My question involves restraining orders in the State of: CA
I have a friend who was with her boyfriend for some time (my friend is very young.......she was 15 when they first met......there is a 9 year age difference)
- I knew this guy was bad news but you know how it is......young people dont want to hear those things......we stayed friend....the parents never knew the age difference between the two.
- She got pregnant last year......and they immediately got married.
- She moved out of state with him and within about 3 months of moving away from friends and family the true colors started coming out.....constant mental abuse.....constant cheating on her.....and curiously while he never physically hit her he would try to convince his FRIENDS to hurt her when he got mad at her.....she almost got thrown down stairs by one of his friends and she left him shortly after that and went back to her parents.
- Boyfriend has documented PTSD from the military
- Boyfriend has documented 51-50 in his medical records
- So my friend comes home to have baby at her parents house (I know that it killed her to do that.....she always felt that her parents would never forgive her for what she did......but she bit the bullett and went home.
- So now the short time husband ex boyfriend files paperwork for divorce. My friend had every intention of allowing dad visitation because she was going to need child support to take care of her daughter
- I watched as my friend went through the final 2 months of her pregnancy constantly harrassed by the the man......I finally told her you need to call the police and at least have them come statement as his wording become more and more abusive and threatening. He filed 3 separate ex partay hearings in the final stages of her pregancy when she could barely move around that finally made the call.
- The police officer said the filing of the hears was a form of harrassment that he commonly saw.....that the hearings are filed to mentally torment even though the court would always in the end deny them.
- The police officer came to her house and told her that she needed to file for a restraining order and that there was enough justification to do that.
- The police officer then called the man and told him to leave her alone and stop the harrassment and that she would be filing a restraining order
- AFTER THAT PHONE CALL the man tracked her and her dad down at the town courthouse and shoved divorce paperwork at her
- Her temp restraining order was denied
- I told her at that point that she really needed to get a lawyer because once the man found out the temp was denied he picked up his harrassment even worse....trashing her to all of her friends....calling and testing several times a day (none of which was returned by my friend) basically forcing her off of social media because of bad mouthing he was doing to her. She has become very isolated except to her best friends and family.
- She started having bad complications with her pregnancy I am positive it was due to the stress.
- She says that she doesnt want to ask her parents for money and goes to her own restraining hearing by herself. THe judge denies it.
- Things get worse....the judge orders the man to stay away while she is having her baby she goes into labor almost immediately after the restraining order hearing.
- Family are forced to camp out at the hospital because the man gets as close as the hospital will allow to her room and even continues to try to work his way into the room through the staff. Man confronts all of her friend (including me) coming to support her at the hospital and gets very angry when people refuse to give him information Once the baby is born she is barely able to try to take of the baby as he is demanding equal time. throughout the day.
- The baby is sick when born and is transferred to a hospital with a better ICU...this particular hospital has a social worker on staff and a police station right next door.
- Within the span of 3 days the dad has threatened the social worker, the hospital staff, has left on his own (nearly dropping the baby on the floor because he was angry) and was escorted out by police the second time. The social worker has filed a full report on all this (takes 10 days for it to be made available) and the director of the hospital called Child Protection Services because the hospital fears he might try to take the baby when it leaves the hospital.
- Social Worker did an interview with both my friend and the man and has assessed that the man is mentally unstable, does not really care about the child, and seems more interested in harrassing my friend. The man became angry when the social worker told him that she did not think it was a good idea they were at the hospital together and was trying to set up a separate schedule for my friend to breastfeed the baby and him to visit. THe first day he bacame angry and left, the second day he told the social worker he wasnt leaving and threatened the social worker and the staff and was escorted out by police.
- Meanwhile my friend finally accepted help from her parents and hired a lawyer they get reattempted to get a temp restraining order with the help of the lawyer which was denied again (same judge. That judge told them in the first restraining order hearing that if the man was ever in front of him for the same reason the restraining order would be approved the 2nd time (I dont know if that meant the temp or the actual court hearing for restraining order)
- Now she will have a lawyer with her when she goes to court for the perm restraining order and for the divorce/custody hearing. This makes her feel a little better because she has been so mentally beat down for all of this.
A long story.....sorry.....I have been my friends shoulder to cry on and its almost like I am going through this with her. WHat I would like to know is....why would a temp restraining order (that a policement told her to go file for to begin with) be denied twice when the man is obviously quick to anger unstable, and is taking a lot of fun in mentally torturing this young person? Now she still has her day in court and no one has seen the hospital's social worker statement because that just happened.
It was almost like the judge took the side of the man.....and yes the man can talk a good game while my friend sat their all intimidated and clammed up in front of the judge. He made it seem like he was going to school and was an upstanding citizen so the judge asked my friend if he had ever hit her. My friend doesnt want to lie or stretch the truth so she said no.