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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Quote Quoting jk
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    regardless of whom has the child the greater time, the parents can agree to allow either of them to have the deduction all of the time or they can agree to whatever they want regarding who gets the deduction. If it is written in the divorce decree, the parties would have to seek an amendment to the order to change it. It is is decided outside of the court, as long as they agree it is whatever they agree to. It's when one party feels wronged that there becomes a problem. Then, presuming there is nothing in the order addressing it, it will be determined by whomever the IRS and their rules as applied to the couple's situation determine it to be.
    While I do agree with this...there are some tax advantages to the parent claiming the deduction to actually be the custodial parent under the IRS rules (which has nothing to do with their custody case). The non-custodial parent can never claim EIC, daycare credits or head of household status.

    They only have one child, so obviously they are going to be alternating the exemption, anything else would not be equitable.

  2. #12

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Wow, thanks for all of the quick replies. My wife and I are still thinking things through, as neither of us fares as well without the other, at least financially. So, we have to decide whether or not the level of unhappiness in the marriage is fixable and bad enough to decide that the happiness we hope for by separating will be worth it when compared to what we would be giving up financially. Neither of us have others we intend to start relationships with so that makes it easy now to think, "Why not just stay together?", but if either of us feels that they just cannot find an adequate level of happiness by staying in the marriage, I guess we will be looking into all of the things offered in this thread. Thanks again!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    18,340

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Quote Quoting luvmydaughter
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    Wow, thanks for all of the quick replies. My wife and I are still thinking things through, as neither of us fares as well without the other, at least financially. So, we have to decide whether or not the level of unhappiness in the marriage is fixable and bad enough to decide that the happiness we hope for by separating will be worth it when compared to what we would be giving up financially. Neither of us have others we intend to start relationships with so that makes it easy now to think, "Why not just stay together?", but if either of us feels that they just cannot find an adequate level of happiness by staying in the marriage, I guess we will be looking into all of the things offered in this thread. Thanks again!
    Take your wife to the animal shelter and let her pick out a puppy to rescue. There will be happiness in the household for a long long time.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    I do have a somewhat unusual suggestion.

    If money is no real big deal, how about the child stays put in the house and each of the parents "live" there during their parenting time?

    There's a name for this. Can I remember what it's called? Nope!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    I do have a somewhat unusual suggestion.

    If money is no real big deal, how about the child stays put in the house and each of the parents "live" there during their parenting time?

    There's a name for this. Can I remember what it's called? Nope!
    I seem to remember the term "nesting".

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    That sounds about right! Thanks!

    Mentally I went through "cuckoo parenting" (and after consideration decided the connotation is a bit creepy), "helicopter parenting" (nobody wants to be that parent) and several others.

    Here's a nice piece about it: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...g-arrangements

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I do have a somewhat unusual suggestion.

    If money is no real big deal, how about the child stays put in the house and each of the parents "live" there during their parenting time?

    There's a name for this. Can I remember what it's called? Nope!
    to consider this money must be no object since there needs to be 3 households maintained. One for the mother when she is not in the child's home; one for the father when he is not in the child's home; and the home the child lives in and the parent's do occasionally.

    It also requires the parent's to either have a second set of personal items such as clothes and other stuff or bring everything with them.

    Personally I think that is the worst idea ever.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    These parents seem to want the best for their son - it's a viable alternative at least in the short term. and it can work brilliantly.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Trial Separation Where Neither of Us Want Much

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    to consider this money must be no object since there needs to be 3 households maintained. One for the mother when she is not in the child's home; one for the father when he is not in the child's home; and the home the child lives in and the parent's do occasionally.

    It also requires the parent's to either have a second set of personal items such as clothes and other stuff or bring everything with them.

    Personally I think that is the worst idea ever.
    I'm not trying to put words in Doggie's mouth, but I have been known to suggest this same thing. Why?

    Because parents seem to think it's OK to have their child practically living out of a suitcase, bouncing from house to house and eventually trying to not schedule their preteen/teenage activities when it's the other parent's time or missing out on stuff because it's the other parents time, instead of the parents making ALL the sacrifices because they put their child(ren) in this mess. The only person who didn't ask for any of this is the child, but the child is the only one who has to pay for their parents' mistakes.

    Do they have to maintain 3 residences? Yeah, but so. If they don't want to do it, then get a house with 3 bedrooms and let that child grow some roots. Everyone is ready to say that their child is the most important person in their world, so long as it doesn't inconvenience them much.

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