes and medical, dental, and vision I take home about 3300. I have my kids full time and I take care of them financially by myself. My estranged wife works full time and pulls In after taxes about 2200 a month. We have over 20,000 dollars in debt I'm paying on them all by myself. is she half liable for the debt? If I make more than her and I have all the bills and debts and kids to take care of will I have to pay her anything? Or am I eligible for child support in this situation? These paralegals just want Money out of me and might be setting me up to fail. Another question..why is it that when woman make more money than the man and they end up keeping the kids, house etc... Why dose the man always have to still pay the woman? But when a man gets the kids, house, etc.... He still has to pay the woman cause makes more money? Who is suppose to take care of the kids if I'm paying her half my take home income and I have the kids still, all the bills, and all the debt? Any help would be greatly appreciated....thank you in advance

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    1,695

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Why are you dealing with paralegals? Find a respected family law firm and work with an attorney; if he wants to have his paralegals do some of the busy work, that is fine, but you need a licensed, experienced attorney who knows the courts in your area.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Mother Abandoned the Home, but Threatens to Take the Kids if the Father Seeks Cus

    Ok I setup an appointment for Thursday thanks for the advice

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