My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA
I'm new to this so please forgive any mistakes. I have a criminal protection order and a temporary restraining order against the abusive father of my infant. The baby is only protected by the TRO, not the CPO. He is sueing me for full custody, but I was awarded sole legal and physical custody pending the outcome of his criminal case for DV.
He gets unsupervised visitation 4 days a week a few hours a day. My infant was showing symptoms of an illness for the past few days and I spoke with her Dr who advised me she may have had a contagious illness. I allowed her to have her scheduled visitation. The following morning her rash was worse, as well as other symptoms. I spoke with an advice nurse and decided to cancel her visit that day. My main reason was that she was possibly contagious.
I am required to have a third party drop her off in a predetermined public place. He is supposed to have a third party pick her up, due to the CPO, but he always comes personally along with a third party. Anyway I didn't want to risk infecting others so I sent a text message which he never responded to letting him know she was worse and I had to decided cancel. The judge says I must text him with any medical contact and allow full access to her Dr. I had informed him 3 days prior she was sick and likely contagious, but as I said, she still had her visit. He never responded or mentioned her being sick to the friend who dropped her off and later picked her up that time either. I also emailed my attorney as well about needing to cancel.
I assumed he got my message but an hour amd a half after his visit should have began, the police came to my house. They said he was violating the CPO, he should have no contact with the baby or me. I told them there was a court order, showing them the TRO with visitation, but they said the CPO trumps that. Now I'm confused, I wish he didn't have unsupervised visits, but I am going to do what the judge says as I am the respondent (he's the petitioner) and she won't issue my permanent RO just yet. I don't want to jeopardize my daughter being in my custody, even though she has lived with me exclusively since I left and went to a battered woman's shelter with her at a few months old.
The police said he had sent them for a welfare check. They saw my infant was sick, said I did the right thing. They gave me an incident card indicating a report was taken. Can iv get a copy of that report later?
I have every intention of allowing him to make up his missed visit. This is the only visit I had to cancel. It's frustrating because after everything he put me through, He is still controlling me, using a judge and the police. He has sent them out multiple times, and every time, they tell me they always see this in DV cases, but that my child looks fine.
I feel trapped but my attorney says I can not do anything, since he claims I was the abusive one, and trying to fight it will substanciate his claims. I have police reports, photos of bruises, medical records and affidavits from shelter staff all showing his behavior. But so far only I have had to prove myself in court. Nothing I have requested in return has been granted, things like he refuses to use a child car seat properly, or drug testing and concerns of his own mental state. He admitted to the judge he uses drugs, but that he decided to get a medical marijuana card a few weeks back so the judge says she can't drug test him. My friends say he smells like marijuana when my daughter returns. He was told he is not to use drugs, prescription or not when he has her or prior to picking her up.
I'm am terrified that cancelling her visit is going to give the judge reason to grant his request for full custody. One of his claims is I have Munchausen by proxy. Does telling him she was sick give proof of that? I have a letter from her Dr saying all my care of her has been appropriate and the judge subpoenaed both hers and my medical records to be reviewed before the next hearing. He also claims I am off medication for bi polar disorder, however I have never been treated for Bi polar disorder nor prescribed meds! I am court ordered to get a psychiatric evaluation, but I see a therapist regularly and am only diagnosed with PTSD based on childhood trauma. He refused to allow me therapy while we were together, but tried multiple times to have me committed to the mental hospital. It worked once, having been put on a 5150 in the ER over night, and then left there with my daughter after he claimed I threatened to hurt her. The Dr released my hold in less than 24 hours. My daughter stayed with me the entire hospitalization. So I am assuming his claims of me being unfit mentally will be dimissed based on that as well?
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I want to add, I am terrified of this person. He tried to kill me multiple times. He has broken my bones, he forced himself on me in front of our then ten week old. I am extremely concerned for our safety, but for now I have to play along. I don't want him have my address or phone number, but he obviously knows where I live because of the police visits, which always seem to occur a few mins after returning home.
He has shown "an interest" in girls as young as 13, constantly commenting on our former neighbors young daughter as "hot". My daughter is always returned missing her clothing I sent her in, her skirts or tights. Her dresses are always unbuttoned as well and there's no need to remove a dress for a diaper change. If she's had a blowout, then he would need to completely remove and change her clothing into another outfit. She comes home in the same dress, just unbuttoned. She isn't with him long enough for him to have washed and dried and redressed her, so why are her clothes being taken off. She isn't old enough to unbutton them herself, especially in the back. Why hasn't he been able to locate her skirts that she was wearing on visits, he said he didn't know what happened to them. These are brand new skirts I bought her recently and still, he should not have to remove a skirt for a diaper change either.
I have tried to bring this up with the judge and mentioned it to the police, but they said at this point its all he said she said. Is there anything I can do?

