Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Pennsylvania/NY . My daughter is 7 years old and she comes to visit me in the summer and tells me that she doesn't want to go back to NY where she resides with her father. I proceeded to ask her why and she tells me that she get beat to the point where she get bruises on her bottom and can not sit by her father and that the girlfriend grips her arm so hard that sometimes she leaves scratches on her arm. I ask her if she wants to live with me she tells me yes. But her father had mentioned to her that if when she is with me and she goes to a court house and tell them she want to live with me that "he will beat the shit out of her". My daughter if terrified to go back to NY. She was hyperventilating while telling me this. He father coaches her on what to say to the counselors. She's told me she's gotten in trouble by her father for telling them how she felt. So she lies to them cause her father makes her. Shes also mentioned to me she's witnessed her father cheating on the current girlfriend with the old girlfriend and her father telling her to not say anything. She said she's witnessed her father beat on his girlfriend. I'm just wanting to know if there is anyway we can get a restraining order aagainst him and for me to get custody of her?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent

    You need to report the alleged abuse to CPS.

    You will not get custody based on an allegation; you won't get a restraining order easily either. But you do need to act upon the allegations.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    California
    Posts
    77

    Default Re: Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent

    This is not a restraining order issue, it's a 911 call. When if your daughter comes home with bruises and is hyperventilating then you need to get her to a doctor ASAP. All doctors are mandatory reporters and they will alert the police as well you should too.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting christielyn
    View Post
    This is not a restraining order issue, it's a 911 call. When if your daughter comes home with bruises and is hyperventilating then you need to get her to a doctor ASAP. All doctors are mandatory reporters and they will alert the police as well you should too.
    Much as I agree, the OP didn't state that the child came to her with bruises. She stated that the child told her Dad hit her until she bruised; I suspect the child was bruise-free when Mom picked her up from Dad's.

    I also suspect something else is happening here though and it has less to do with the child's welfare than it has to do with custody.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,123

    Default Re: Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent

    Quote Quoting vb87
    View Post
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Pennsylvania/NY . My daughter is 7 years old and she comes to visit me in the summer and tells me that she doesn't want to go back to NY where she resides with her father. I proceeded to ask her why and she tells me that she get beat to the point where she get bruises on her bottom and can not sit by her father and that the girlfriend grips her arm so hard that sometimes she leaves scratches on her arm. I ask her if she wants to live with me she tells me yes. But her father had mentioned to her that if when she is with me and she goes to a court house and tell them she want to live with me that "he will beat the shit out of her". My daughter if terrified to go back to NY. She was hyperventilating while telling me this. He father coaches her on what to say to the counselors. She's told me she's gotten in trouble by her father for telling them how she felt. So she lies to them cause her father makes her. Shes also mentioned to me she's witnessed her father cheating on the current girlfriend with the old girlfriend and her father telling her to not say anything. She said she's witnessed her father beat on his girlfriend. I'm just wanting to know if there is anyway we can get a restraining order aagainst him and for me to get custody of her?
    One of the worst things that you can do is to ask your daughter if she wants to live with you.

    In one scenario she is likely to tell you what she thinks you want to hear...even if its not entirely the truth.

    In another scenario it gives her false hope that just saying that she wants to live with you can solve the abuse problems.

    In even another scenario it could give her a false sense of power.

    An example of a better answer would be to say "if you are absolutely telling me the truth, I will try to see what I can do to make things better"

    Then you call CPS and talk to them.

    The serious problem that exists is that many parents use CPS as an attempt to change custody, when in all reality no real abuse or neglect (under the definition of the law) actually exists. They do not necessarily do it on purpose, but its not uncommon for them to question their children to the point that the children say what they think that parent wants to hear even if its not true. Unfortunately that happens often enough that children who are really being abused or neglected are not taken seriously.

    Your job, as a parent, is to make sure that you are not making false accusations...but not ignoring abuse either. That you need to truly listen to your children but to also make sure that you are asking enough questions, and in the right way, to ensure that you are not feeding into manipulation by your child or causing your child to tell you what you want to hear.

    The worst scenario I ever observed was two parents who managed to change custody every two or three years based on accusations of abuse. Neither of them were actually abusive or neglectful but they had very differing parenting styles which resulted in false accusations.

    In one household the child was the youngest, and therefore had no sibling responsibilities. In the other household the child was the oldest and was expected to have a great deal of sibling responsibilities.

    Bottom line...you need to make sure that you truly understand what is going on in your child's life.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Establishment: Can a Child Get Protective Orders Against an Abusive Custodial Parent
    By vb87 in forum Orders of Protection
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 08-25-2015, 04:54 AM
  2. Court Proceedings: Changing Custody After Protective Services Removes a Child from the Custodial Parent
    By rae1972 in forum Abuse and Neglect
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-21-2013, 12:54 PM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: Custodial Parent's Rights When Non-Custodial Parent Doesn't Follow Custody Orders
    By Selany in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-19-2012, 11:53 PM
  4. Violation & Enforcement: Child Protective Orders
    By Polska65 in forum Orders of Protection
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-22-2011, 09:09 AM
  5. How to Keep the Custodial Parent's Abusive Boyfriend Away from Our Child
    By Curtis31 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-08-2010, 06:41 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources