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  1. #1

    Default I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Connecticut

    Trigger warning, might go without saying but i'm saying it anyways.

    All right i'm a little angry right now so I might be a little all over the place. It hard not to be angry in my situation.
    I want to sue my parents, most specifically my father. I've been beaten by my father literally for as long as I can remember. I've always been the main target. Now that I'm nearly 19 i'm ready to do something about it. I don't even want money, I want them to acknowledge what they did to me was wrong.

    The beatings started as the "normal" spanking. My mom often got mad at him for it because he often left red marks or hand marks on our rears that would last there for hours. By the time I was 10 it escalated. I can remember two situations where I was dragged around by the collar of my shirt. I vividly remember a time when he was driving me to school and I said someting and he went to punch me in my face. He hesitated at the last second so it wasn't that hard, but i guess it's the thought that counts. He later started beating me with a belt, over and over. One time I had two bruises going along down my thigh in the shape of the loop the belt made as he held it. When I was about 14 it was summer, I had gone out and as someone with very fair skin I sunburned pretty bad. It hurt just to move. He beat with a belt for what felt like a lifetime. I screamed as loud as I could and someone heard and a few moments after he stopped the police showed up at my door. they took pictures of the marks and arrested him. My mom bailed him out the next day, told me she thought I made those marks myself. My whole family was against me even though they'd witnessed what he was capable of.

    He got probation, got some help for his acohol problem. He mostly stopped hitting me. Maybe i'm jsut bitter but I can't help but think the only reason was because he knew I wasn't taking it anymore and he didn't want to get in more trouble. Course my evidence comes from the fact that do this day he refuses to acknowledge the facts of that day. Maybe he blacked out since he was drunk off his rocker. But he keeps telling people he did nothing wrong, he tells them that he just spanked me. Like whipping someone with a belt so much they have bruises all over their legs and arms is the same as small hit on the bum.

    I've seen several psychologists and therapists since that day by force from the state. I was diagnosed with mood disorder NOS. I'm putting my money Bipolar II and anxiety myself. I'm a recovering self harm addict (yes it's an addiction) and I've attempted suicide once. I've been in the psych ward 3 times and spent a half a year long stint in a state run Psychiatric hospital. I've been on Celexa, Abillify, Lamictol, Thorazine, and seroquel. I'm off all medication now, thought I should probably be getting something for this anxiety. I can't get a job because, I can barely leave the house. Loud noises scare me, hearing people yelling gives me panic attacks. My dad used to shout at me to stop crying if I was crying. Now if I hear those words I flip out. I'm afraid of doing ANYTHING not up to the standards of the person asking, so much so that i avoid the possibility altogether. Everytime I did a chore my dad would tell me I did it wrong.

    I'm more than willing to see as many more psychiatrists as it takes if it means I got a case. Like I said I don't want money. I don't want a cent. All I want is for him to accept that he messed up and I want an apology. A really apology too. I want him to be bawling his eyes out begging me to forgive him.

    If he doesn't I want a restraining order. If I can't get that then I'm moving out of the state and never talking to him again. He won't be walking me down the aisle at my wedding (not that I wanted him to anyways). He won't hear about anything I've done. And as far as his grandchildren will know, he's dead. Because he's dead to me and I'm done.

    I'm sorry this is really long..

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    You'll never be able to force him to apologize, and neither can the court.

    You won't get a restraining order, either - he doesn't represent a current threat.

    You're of course free to never acknowledge his existence.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    You'll never be able to force him to apologize, and neither can the court.
    I agree with this. You cannot make him apologize. What you might be able to do is make him face the reality of his behavior, even if you never get to actually observe that yourself, but it could cost you tens of thousands of legal fees to make that happen.

    You won't get a restraining order, either - he doesn't represent a current threat.
    I am not entirely certain that I agree on that one, because I am not entirely certain that the OP is not in the same household. If the OP is no longer in the same household I would agree.

    You're of course free to never acknowledge his existence.
    Absolutely agree on that. It might really be in the OP's best interests to move away...possibly far away and never acknowledge his/her parents again. Or, possibly in only a minimal way.

  4. #4

    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    Duh it makes sense they can't force him to apologize.

    I do still live in the same household. I'm planning on moving out pretty soon, perhaps in the next year or so.

    I guess I just want to do something. You know?

    No matter what I do it was always my plan my cut them off.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    Quote Quoting suemyparents
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    Duh it makes sense they can't force him to apologize.

    I do still live in the same household. I'm planning on moving out pretty soon, perhaps in the next year or so.

    I guess I just want to do something. You know?

    No matter what I do it was always my plan my cut them off.
    So move and forget about them.

    There's one thing that I really do think you should read.

    No matter how hard the temptation, don't put it out there on blogs, or FB. I'm not for one second saying that you would - but I do know anger and hurt can manifest in some ways that land you in legal trouble. So if you cut them off, stick with it. Or don't. But just don't feed the urge to vent online.

    Quote Quoting llworking
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    I agree with this. You cannot make him apologize. What you might be able to do is make him face the reality of his behavior, even if you never get to actually observe that yourself, but it could cost you tens of thousands of legal fees to make that happen.

    I am not entirely certain that I agree on that one, because I am not entirely certain that the OP is not in the same household. If the OP is no longer in the same household I would agree.

    Absolutely agree on that. It might really be in the OP's best interests to move away...possibly far away and never acknowledge his/her parents again. Or, possibly in only a minimal way.
    I still don't see where a restraining order is appropriate. OP has alternatives.

  6. #6

    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    OP might also find some excellent resources at www.pandys.org - an online community for survivors of various types of abuse.

    (Run by an excellent team of folks, including licensed mental health professionals and respected authors.)

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I Want to Sue My Parents for Childhood Abuse

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    So move and forget about them.

    There's one thing that I really do think you should read.

    No matter how hard the temptation, don't put it out there on blogs, or FB. I'm not for one second saying that you would - but I do know anger and hurt can manifest in some ways that land you in legal trouble. So if you cut them off, stick with it. Or don't. But just don't feed the urge to vent online.



    I still don't see where a restraining order is appropriate. OP has alternatives.
    Despite the fact that someone has alternatives, sometimes restraining orders are appropriate anyway. I would never suggest that a victim of true domestic violence should not get a restraining order just because they have "alternatives".

    I am saying this not necessarily for this OP, but perhaps for others that might read this thread...and perhaps for this OP if things go bad.

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