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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
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    13

    Default Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    I'll try to make a long story as short and concise as possible.

    My brother-in-law's ex wife has custody over their son. He is in the military stationed in VA. She lives in CA. My brother-in-law is currently in the hospital, and has been for over a week, awaiting a temporary change of duty orders to come to CA to go to a facility here for therapy treatments.

    While in the hospital last week, he was trying to set up one of his 10-day visitations over the phone with her for when he is out here in CA. She informed him that she filed a TRO against him protecting herself, son, and boyfriend so he could not have any visitations with their son until after the court date if the court allowed it. She also informed him that she will not respond to any communication from him. He has not been served, and we were unable to find any public records showing a TRO yesterday. We do not know when she filed a TRO, if she did.

    In addition to this, she sent a text message to my brother-in-laws sister, mother, and father, all of whom are able to pick up her son for visitation on the first weekend of every month in the event that my brother-in-law can't use his visitation that month under court order. The text message told everyone that she filed a TRO against my brother-in law protecting her, their son, and her boyfriend so she will be cancelling our visitations as well until after the court date depending on the court ruling and will not respond to any of our communications as well.

    As I understand it, a TRO is not valid until he is served. We have seen no record of their being a TRO case number or court date filed against him under public records. How long does it take for a TRO to show up under public records? What can we do when she refuses to speak with anyone, and is going against the court order before anyone has been served?

    Can she stop visitation with his family even though the TRO is only against him? We believe she can't as the alleged TRO says nothing about his family, and the court ordered visitation states that they get visitation in the event he doesn't for the month.

    Any insight/help is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    18,340

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    Obviously she CAN do it if she IS doing it.

    Whether she's doing it wrongly is up to a court to decide.

    Since she's shutting off communications his best course of action is to hire an attorney and get this into court to get it resolved.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    988

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    She can invent any rules she wants until somebody calls her bluff and let's a judge decide.
    I'm not up on the rules of service of a TRO....and what options exist in addition to personal service which apparently was not made.
    I have no clue why a TRO against person A has any bearing as to court ordered rights given to B,C, or D other than in her bully power. B,C,D may be in a position to perition court for her to be had in contempt of the order.
    How one can get a TRO against somebody who is not even there is hard to,follow...but there have been other posts about the apparent easy of getting TROs by women in CA to frustrate the visitation rights of Dad.
    Dad is better off to use counsel ....sorry no simple,suggestions .
    .

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    Quote Quoting Proc. Eng.
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CA

    I'll try to make a long story as short and concise as possible.

    My brother-in-law's ex wife has custody over their son. He is in the military stationed in VA. She lives in CA. My brother-in-law is currently in the hospital, and has been for over a week, awaiting a temporary change of duty orders to come to CA to go to a facility here for therapy treatments.

    While in the hospital last week, he was trying to set up one of his 10-day visitations over the phone with her for when he is out here in CA. She informed him that she filed a TRO against him protecting herself, son, and boyfriend so he could not have any visitations with their son until after the court date if the court allowed it. She also informed him that she will not respond to any communication from him. He has not been served, and we were unable to find any public records showing a TRO yesterday. We do not know when she filed a TRO, if she did.

    In addition to this, she sent a text message to my brother-in-laws sister, mother, and father, all of whom are able to pick up her son for visitation on the first weekend of every month in the event that my brother-in-law can't use his visitation that month under court order. The text message told everyone that she filed a TRO against my brother-in law protecting her, their son, and her boyfriend so she will be cancelling our visitations as well until after the court date depending on the court ruling and will not respond to any of our communications as well.

    As I understand it, a TRO is not valid until he is served. We have seen no record of their being a TRO case number or court date filed against him under public records. How long does it take for a TRO to show up under public records? What can we do when she refuses to speak with anyone, and is going against the court order before anyone has been served?

    Can she stop visitation with his family even though the TRO is only against him? We believe she can't as the alleged TRO says nothing about his family, and the court ordered visitation states that they get visitation in the event he doesn't for the month.

    Any insight/help is appreciated.
    Its questionable whether or not the order to allow his family to exercise his visitation if he cannot is even valid/enforceable. Normally a third party (like a grandparent or aunt/uncle) would have to file a separate action for visitation and be awarded visitation on the merits of that case in order for that to be possible. If that did not happen, then the judge basically played a bit fast and loose with his/her court orders, and may not be able to enforce them.

    What event happened that caused mom to file for a TRO against dad?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    It might be that the third parties don't actually have visitation of their own - but do have permission to get the child if Dad isn't able to do so.

    L asked the most important question - what happened?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    So Cal
    Posts
    854

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    Under California law the deployed / relocated parent can seek a judicial order granting visitation rights to family members. If the order was written to allow for family members to exercise visitation while dad is on the east coast that isn't an abuse of judicial power. The family members aren't required to file a separate action.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    I have no idea why she is filing for a TRO. She has tried every avenue she possibly can to both prevent my brother-in-law and everyone on our side of the family from interacting with their son in any way/shape/form. She has filed many motions against him to rack up legal fees he has to pay as well. She even somehow racked up over $26k in legal fees when they revisited their custody agreement, but the judge only made him pay a couple thousand of that as he thought it was unreasonable. She has a huge trust fund from before they got married, so she is using it to hurt him financially. She even filed a motion to revisit alimony/child support because she didn't think she was getting enough when he bought plane tickets to see his son before.

    It is entirely possible he sent a nasty text or two, but I guarantee he didn't just start harassing her via text out of nowhere. She has been entirely spiteful through this whole ordeal. She didn't even let him talk to family when they were married and would throw away any gifts anyone sent for their son.

    I do know they have been through a couple custody battles, and every time a judge thought that we should get visitation when my brother-in-law couldn't because he lives so far away. He only gets minimal custody for that reason alone. Our visitation was reduced at the last court date, but not removed. We do not get visitation on any month that he does.

    I hope this is all relatively easy to follow.

    - - - Updated - - -

    That makes sense. Thank you for explaining that.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    So, there could actually be a legitimate reason for the TRO.

    There isn't much your brother can do right now but I promise you this: if she keeps pulling this crap without a good reason, she's going to be very, very unhappy when the court decides enough is enough.

    I'm talking about switching custody.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting EA1070a
    View Post
    Under California law the deployed / relocated parent can seek a judicial order granting visitation rights to family members. If the order was written to allow for family members to exercise visitation while dad is on the east coast that isn't an abuse of judicial power. The family members aren't required to file a separate action.
    Yeeeah. Missed that. Mea culpa!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    So, there could actually be a legitimate reason for the TRO.

    There isn't much your brother can do right now but I promise you this: if she keeps pulling this crap without a good reason, she's going to be very, very unhappy when the court decides enough is enough.

    I'm talking about switching custody.

    - - - Updated - - -
    That's what we're hoping will happen. He won't be in the military for too much longer. He was planning on doing the full 20 years, but he has 2 college degrees since joining the military and would rather be closer to his son than stay in.

    I never said there wasn't any reason for a TRO, just I doubt he is the one who instigated anything. As of right now he says he has no idea why she would file a TRO including texts. I know they argue periodically though.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    California
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Can the Custodial Parent Suspend Visitation After Petitining for a TRO

    In CA a TRO can be issued on an ex parte petition, with no notice to the other party if it is an emergency. This situation does not sound like an emergency. The Ex is required to tell your brother-in-law she has filed as per CAL. CCP. CODE § 527 : California Code - Section 527

    It sounds as though the county has a case info web page and it has not posted any information about a hearing. If no hearing is scheduled, it could be that the judge reviewing the request for the TRO will not even have a hearing and will deny the TRO filed. Just filing means nothing.

    I suggest for him to get a lawyer to appear at the TRO hearing, if one is scheduled, to plead your brother-in-laws' side.

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