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  1. #1

    Default Bringing Charges Against My Ex's Former Boyfriend for Battering Our Child

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ca
    I recently found out the reason my daughter has been cutting herself. Ive had her now for 5 months and shes been better but recently in a discussion with her she stated that her mothers x boyfriend was beating her up everytime she left them alone. This was over year and a half to two years ago.
    Worst part of it all is when my x broke up with him my daughter was finally not scared to talk to her mom about it but her mother did nothing.
    Im at a loss but my daughter wants to handle this by confronting her mother around me and some other family members. My major question is can i still persue charges against him and are there any charges against her mother for this hanus situation.
    This is my first time on forums so please excuse my run ons

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    1,142

    Default Re: Xwifes X Boyfriend Beat My Daughter Repeatedly

    Is your daughter in therapy right now? From the post I think you must mean you are her father, right? And you obtained custody five months ago? Getting her treatment for her issues right now is the most important thing. How old is your daughter? Self-harming is a symptom of a whole truck load of issues, baggage and problems, and is not caused by one or two specific incidents that you can nail down and say "This is it! This is what caused this! She's doing x because y happened a year and a half ago, I think it was on a Monday!"

    So these incidents happened up to two years ago, and could you please define "beating her up"? Such that there were marks, such that she required medical treatment? And your daughter never told her mother until the boyfriend was gone?

    You say she wants to "handle" this by confronting her mother around "me and some other family members." How on earth can anyone think that some sort of blaming confrontation with her mother with you and some other family members would be of benefit to ANYONE? Sounds like she wants confrontation with her mother where she is protected, proven right and gets to trump her mother and punish her in some way. Sounds like a bad scene which could quickly escalate to a much worse scenario. What does her therapist think about this? My take on this is that you need to let mental health professionals help you with helping your daughter get better, and let them have input into what will be most helpful to her in this situation long before you begin trying to press charges and punish your ex and her ex.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Xwifes X Boyfriend Beat My Daughter Repeatedly

    Quote Quoting curiosityiskillingme
    View Post
    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ca
    I recently found out the reason my daughter has been cutting herself. Ive had her now for 5 months and shes been better but recently in a discussion with her she stated that her mothers x boyfriend was beating her up everytime she left them alone. This was over year and a half to two years ago.
    Worst part of it all is when my x broke up with him my daughter was finally not scared to talk to her mom about it but her mother did nothing.
    Im at a loss but my daughter wants to handle this by confronting her mother around me and some other family members. My major question is can i still persue charges against him and are there any charges against her mother for this hanus situation.
    This is my first time on forums so please excuse my run ons
    Yes, you can file a complaint with the police. Whether it will be prosecuted, we cannot say. As for her mother - that's going to be tricky. Mom will undoubtedly say she had absolutely no idea and now he's no longer present it's a non-issue.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Xwifes X Boyfriend Beat My Daughter Repeatedly

    Quote Quoting curiosityiskillingme
    View Post
    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Ca
    I recently found out the reason my daughter has been cutting herself. Ive had her now for 5 months and shes been better but recently in a discussion with her she stated that her mothers x boyfriend was beating her up everytime she left them alone. This was over year and a half to two years ago.
    Worst part of it all is when my x broke up with him my daughter was finally not scared to talk to her mom about it but her mother did nothing.
    Im at a loss but my daughter wants to handle this by confronting her mother around me and some other family members. My major question is can i still persue charges against him and are there any charges against her mother for this hanus situation.
    This is my first time on forums so please excuse my run ons
    A lot will depend on what is meant by her being "beaten." Unfortunately, unless he assaulted her in such a way that the assault/battery was a felony, the statute of limitations has already passed and no crime can be pursued.

    The same may hold true for mom.

    About all you can do is use this information to modify custody and/or visitation IF you can somehow substantiate that mom knew about her being physically assaulted (if she really was).

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