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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Posts
    1

    Default Spousal Support After a Lengthy Separation

    My question involves a marriage in the state of:Illinois
    My husband and I have been separated for over 5 years and living apart. Never legally separated! He was the one who left me. I wanted reconciliation for over a year until the verbal abuse got to be too much. When he left their were outstanding debts and obligations, which I eventually paid off and handled. Took on a second job and worked my butt off--to the point I now have a IRS tax bill for underpaid taxes for three years. I have 2 children, which of 1 child is his. The children are now emancipated, however when he originally left me, our son was 17 years. During the time of separation, we were in communication with each other and had a "ok" relationship. We talked about how our lives were going.
    Well, I finally decided to file for divorce-(prose). He originally signed a uncontested divorce and it was filed with the court. He later amended the papers asking for his name be removed from the house; (BTW-- the loan is upside down and if I were to sell it I would still owe the bank!); asking for $200/month in spousal support for 4 years; asking for me to retain ownership of his life insurance policy and he chooses the beneficiary- (meaning I continue to pay the premiums!); and had of my pension, (he did offer me had of his!). He then cut off all contact. Well, I don't know the law, I retained a lawyer. The lawyer, basically said, give him what he is asking for. It would cost me more in the long run to fight it. I offered everything but half pension, I offered 25% and he would keep all of his. Although he depleted his 401k. We drew up the papers and had them ready on the day of court.

    Well, he then decided he wanted to retain a lawyer. He then proceeded to amended his paper again. Citing adultery with multiple paramours and extreme mental cruelty during the marriage. That he had a comfortable life provided solely based on my income during the marriage- lies!!! He claiming dissipation of the marital assets by Claiming I'm spending marital assets on my multiple paramours. Requesting temporary support of $7500 in his legally fees, so they can see how deep the dissipation goes! Permanent spousal support, half of all my assets. And barring me from ever seeking spousal support from him! The marital assets include my back account! The only thing of value is my pension.

    So background.... I am a nurse and during the marriage I have made more than him. We have been legally married for 19 years. But he inherited rental property that we eventually refinance together. So there was the added rental income to him. He also has worked for cash in security paying jobs. But the way we ran our marital home was that I paid the Mortgage and he paid utilities. Other household expenses were always divided equally, Like car insurance and groceries. Whatever needed home repairs were were handled by both incomes. During the entire time of our marriage we NEVER, had a joint bank account of any kind. --- thank god he left all his papers and I have proof of him repeatedly paying home bills out of his account. My name is the only name on the bank loan for the home, although his name is on the title.

    Meanwhile, during the separation! I've handled all home improvements myself, I'm the sole supported of our son, including college tuition payments- which he is still in! My income has increase due to a second job, that I was forced to take to compensate for his departure.
    My spouse has completed school and got his MBA. Been a adjunct professor at a junior college; still works his cash paying jobs. Although, he recently was let go of a position and had to fall back to doing a security Job, which only pays minimum wage. He is still actively looking for employment and I believe his situation is temporary!

    Mind you, we've been separated for over 5 and half years and he never needed support from me. He was able to move into a condo in a affluent neighborhood and purchase a new car. Taken several vacations. He's had girlfriend and lived his life like a single man and I've done the same. I have a attorney, but my multiple emails to him probably bordered on the crazy side. All he says, " you have been separated for over 5 years-correct. We're working on your answer. Meanwhile, I'm a wreck and worried about my lifestyle, I've just gotten to a point where I'm somewhat financial comfortable. Our next court day is a month away. What can I expect?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Divorce

    You've lived apart for 5 years which is ample proof that he doesn't need spousal support. Listen to your attorney, and try to keep everything short and concise.

    There is no way this man should be awarded spousal support in these circumstances.

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