What Are the Possible Legal Issues from Having Children Around a New Love Interest

[0siris]

My apologies in advance if this should be in another subforum, but I thought this would be the most fitting place. So here is the situation: I am dating a woman with two children, ages 8 and 5, and have been for about 8 months. Now, her husband has moved out, sometime around the first part of January 2015, but they are still not at this time legally separated, nor have either of them consulted with an attorney about how to proceed. That issue is a different one entirely, so I won't get into any more than that. As of now, I have only met her children one time, and that was at the gym that she and I both attend, and it was done as if I were just her friend. We have never done anything remotely "intimate" (kissing, hugging, holding hands) in front of the children, and that has been at my insistence. Since the beginning of our relationship, I have insisted that I shouldn't meet her children under the pretense of she and I being romantically involved until she speaks to an attorney and finds out exactly what she can and cannot do around her kids, and who she can and cannot have around them while they are still legally married and eventually separated/divorced. I don't think I am wrong for insisting on that, but she won't talk to an attorney and ask them for a definitive answer. And seeing as how I can't speak to a lawyer on her behalf, I'm coming to this legal community for advice. Now, in my own mind, morality dictates that she and I keep our relationship just between us until there is at least a separation agreement in place that clearly defines the "rules" regarding having new boyfriends/girlfriends around the children. My question is this: Are there legal ramifications for having a romantic interest around children without the presence of a legal separation, and if so, what are those ramifications? I would like to be able to be around her children, seeing as how she and I have very little time together as it is. But I'm certainly not going to be around them if she or I could potentially face legal consequences, and most certainly not if it doesn't take into account the best interests of the children. Thank you for the advice, and if need be I can provide more information if it is needed. This is all taking place in North Carolina by the way. That's probably relevant.

[adjusterjack]

Are there legal ramifications for having a romantic interest around children without the presence of a legal separation, and if so, what are those ramifications?

There are none.

In these days of no-fault divorce and the moral decay of our society, you can have whatever kind of relationship with her and her kids that she or you want.

If it was me, though, I wouldn't go near her or her kids until she or her husband has filed for divorce.

Getting emotionally involved with a married woman who hasn't committed to a divorce is more trouble than it's worth.

[llworking]

There are none.

That really depends on the state that he is in. In many states dad could rush to court to establish child custody orders and get a no paramour clause.

In these days of no-fault divorce and the moral decay of our society, you can have whatever kind of relationship with her and her kids that she or you want.

If it was me, though, I wouldn't go near her or her kids until she or her husband has filed for divorce.

Getting emotionally involved with a married woman who hasn't committed to a divorce is more trouble than it's worth.

I agree with all of that, and will add, that being around the children can seriously inflame the situation with the children's father. While that can also happen after the divorce, having that happen before the divorce seriously complicates the divorce.

[Mercy&Grace]

If she isn't serious enough about divorcing to talk to an attorney but you are serious enough to ask these questions, that tells me you are way more serious about her than she is you. Do you think she could be using you to make her husband jealous? Also if her husband hasn't filed for divorce, maybe the marriage isn't over and they may get back together. All you know is what she tells you and she may not be being honest with you.

[Dogmatique]

There are none.

In these days of no-fault divorce and the moral decay of our society, you can have whatever kind of relationship with her and her kids that she or you want.

If it was me, though, I wouldn't go near her or her kids until she or her husband has filed for divorce.

Getting emotionally involved with a married woman who hasn't committed to a divorce is more trouble than it's worth.

I also agree the most of this - but yes, having a paramour can have major ramifications in custody matters to the point where, if all else is equal, custody can actually be decided based on one parent who has an overnight paramour versus the parent who does not even after legal separation.

North Carolina is a tough place to get divorced if you're not living "clean", as they say.

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If she isn't serious enough about divorcing to talk to an attorney but you are serious enough to ask these questions, that tells me you are way more serious about her than she is you. Do you think she could be using you to make her husband jealous? Also if her husband hasn't filed for divorce, maybe the marriage isn't over and they may get back together. All you know is what she tells you and she may not be being honest with you.

And I agree with this, too.

The OP mentioned "an issue", which presumably explains why the couple haven't yet decided anything. There are only two reasons I can think of that would justify living apart without filing for anything ...

[Ohiogal]

NC is one of the few states that still allow alienation of affection suits. They are beginning to fall out of favor but OP could find himself sued by the husband in a civil case. He definitely shouldn't be involved with this woman if she is NOT divorcing. That is just asking for all sorts of trouble.