Quote Quoting Lvpor
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That's right it wasn't mine.

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I used the guidelines as a reference. She is 7 and hasn't spent much extended time away from me. Even the 2 weeks pushed it and she cried the last 4 nights. Obviously next summer would hopefully be easier for her. I used them as a reference but not every kid benefits from one plan.

I read Oregon doesn't give joint legal custody without both parents agreement. Am I wrong in that?

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Sorry I keep adding. I'm not opposed to changing the order. The only reason it's only my say is because he didn't join in the discussion. I was more worried about being dragged into court.
I moved my daughter and family to be closer to him. Just because we stopped seeing eye to eye doesn't make him any less important to her wellbeing.
We spent so long making it work but I still think having a set plan will avoi arguments. They are healthy at all for anyone.
You are correct. A set plan/enforceable court order is generally better for everyone, including the child. However, some people simply cannot stand to be "scheduled". My ex is one of those people. However, he works well with a schedule if its a schedule that ends up happening by more or less morphing into it.

He and I were constantly going at it because he simply could not be on time to pick up our child on the weekends. He usually picked her up for the day on Saturdays. He would tell me that he would be there at 10:00 AM and I would still be calling him sometimes at 2:00 in the afternoon trying to figure out where he was.

Finally I told him that I generally ran errands on Saturday and I usually waited until after he picked up the child to do so. I told him that if I just knew that he was going to be picking her up later in the day I could go ahead and run my errands and take her with me. His reaction was kind of priceless...LOL. He got this dumbfounded look on his face and said "you mean you really don't care when I pick her up, you just want to know when so you can arrange your day?" After that he always let me know exactly when and always showed up within a few minutes of when he said he would be there.