Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2
Results 11 to 20 of 20
  1. #11

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    She also had the option to be REASONABLE. No court in the world has found a way to address ahead of time every possible scenario where an exception could or should be made so that all possibilities could be built into a court order. Thus, the courts rely on judges to be reasonable, anticipating that anal retentive parents in high hostility modes won't be. Yes, dad's request was entirely reasonable. AND he tried to negotiate with mom. Mom seems to be forgetting that this is about the CHILD. Mom would rather have dad drive the child around while tired and in heavier traffic rather than getting the child on the previous day and being able to leave at a better time? How is that in the child's best interest? Answer: it isn't...it's mom deciding to be an asshole just because she can be. I myself grew up in a very similar situation, and let me tell you, mom's child might be shielded from a lot of this stuff right now, but it won't stay that way and children DO figure out very quickly which parents are primarily concerned with them, and which parents are primarily concerned with using them as a tool with which to poke the other parent. If mom wants to go to court over the issue, it's her time and money - but judges know how these dynamics work and mom will effectively put a big stamp on her forehead that says "JACKASS Just because I have a lot to make up for and cause I CAN" - if one isn't there already.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    View Post
    The Mother does make the child go with the Dad on his parenting times. Sometimes the child is reluctant and sometimes not. That's normal. That particular instance child was being a whiny 11 year old. The Mom was telling the child to get their things and go with Dad. He was impatient and wanted to cause trouble. The Father enjoys throwing his weight around and is a bully.

    I never said I thought the Father should lose custody.

    I was curious if the father taking the child out of school when it was in the Mother's custody time and not returning the child as prearranged per their custody agreement may effect his modification request. The answer was, "we would have no way of knowing". I should have simply asked, if a parent violates a custody agreement in the midst of a modification attempt what is the likelihood the modification request will be denied?

    Thursday morning was their court ordered exchange time, as is Monday, yet the Father took the kid from school Wednesday and is not exchanging until Tuesday. He is not honoring the court-ordered exchange times.

    She filed a contempt letter with the court. As I wrote, this is an ongoing high conflict co-parenting situation between the Mom and Dad. The Mother had mostly been a doormat and the Dad a bully. Mom has started asserting herself as of late and Dad wants to rein her in. From your responses it sounds like the Mother has no legal recourse and just has to suck it up.
    I disagree with everybody else.

    The arrangement was that dad would have the child on Thursday to have this mini vacation and that dad would return the child to school on Monday. Dad asked for mom's Wednesday and she had not yet decided whether or not he could have it, and he arbitrarily took it and arbitrarily took her Monday as well. If a custodial mother did that to a non custodial father we would be all over him telling him to file for contempt.

    I think that mom should file a contempt motion and ask that it be heard with the upcoming custody case. Dad may only get a slap on the wrist for it this time, but if he continues to just take whatever he wants whenever he wants it, eventually the judge is going to get tired of him.

  3. #13

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    My money if circumstances are similar, is on mom being the one that'll irk the judge first. The courts simply don't want nor need to be involved in the equivalent of someone spitting on the sidewalk, which this is. Can little things add up to big things? Sure, but this is a single little thing. If there's a pile of others, by all means have at it. But if we're talking about this incident, and this incident only? Mom's going to be the one to come away with judge bootprints. Cases over single incidents are decided in the mind of the judge in about the first 15 seconds, sometimes less. Mom doesn't want to be the one to walk up to the podium and say "I refused to let my child go with dad the night before a vacation because I had the power to say no and I used it". Right or wrong, that sort of thing paints an image for a judge, one that is hard to shake, and one that mom does NOT want. Without dad saying a word, mom will have already painted herself as the unreasonable bitch - even if she ISNT. Mom could be the sweetest person and best parent on Earth, but if she's going to talk like a duck she needs to be prepared for the judge to treat her like a duck. (And judges don't like ducks.)

    It's called picking one's battles and deciding which hills are worth dying over. This one isn't.

  4. #14

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Thank you, llworking. I felt as if I was not communicating the situation properly. The cherry-picking responses are frustrating. She did file a contempt motion. If nothing else at this time it will be on the record that he is willing to ignore court orders.

    The scenario that aardvarc portrayed above is pretty spot on only it's the Father who is the one to use the child as a tool. Everything about the situation was all for Dad's benefit, not the child's. This is one of the reasons their marriage didn't work out. Dad wasn't willing to consider the child a priority. He does not utilize all of his parenting time, yet wants a custody modification in order to: 1. punish/hurt the Mom, 2. hopefully to reduce the amount of support he pays. Mom actually initiated the negotiation by saying she may be willing to let him get the child early if he would be willing to allow her make up time. I mentioned somewhere above if she asks for switching time for something special his normal response is, "NO, it's MY parenting time." Leaving a large city at rush hour in heavy traffic is not in a child's best interest over leaving in the morning after a good night's sleep.

    The Mother is definitely a helicopter Mom, it's an only child and her pregnancy was very difficult. The Mother puts the child first, over herself much of the time. The Dad enjoys making Mom cry and 'winning'.

    I appreciate the responses.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I disagree with everybody else.
    About what? About whether mom should talk to her lawyer before running off to court? No, I still think she should talk to her lawyer first.

    I don't tell anybody to run off, half-cocked, to file show cause motions. I wouldn't have suggested that to dad when mom refused to comply with the order to the extent that he had to bring the police out to enforce the order, and I have yet to be convinced that it's the best approach here.

    If mom is already getting make-up parenting time, then throwing a couple of thousand dollars at a show cause motion in the hope of getting the court to say, "...and don't do it again", does not strike me as a the best use of either time or money. Also, as custody proceedings remain pending, there will be opportunity to bring up this type of incident without dragging everybody back into court for yet another hearing.

    I hope mom manages herself in court with a lot less of the drama and hyperbole we see from her friend in this forum.

  6. #16

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Her attorney did file a contempt motion.

    She did not refuse to comply with the order, to the extent he called the police. He wanted to make her look bad. She was served with the modification papers a few days after this happened.

    The Mom is not getting make up time at this point.

    The custody modification is currently in the hands of the mediator pending his decision, the modification hearing was the week before this incident.

    Drama and hyperbole? I know both parents quite well. I wrote what I did to try to give a clear picture of the situation in order to get the best legal answer.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    View Post
    Drama and hyperbole? I know both parents quite well. I wrote what I did to try to give a clear picture of the situation in order to get the best legal answer.
    If you can't see how this post is SOAKED with drama, then I hope she doesn't go into court with you as a coach. She doesn't have makeup time yet, but she will. That's all that will come out of this and maybe a speech to say that the both of them need to get it together. Courts are not going to deal with every little dispute they have without SERIOUSLY pissing off the judge.

    And I'll leave you with one little bit of advice I can't believe hasn't been said (even by me) yet. Stop putting other people's business on the internet. If mom has an issue she'd like to discuss regarding her ex and her child, let her post it.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    View Post
    Her attorney did file a contempt motion.
    You mean a motion to show cause. Time will tell if she gets more than an "And don't do it again" for her money.
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    She did not refuse to comply with the order, to the extent he called the police.
    Oh? So she produced the child and, even though the child was in his car, ready to go for the visit, he called the police anyway? Please.
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    He wanted to make her look bad.
    She did that to herself, by failing to comply with the order.
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    She was served with the modification papers a few days after this happened.
    And so the theory of the current motion is what? Turnabout is fair play?
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    The Mom is not getting make up time at this point.
    Nonsense. If she's not getting make-up time, it would be because she doesn't want it.
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    The custody modification is currently in the hands of the mediator pending his decision, the modification hearing was the week before this incident.
    And?
    Quote Quoting Pennsylvania Resident
    Drama and hyperbole?
    Yep. Your descriptions of the sainted mother and evil father are pretty amazing.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I disagree with everybody else.
    I'm shocked!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I disagree with everybody else.

    The arrangement was that dad would have the child on Thursday to have this mini vacation and that dad would return the child to school on Monday. Dad asked for mom's Wednesday and she had not yet decided whether or not he could have it, and he arbitrarily took it and arbitrarily took her Monday as well. If a custodial mother did that to a non custodial father we would be all over him telling him to file for contempt.

    I think that mom should file a contempt motion and ask that it be heard with the upcoming custody case. Dad may only get a slap on the wrist for it this time, but if he continues to just take whatever he wants whenever he wants it, eventually the judge is going to get tired of him.
    I missed that bit.

    Incorrect.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Violating Custody Order

    Mom is certainly free to waste her money. The judge will likely tell dad, bad daddy, mom has separation anxiety and money to waste on a lawyer. She is now wasting the courts time because of you. Please cater to her helicopter like obsessive behavior and let her have have the comp time her daughter is going to be in her home, locked in her room ignoring her anyway next time, so the tax payers are not forced to pay for wasted time and can use it on real cases, with real issues that could be heard.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 1 2

Similar Threads

  1. Education Law Issues: Enrolling a Child in School After Taking Temporary Emergency Custody
    By dkredwine in forum Education Law
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-02-2015, 12:03 PM
  2. Modification of Custody: Visitation Schedule Changing After Child Starts Grade School
    By kax in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-12-2013, 03:07 PM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: Custodial Parent Not Taking Child to School - What to Do
    By dvstate in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-04-2013, 06:20 PM
  4. Enforcing Custody Orders: Dispute Over Children's Activities, Vacation Schedule
    By momtofour in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 04-14-2013, 08:27 PM
  5. Disagreement Over Summer Vacation Schedule
    By jamiebright5 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-08-2011, 05:11 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources