When to Expect a Hearing on a Custody Case

[Dogmatique]

No, you can't call or write to the judge.

He needs to keep on with his attorney - I understand your concern, but all he can do right now is wait.

[pwiley]

Does he keep placing calls to Gal and his attorney......or back off and wait for them to get in touch with him? I just worry if too much time goes on that the court will feel he has adjusted to his new environment/routine and should stay where he is....I have lost his mom...a woman I loved very much. The grandmother does not correspond with me ( I am sure on the advice of their counsel) so I have lost touch with how my grandson is doing...and that saddens me.

[pwiley]

Since my last post I have written to son's atty in SC. I did receive a rather unprofessional response directing me to NOT send copy of my emails to her to the GAL. She also said if my son had done what she advised him to do...he would not be in this situation. Her advise was (before he became her client) was to get copy of birth certificate, + I'D, drive to SC and take his son from the grandparents. My son thought this would be too traumatic for son. She went on to tell me that my role was to support him emotionally and financially while he was on a "quest" to get his son. Her last words were for him to go to SC to visit son...and stay out of trouble. All we are asking for is an email, phone call or anything telling us what is going in? How ars we doing? What communication is going on between lawyers, etc. I do not think that is unreasonable. What other options ars there? Should he speak to a lawyer in Maine? Any sound legal advice would be appreciated. I feel lawyer,'s conduct is inexcusable.

[Dogmatique]

She's actually right - you yourself can only do so much, and I get the impression that the attorney is thinking that you could actually hurt your son's case rather than help him.

What she's also saying is that had he simply gone to pick up the child, the grandparents would have a far less likely shot at custody. As it stands, assuming the grandparents have him, they do have a bit of an edge even though this isn't a parent vs. parent situation.

Did we establish how often your son had been around his son before Mom's death?

[pwiley]

Mother took son and moved to SC when he was 6 mos....so he had not seen him for 2 years. He paid child support every month up until her death. I admit I was wrong in sending copy of email to GAL but they need to understand how stressful this has been. Son plans on going to SC first of Sept to see son. The longer grandson lives with them...I am afraid the less of a chance my son has of gaining custody. Let's not forget parents in late 50's....mother has cancer...father lost license to practice medicine for Medicaid fraud and applying for controlled drug permit while under suspension.

[Dogmatique]

There are more than a few parents on the various legal forums who haven't even started parenting until well into their mid, and late, 40s.

Grandma having cancer won't be an issue unless she actually becomes unable to care for the child and Grandpa can't do it alone. Parents get sick - it's only in relatively rare circumstances that children will be pulled from their home because of a parent's illness.

Grandpa's loss of medical license isn't going to be an issue either - and I'd bet dollars to donuts the controlled drug permit while under suspension will be swept away as a misunderstanding (and to be fair, it might just be a serious misunderstanding).

The problem is that the child is safe and secure. Your son's rights do, by far, outweigh those of the grandparents simply because he is the father and they're a third party - but the one thing that he has against him is unfortunately a HUGE issue and that's his lack of contact prior to this point. You and I both know that had your son spent just a bit more time and effort, tracking down Mom and enforcing visitation wouldn't have been that difficult and you wouldn't have to be asking on his behalf to begin with.

As it stands this is a very young little boy who doesn't know his father. The only security he knows is with his grandparents. What I'm more concerned about in terms of the legal ramifications is the silence of the GAL. We're now 2 months after the GAL left the impression that the report would be submitted. So... has the report been submitted? What's happening with the grandparents' custody petition?

I do think your son needs an attorney. I also think he needs to be moving to SC.

[Mercy&Grace]

Even though it doesn't matter, I thought grandpa was just barred from Medicaid as opposed to losing.his license to.practice medicine.

[pwiley]

Thank you for your honest opinions about our case. I am, however, now less hopeful that the judgement will be awarded to my son.

[Dogmatique]

Thank you for your honest opinions about our case. I am, however, now less hopeful that the judgement will be awarded to my son.

You're his parent - you probably have way more influence over him than anyone else on the planet.... do whatever you can to persuade him to take care of his business.

I know it seems very unfair to you, but if I'm brutally honest it does seem that you're far more interested than he is and we can't really dispute that going from no custody and effectively no child to full custody and a lifetime of responsibility is going to be something of a culture shock for him. But if he truly does feel that the child is doing great with the grandparents, he needs to ask himself some very serious questions. Is it in the child's best interest to move him from the home he knows, to another state? Would he be okay with the grandparents having regular visitation?

There's no wrong answer. Saying "Yes" is fine, and saying "No" is also fine. It's just that your son needs to do some very deep soul-searching of his own so he can make the best decision.

Y'know?

[pwiley]

You hit the button right on. I have thought what you said many times myself. There are no winners in this battle. I do want what is best for my grandson...but I think them having him call mama and Dada is disrespectful to their daughter.