Getting Custody from Arkansas to Florida

[donijo23]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arkansas

I live in Florida and 2 of my 3 daughters (ages 14, & 13 in February) want to live with me. They currently live in Arkansas with their father and their step-mother. My ex-husband has said no when they asked to come to live with me. He works away from home. He is home maybe one weekend a month unless he is between jobs. My girls want to be with me because I am home everyday and they want to be with one of their parents full time. They have many complaints about their step-mother as well.

Is there something I can do from the state of Florida? I do not know where to begin and need some type of help so that my girls can come home.

[Dogmatique]

How long has Dad been working away? Did he have this schedule when custody was decided?

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ETA: Tell us about your work schedule, too.

[donijo23]

I originally had the kids when we split 11 years ago. I was young and thought I could do it all and I couldn't. We had papers drawn up and noterized of what I would pay a month and that he would have a job where he was at home. That never happened. When I tried to call a lawyer they told me that a noterized paper will not hold up.
He has had the kids for 10 years and has worked away from home all but maybe just over one year.
I live with my boyfriend and i work 4 nights a week 7pm-7am and I am off every other weekend.

Does this help?

[Dogmatique]

So nothing has changed?

Here's the problem. To change custody you need to show that there is a substantial change of circumstances and that it's so substantial that it warrants a change in custody. Their wanting to live with you doesn't meet that burden. There's also the issue of you working - you're working 12 hour shifts, and you work every other weekend so you're not actually going to be home for much of their downtime. There would be no case of there being one parent home full time. You're also wanting to relocate them to a new state when they're already settled and established where Dad lives, including school and friends and everything they know.


Sorry, but unless Dad agrees to this I don't see it happening.

(what about the other child, out of interest?)

[donijo23]

Even if the children want to come. They would see me everyday. My youngest is 9. I was told there is no way they would let her come.
My oldest is extremely unhappy. She was cutting at 12 so that she didnt fight with her step-mother. She deals with the step-mother calling her stupid, a b...., and the daily drinking. I do not see this as a good situation.
So if their father says no, what steps I would I have to take? I cannot give up.

[Dogmatique]

If Dad says "no", as I previously mentioned you'll have to file to modify custody. You actually need valid reasons. Please tell me you haven't promised the girls that they can come live with you. Your daughter started cutting at 12 - but you did nothing about it then? Do you understand how that looks? Then, courts also don't like to separate siblings.

So start calling attorneys, and be prepared for a long, expensive fight with a result you might not like one bit.

[donijo23]

I didn't find out about the cutting until a year later when she confessed it to me, and she had already stopped.
I have not promised them anything except that I would try. They know that we will more than likely have to go to court and that they will have to speak to a judge. They also know that they dont like to seperate siblings, and that will be hard. I want to have all of them and will ask for that.

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I also cannot afford a long expensive fight. Is there any type of legal aid avaliable in Arkansas that i could use?

[llworking]

If Dad says "no", as I previously mentioned you'll have to file to modify custody. You actually need valid reasons. Please tell me you haven't promised the girls that they can come live with you. Your daughter started cutting at 12 - but you did nothing about it then? Do you understand how that looks? Then, courts also don't like to separate siblings.

So start calling attorneys, and be prepared for a long, expensive fight with a result you might not like one bit.

I think that I disagree with you on this one Pro. The children are not actually living with dad, they are living with stepmom and seeing dad once a month or so.

So what is more in the best interest of the children? Seeing any parent once a month? Or seeing at least one parent every day but being supervised by that parent's significant other overnight 4 nights a week? Neither situation is ideal, but I am leaning in the favor of seeing at least one of their parents every day.

Also, I am unclear about the custody situation. From what she described its possible that custody was never formally established.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Is there something I can do from the state of Florida?

If your ex-husband won't agree to modify custody, as it appears from your post that the present custody order is out of Arkansas and it is beyond question that Arkansas is the children's home state, you would need to litigate your case in Arkansas. It would help if you would clarify the facts surrounding the present custody and support order. Realistically speaking, you should anticipate the need to hire a lawyer in Arkansas, and to travel to Arkansas for certain court hearings and, if necessary, a trial.

We had papers drawn up and notarized of what I would pay a month and that he would have a job where he was at home. That never happened. When I tried to call a lawyer they told me that a notarized paper will not hold up.

The notarized papers are irrelevant. The key questions at the moment are (a) what does the present custody order say, and (b) what is the status quo arrangement that is actually followed by the parties.

He has had the kids for 10 years and has worked away from home all but maybe just over one year.

Is that something that is likely to continue for the indefinite future, or is it something that is likely to end within the foreseeable future due to the nature of his work? If he senses that a court might modify custody based upon his work-related travel, what are the odds that he'll change back to a schedule that allows him to work from home or to be home on a much more frequent basis?

I also cannot afford a long expensive fight. Is there any type of legal aid available in Arkansas that i could use?

You can certainly contact legal aid services to see what help is available, but be aware that they tend to be overloaded and thus able to provide services only in cases that meet stringent criteria for assets and facts (e.g., many prioritize cases that involve domestic violence, and have little time left for cases that do not).

[Ohiogal]

So all you did was a notarized change and not an actual court order where the judge approved the notarized agreement? How often do you see the children now? How often have you seen them over the last few years? You split 11 years ago and your youngest is 9? Clarify that.