Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Husband wants to adopt our son, married 14 years

    In 1991, I found out I was pregnant, I informed the biological father who was in the Armed Forces at the time and I had seen off and on for 3 mths, he stated it would be in the best interest for both of us that I had an abortion, he expressed he was not interested in being a father was not willing to make a commitment emotionally or financially. I explained that with or without him I was going to have and would support the baby myself. Being young and naive at the time I was blessed with a lot of support from my parents, friends, and family... they encouraged me to have the child with out regrets. Well after my son was born I called the BF to let him know, and he was irate and started saying that there was no way it could be his and that I knew how he felt about have a kid, after a bit of an arguement I left with my son and a car chase incurred. Afraid of him I called the police and then had a restraining order placed on him. All about this time I found out he was discharged from the service for using drugs, working at some shipping company who a few months later called me up asking for the where abouts of the BF and that he had stolen a large amount of money from them. I asked them how they got my number and I guess the BF had used my parents address as his place a residence. I told the company that that was false information and I explained my situation to them and stated I truly didn't know very much about him. Anyway a few months later a girl from the company called and mentioned that thru an investigation that the BF had returned to his home state in CA.
    In 1992, I met my husband and was married in 1993 and we have been happily married since. In 1996, prior to the start of school, we changed our sons last name to that of my husband. My husband has raised our 16 YO son as his own and we also have two other children together. We recently purchased a home in NC and my husband wants to legally adopt our son. I have never heard from his BF since he's left my home state. My parents still live in the home I grew up with the same old phone number and not once has the BF tried to contact my son or I. I should add that he was not added to the birth cert. and I never tried to have paternity proven. I never asked or received any type of assistance for supporting my son. My husband has supported all three of my children and myself since we were togehter. I would also love to complete my story with a happy ending....my question is does our situation fall into abandoment or disinterest and will I have to do a search for the BF. If anyone has any information that would be useful I would greatly appreciate it. Is there a way we can do this pro se with out hiring anyone. I am sorry my story was long however I tried to keep it short but tried to fill you in on as much details in case it was pertinent to my plea.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,437

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    You need to hire an attorney and soon.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,126

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Yep. How did you change his name without getting permission from the dad?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Thanks for a quick response...I am curious to know why I should hire an attorney soon? ...As for the name change it was relatively easy. I explained the situation as to the BF, I filled out the documents, and was required to place two separate Public notices of my intent in CA as well as the state I was in. I picked LA Times because it was the most popular newspaper where the BF supposedly resided. After that was completed I had to show proof that the notices had been paid for and the ads were printed. I then change my son's name on his SS card and birth certicate.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,126

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Quote Quoting Kimi
    View Post
    Thanks for a quick response...I am curious to know why I should hire an attorney soon? ...As for the name change it was relatively easy. I explained the situation as to the BF, I filled out the documents, and was required to place two separate Public notices of my intent in CA as well as the state I was in. I picked LA Times because it was the most popular newspaper where the BF supposedly resided. After that was completed I had to show proof that the notices had been paid for and the ads were printed. I then change my son's name on his SS card and birth certicate.
    Oh, okay. As long as it was legal. The attorney is because step parent adoption is EXPENSIVE and COMPLICATED. You cannot do it alone.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    According to North Carolina's statutes:
    Quote Quoting North Carolina General Statutes - Consent and Step-Parent Adoption
    § 48‑4‑102. Consent to adoption of stepchild.
    Except under circumstances described in G.S. 48‑3‑603, a petition to adopt a minor stepchild may be granted only if consent to the adoption has been executed by the adoptee if 12 or more years of age; and
    (1) The adoptee's parents as described in G.S. 48‑3‑601; and

    (2) Any guardian of the adoptee.
    The consent of an incompetent parent may be given pursuant to the procedures in G.S. 48‑3‑602.
    -------

    § 48‑3‑603. Persons whose consent is not required.
    (a) Consent to an adoption of a minor is not required of a person or entity whose consent is not required under G.S. 48‑3‑601, or:
    (1) An individual whose parental rights and duties have been terminated under Article 11 of Chapter 7B of the General Statutes or by a court of competent jurisdiction in another state;

    (2) A man described in G.S. 48‑3‑601(2), other than an adoptive father, if (i) the man has been judicially determined not to be the father of the minor to be adopted, or (ii) another man has been judicially determined to be the father of the minor to be adopted;

    (3) Repealed by Session Laws 1997‑215, s. 11(a).

    (4) An individual who has relinquished parental rights or guardianship powers, including the right to consent to adoption, to an agency pursuant to Part 7 of this Article;

    (5) A man who is not married to the minor's birth mother and who, after the conception of the minor, has executed a notarized statement denying paternity or disclaiming any interest in the minor;

    (6) A deceased parent or the personal representative of a deceased parent's estate; or

    (7) An individual listed in G.S. 48‑3‑601 who has not executed a consent or a relinquishment and who fails to respond to a notice of the adoption proceeding within 30 days after the service of the notice.

    (8) An individual notified under G.S. 48‑2‑206 who does not respond in a timely manner or whose consent is not required as determined by the court.

    (9) An individual whose actions resulted in a conviction under G.S. 14‑27.2 or G.S. 14‑27.3 and the conception of the minor to be adopted.
    (b) The court may issue an order dispensing with the consent of:
    (1) A guardian or an agency that placed the minor upon a finding that the consent is being withheld contrary to the best interest of the minor; or

    (2) A minor 12 or more years of age upon a finding that it is not in the best interest of the minor to require the consent.
    For termination of parental rights under Article 11 of Chapter 7B, it's possible for a parent to petition for the termination of rights of the other parent. The statutes provide a rather broad set of circumstances which can justify involuntary termination for a child born out-of-wedlock:
    Quote Quoting NCGS § 7B‑1111. Grounds for terminating parental rights.
    (5) The father of a juvenile born out of wedlock has not, prior to the filing of a petition or motion to terminate parental rights:
    a. Established paternity judicially or by affidavit which has been filed in a central registry maintained by the Department of Health and Human Services; provided, the court shall inquire of the Department of Health and Human Services as to whether such an affidavit has been so filed and shall incorporate into the case record the Department's certified reply; or

    b. Legitimated the juvenile pursuant to provisions of G.S. 49‑10 or filed a petition for this specific purpose; or

    c. Legitimated the juvenile by marriage to the mother of the juvenile; or

    d. Provided substantial financial support or consistent care with respect to the juvenile and mother.
    * * *

    (7) The parent has willfully abandoned the juvenile for at least six consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of the petition or motion, or the parent has voluntarily abandoned an infant pursuant to G.S. 7B‑500 for at least 60 consecutive days immediately preceding the filing of the petition or motion.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Aaron....I truly appreciate the abundance of information you posted, I now have a clearer understanding and will follow the lead. Thank you, and thank everyone who has taken the time to respond to my inquiries.....

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Quote Quoting seniorjudge
    View Post
    You need to hire an attorney and soon.
    Seniorjudge...could you please clarify your comment for me. I am new to this forum and lack any type of legal experience. Your input would be greatly appreciated.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    1,126

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Quote Quoting Kimi
    View Post
    Seniorjudge...could you please clarify your comment for me. I am new to this forum and lack any type of legal experience. Your input would be greatly appreciated.
    My answer wasn't helpful?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Married 14 yrs...Husband wants to adopt our son

    Quote Quoting moburkes
    View Post
    My answer wasn't helpful?
    I apologize, your response actually was placed while I was responding to Seniorjudge's comment. Yes, it was helpful, but I feel regrets that I would need to hire someone as I feel that if I put enough time, effort, and energy into researching what is required I may likely be able to accomplish this with just a little help along the way....I don't want anyone to think that I ever played hide and seek to keep the BF out of the picture. I think that if he ever had regrets he could have easily contacted me through my parents, I am always a phone call away. Although, I know I could probably have pressed for child support and what ever else is out there, but.. I would not want to drag him through the coals when he was honest and stated that he wasn't ready to be a dad.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Property Division: Mother Was Married 9 Years, Now Ex-Husband Gets % of Retirement
    By ForSomeone in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-27-2010, 11:53 AM
  2. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02-16-2010, 01:21 PM
  3. Marriage: Married for 3 Years Have Green Card, Want to Separate from Husband.what Are My Rights
    By irish_eyes79 in forum Visas for Business, Tourism and Family
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-03-2009, 05:10 AM
  4. Can My Fiance Adopt After We Get Married
    By southernmommy in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-12-2009, 03:28 PM
  5. Marriage: Married 9 Years, No Papers Filed, Husband Wants to Divorce
    By HurtOz in forum Visas for Business, Tourism and Family
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-11-2008, 10:04 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources