In hindsight Im not so sure that every young person who gets married in an uncles home is aware of a valid marriage license or certificate is in place ?
It might be that the time window to raise an issue only starts when one discovers there is a problem . In theory one knows what is a matter of public record..but in it never got there then that by itself may not have started the clock....far beyond me...get local counsel
Zero odds in my book to reverse past payments ...but perhaps not zero as to future ones .
The military counterpart of a QDRO is full of its own special rules ...and perhaps there is a way to undo an order as to person who is unable to show they were in fact the spouse at the times in question

