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Insubordination my hind foot! This is NOT insubordination. Insubordination is a term some people around here just love to throw around. What you are being asked to do...just tell them no. Tell them you would choose not to discuss this issue. Let the chips fall. If they are stupid enough to fire you for this reason, which I do not for one minute believe HR would allow them to do, then you will qualify for unemployment benefits. You're right you do NOT have to obey orders from any supervisor that are not work related. These people are bullying you, and you need to just let them rant. They have no power here except what every supervisor has over employees, the right to terminate, but HR does have one whole lot of authority in saying what a person can be terminated for. If you are terminated for not a valid work related misconduct reason, (and failing to disclose who is gossiping about some affair the boss is supposedly having is NOT misconduct) then you can still be fired, in this "at will" employment world, but it's unusual. You'll probably qualify for unemployment benefits, which is always your recourse in these type situations, and this will cost the employer money.