At What Age Can You Move Out of Your Parents' Home Without Permission

[cladams6685]

My question involves juvenile law in the State of: North Carolina
I live with my dad and adopted mom. My adopted mother abuses me physically and mentally, my dad takes her side always. I called CPS and they have been investigating the situation, last time they came they said they would most likely close the case. How can I get away from these people if child protective services can't even do their job. I don't feel safe there and want out. How old do I have to be to leave without their permission to move in with my birth mother?

[cbg]

18.

[cladams6685]

that's what I was afraid of. The state does not look out for us teenagers under the age of 18. I see it all the time CPS will butt in homes where things are good and take children out, but when even the child tells them that they are not safe in the home, CPS says well we are going to close the case. North Carolina is a screwed up state

[Dogmatique]

It needs to be pointed out that your biological mother has no more rights to you than I do - she is no longer your mother legally speaking.

CPS needs actual proof of abuse - they cannot simply take the word of a minor.

[cladams6685]

OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

[Dogmatique]

OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

Parents are, unfortunately, allowed to be craptacular parents and verbal abuse is very, very rarely addressed by the court.

So, either she agrees or you wait until you're 18.

I also want to emphasize something. If you even think about running to your biological mother - don't. SHE will get into severe trouble if she doesn't send you right back home.

[cdwjava]

OK. I understand. But I am not giving up. I have given them all I got, her calling me names like slut and whore isn't just enough.

What actions on your part have led to her calling you such names? I doubt that you were sitting in your bedroom one day doing math homework and she came in and started calling you a slut and a whore. While I am not condoning such language, it has been my experience as a father, teacher, and police officer, that there are actions by the child that often contributes or leads into these situations. Have you been staying out, leaving, or disobeying your mom for a while? Has your perceived intransigence or disobedience contributed to the problems you are having?

As was mentioned, running away to stay with your birth mom could get HER in trouble, and you dragged back home even if you do not want to go. There is a reason that the courts took you away from bio-mom ... she did not lose custody because she forgot to give you milk and cookies.

When you turn 18 - and not a minute before - you can walk out the back with the clothes on your back and whatever else mom allows you to take with her (if anything at all). If mom allows you to leave and live somewhere else, then, that's a different story. But, until that happens, you are subject to her rules until age 18.

[cladams6685]

I am a virgin. I have had a boyfriend that I would talk to on the phone, and she would take my phone and read messages, and just because I would say I loved the boy she would call me names. I do not call this woman my mother. She just adopted me a couple years ago after her and my dad talked to my biological mom. They told her they needed this woman to adopt for purposes of her taking me to the doctor and them being able to discuss issues with her so my dad wouldn't have to miss work. She agreed because they told both me and her they wouldn't keep us apart, and my adopted mom is so worried that my mom might still my dad back that she demands I don't have contact with my biological mom. And my dad won't listen to me, because making his wife happy is more important than I am to him. I have never had a friend over, never had a birthday party that included anyone besides my dads family. We can't even play outside. So you tell me if I am just being a kid about things and my dad and STEP mom are great parents and I should just deal

[Dogmatique]

Honestly? Yeah, you are, and yes you should.

You need to understand that legally your biological mother is no longer your parent and that your parents - that's Dad and MOM-who-you-call-stepmom-kinda - have every right to stop you from having contact. In fact, bio can get into trouble if she is encouraging you to contact her against their wishes. She has no more right to contact you, than I.

Interestingly, your consent was required as part of the adoption proceeding. So ...

[cdwjava]

Your feelings in the matter don't really matter. If bio-mom gave up custody or LOST custody, then she is legally a non-entity in your current issues.

And, again, the apparent conflict did not just occur out of whole cloth as you were quietly doing homework and attending to your chores. SOMETHING brought this conflict to a head, and I doubt is was simply mom being in a mood and deciding one day that she would call you names.

Legally, yeah, you kinda gotta "just deal." If the abuse is physical, tell a teacher, the police, CPS, or whoever will listen. If she is just mean to you, there is not much that can be done about that (legally).