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  1. #1
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    Sep 2015
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    Default Remarrying After a Possibly Bigamous Marriage

    I was married to a guy I met while attending college (U of M) in Maryland. We dated for about 7 months and married the next year in June of 1967 in Alabama. We subsequently moved to his hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. I first became suspicious that he was married to someone else when his family hinted at him "being married again". They never clarified that description. I became further suspicious when he declined to file Federal taxes with me, but later described himself as "owing past taxes" and did not want to penalize me. I was quite young and naive at the time and he was much older. I gave birth to a son in 1968 and realized that something was amiss with him and around 1971 asked him to move out...he refused.

    Long story to say, I traveled back to my hometown in 1972 or 73 to seek counseling for a divorce. By this time it was rather conclusive to me that he had not divorced his first wife. The city was large enough that he could keep us separated, but there were lots of telltale signs. The lawyer in Alabama filed the divorce apparently through another lawyer in Maryland (as the papers were served in Maryland). He refused to acknowledge the papers, but I was told that the divorce would automatically be effective in 30 days.

    Now, that I am trying to marry my partner of 36 years, I can't seem to locate the divorce decree. I am not even sure it can be found. I called Alabama, and they do not have it in their files. Tomorrow I will contact Maryland's circuit courts. I thought that this situation might beg the question of the legitimacy of the original marriage and whether a divorce was needed in the first place. So, my questions are: Can I marry my partner in a few weeks given the scenario described above? Or, should I continue to pursue finding the divorce date in order to present this to the clerk when applying for a license?

    Thanks for your assistance in advance...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
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    18,340

    Default Re: Want to Marry My Long-Time Partner - Was Married to a Bigamist (Without Knowing)

    You mean you never followed up to make sure you got your divorce papers in hand?

    Yikes.

    Quote Quoting Degarthy
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    Or, should I continue to pursue finding the divorce date in order to present this to the clerk when applying for a license?
    1 - You have no PROOF that your first husband was married to anybody else. Just suspicion.

    2 - You have no PROOF that you were divorced.

    Defer your marriage until you find your divorce decree.

    If you can't find your decree, consult an attorney who might have better search methods.

    If you don't want to wait until tomorrow try using the Maryland Court Case Search feature tonight:

    http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us...uiry-index.jsp

    There's only a remote chance that a case that old would be on the computer but it's worth a try.

  3. #3
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    Sep 2015
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    12

    Default Re: Want to Marry My Long-Time Partner - Was Married to a Bigamist (Without Knowing)

    Adjusterjack,

    Thanks for your response. Here's my follow-up to your questions.

    1. I received my divorce decree; I moved several times and several documents were lost in that process. I just do not recall the year / month. It was over at least 42 years ago.
    2. I know that my husband was married at the time he married me; all of that came out later. That is what prompted my action to divorce him. The divorce papers were served and he refused to sign them. My lawyer indicated that the divorce would automatically go through after a period of 30 days.
    3. Base on my understanding of the law, if he was married, and I know he was, then it is possible that I may not need to pursue finding the divorce papers / decree as the marriage was void.
    4. My questions are primarily around item #3 in this reply.

    Kind Regards

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Want to Marry My Long-Time Partner - Was Married to a Bigamist (Without Knowing)

    Even after this much time, it's difficult to see how you would be unable to remember whether you filed your divorce case and appeared in court in Maryland or Alabama.

    Searching for divorce records in Alabama can be done through the Department of Vital Records for $15.

    Verification of divorce in Maryland may be obtained through the Department of Vital Statistics for $12.

    Nobody here is going to tell you to assume that your prior marriage was void, as you have expressed doubts about that assertion and we have no way to investigate that for you. If you're not certain that you were divorced and neither state has records of a completed divorce, you should get a divorce before you remarry.

  5. #5
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    Sep 2015
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    Default Re: Want to Marry My Long-Time Partner - Was Married to a Bigamist (Without Knowing)

    It seems that there are some misconceptions here.

    1. I filed for divorce in Alabama with my family lawyer, who processed it through an office in Maryland.
    2. I did not attend court.
    3. He (my ex-husband) was served with divorce papers.
    4. He did not sign them, but I was told the divorce would occur in 30 days.
    5. I received the divorce decree.
    6. It was lost in the process of moving years ago.
    7. He WAS married at the time he married me. He later told me so and his wife, at that time, told me the same thing when I encountered him. She later divorced him (20 years later to marry someone else).

    So, I am not asking you to tell me anything other than to question the legitimacy of a "marriage to someone already married". I believe his status of "being married" (AND HE WAS) invalidates our marriage in 1967.

    Thanks for your feedback. I have requested a decree from Maryland. The challenge is that I filed in Alabama and the lawyer forwarded the filing to Maryland. I did not go to court.

  6. #6
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    Jan 2015
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    1,142

    Default Re: Want to Marry My Long-Time Partner - Was Married to a Bigamist (Without Knowing)

    I had a long long ago divorce, back in the early 70's as yours was, and honestly think I never received the papers, to my knowledge I didn't. Perhaps my attorney did and just never gave them to me. Perhaps you could check with the attorney who handled the case for you. Or maybe you don't remember who that was either.

    Though I didn't ever need the official papers, since I didn't change my name with social security or on any major paperwork, I could darn sure work out a year and a month when it happened, and it was one of the questions that they did ask when I remarried several years later and we were obtaining the marriage license. They asked what number of marriage this was for you and what was the date of your divorce from your last past marriage. And when I said July, 1974, that was sufficient, they wrote that down, and things went forward.

    My first ex has married others since then (I bet he didn't save the paperwork for any of the divorces either) and my new marriage was valid that time, end of story. But if you get to the clerk's office and pull this "Uh, I'm so dumb I can't even guess the month and year when the divorce took place (though I'm sure I got one) and I've moved and lost the papers, and you see, I am sure my ex husband was married already when he married me so the marriage never was legal anyway...." they aren't going to issue you another marriage license.

    What I did not have to do, in both the two states I have been married in since my first divorce, is present those papers to obtain another marriage license and neither did my previously married next two spouses have to show the actual paperwork from their past divorces. But give a ball park date it happened? Yes, we did that. Come on, you can figure this out if it really happened. How old was your child? Where were you living? Working? I am NOT telling you to lie, I am just saying that if you can come up with the month and year, this may be sufficient. If you can't, you're probably lying.

    A story about how you moved and lost the paperwork and you're unable to provide dates when it might have happened and all this rigamarole about how your first husband was a bigamist would raise red flags all over the place. If I were a county clerk, I'd demand those divorce papers from you immediately or no new license.

  7. #7
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    Sep 2015
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    Default Re: Remarrying After a Possibly Bigamous Marriage

    I just spoke to my ex-husband and he confirmed that he was indeed married to someone else in 1967 when he married me. She finally got a divorce about 15 years ago.

    So, the question remains.... Do I need to worry with pursuing a "divorce decree"?

    Regards,
    Degarthy

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ator,

    Your post has been most helpful. I have just been overwhelmed with anxiety, but now remember that my son was 3 years old. I used that as a reference point for the divorce many years. So, it must have been in 1971. As to the month, I know it was warm, so I am going to use July, 1971. If I hear back from the Archival company in Maryland, I will have more specifics. But, my ex-husband, whom I just spoke with in Baltimore, confirmed that he was still married in 1967 when he married me.

    Thanks,
    Degarthy

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Remarrying After a Possibly Bigamous Marriage

    If you want to be certain that your remarriage is not going to cause you problems, you will (a) find proof of your divorce (and if neither state can provide it through their vital records services, it didn't happen), (b) get a divorce, or (c) get an annulment.

    Problems can arise during your life, when records could potentially show you as married to two people. Problems can continue after your husband dies, when an heir to his estate decides to attack your marriage as bigamous in order to try to deny you an inheritance or any spousal rights.

    I know you want us to say, "Go ahead and remarry, no sweat", but that would not be responsible. If you want, you can go hire a lawyer and try to get him to document such a statement for you in an opinion letter.

  9. #9
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    Sep 2015
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    12

    Default Re: Remarrying After a Possibly Bigamous Marriage

    Have already requested the divorce decree. I remember receiving the papers and celebrating alone at home. I was divorced in 1971, the month (tbd). I am satisfied that my marriage was null and void, but will receive the information from the court as proof.

    My ex has moved on with his life and acknowledges, further confirmation today, that he was indeed married, should not have married me at the time and is in his own relationship.

    Thanks for everyone's feedback.

    Degarthy

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Remarrying After a Possibly Bigamous Marriage

    As I said, you were fishing for somebody here to tell you that all is fine and dandy.

    It's remarkable that you are too stubborn or too lazy to make the modest investment to obtain definitive documentation of your divorce, or to confirm that the state has no record of the divorce (i.e., that you didn't divorce). It's remarkable how little you care about the impact of your decisions on others.

    If all you recall about your divorce is getting a document in the mail, but neither you nor your spouse ever appeared in court, you should expect that further investigation will reveal that the divorce was not finalized and that's why there's no record.

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