Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    6

    Default Non-Custodial Parent Wants to Enforce Visitation Despite Sporadic Past Compliance

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arkansas.

    Visitation order indicates NCP with no written request has summer visit from last day of school for 21 days, then July 1 to 20th for total of 42 days. NCP never sent request and often misses weekend visits for months on end because she chose to work in contract nursing and moves about.

    16 yr old got tired of waiting, no knowing plans, so pursued a summer job. When child finally caught up with parent and told them about the job, the parent belittled the child, screaming at them saying they were disgusted in them for getting a job, and demanded their visitation time stating they would be here to pick her up in a few days (Monday).

    Do not know address of other parent, just vicinity, and I believe the address is a requirement. Parent may also be working a graveyard shift leaving child at home. While some may argue that child is old enough to stay by themselves, there is concern for this child due to mental health issues. Other parent lost custody a few years ago due to some concerns of abuse.

    If parent shows up, must the teen go with? They are demanding half the summer, but technically if going by the VO they have already missed most of the first 3 weeks time and would have to return child at the end of next week until July 1. This would also result in teen losing job. Does teen or I need to obtain an attorney? Or should we wait to see if parent is bluffing and let them start court proceedings?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    You need to follow the court order. END Of story. NCP is entitled to visits. Why was the child trying to "catch up" with the parent? Why didn't YOU do that? The 16 year old is responsible enough for a summer job but not to stay overnight by self when sleeping? REALLY? That doesn't make sense at all. If the parent shows up, the teen must go for the time allotted. Unless the court order states that visitation is forfeited. Why would you want the TEEN to obtain an attorney? Don't you realize YOUR responsibility here?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    I am trying to find a solution that benefits the child. END OF story. How about speaking with me like an adult, and with a professional tone?

    To clarify: CO/VO indicates that child must have supervision AT ALL TIMES.

    Parent DID NOT exercise visitation at beginning of summer per the directive in the CO/VO. Parent is claiming that they "get" 9 weeks of the summer. This is not completely accurate, there was not a written request therefore it defaults to the "no written request" section of the VO. Visitation would have started the last day of classes for 21 days, then July 1 for 21 days. Weekend visitation on 2nd weekend by other parent (me).

    I realize my responsibility, I also realize the OTHER parent's responsibility and I cannot MAKE them do what they should be doing. Child is also tired of always being the one to call the parent to talk (parent tells them "you need to call me at blah blah time on blah blah day). I am often blindsided by communication going thru child instead of me and other parent, other parent almost always goes through child.
    I want to make sure things are on the up and up, that the child has time with the other parent.

    On that note, the parent left a message on CHILD's phone that they may or may not stop by to see them on the way through town, not to expect anything. I am assuming this means that they have changed their mind? I dont know, there is only passive aggressive communication from the other parent and it is very difficult, especially when they will not communicate in writing to avoid conflict.

    So, if parent does decide to swoop in on Monday and demand to take the child the child is to go without any further notice and without an address and verification of supervision?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    Quick question.

    Could you please tell us word for word (minus names) what the order says about supervision?

    The child is 16 and has a job - who supervises her?

    The NCP doesn't have to exercise all of the allotted visitation and in the future, if that's what you prefer, you can ask the court to include a "forfeit" clause.

    The bottom line though is that as it stands, you're not going to get the order changed in time for this year. So, child goes with other parent. You can always ask the court later to make visitation contingent upon there being an address on file (which may or may not be ordered). Your 16 year old can also call you and give you the address, so that solves that problem.


    Again though, what exactly does it say about supervision? I'm asking for a reason.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    Exactly what I wrote - "Child must have supervision at all times". I know, open to interpretation and I did attempt to get it spelled out in more detail. Sounds ridiculous as the child gets older and more mature, doesnt it? But we cant pick and chose what parts of the order to follow, can we?

    Child is at work, therefore a supervisor or manager would be the supervisor. At least that's what my argument would be. I believe it was put in there because of other parent's drug abuse history and child was often left unattended. It's been a few years since the CoC.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    So Cal
    Posts
    854

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    When you say mental health issues, is she on meds? Is she a suicide risk? She can't be supervised at night when she's sleeping at home, so I'm wondering if the order was written that way because she's prone to self-injury or that type of thing.

    I'd suggest that you speak to your attorney or an attorney in the area for more precise answers. Lawyers in the area will be able to examine all of the documentation, review your child's history with you, mom's failure to exercise visitation, the lack of communication, the abuse, etc. and inform you as to whether you have basis to bring an emergency hearing based on those facts. They will also know the judges and how they're likely to rule.

    Mom's response, if you're being on the up and up (sorry, but some parents come here and pretty things up with respect to their behavior and sling all kinds of mud against the other parent in an attempt to manipulate answers here and we've had a slew of them lately, so don't take this personally) is concerning.

    Speak to a lawyer ASAP.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,421

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    A manager/supervisor would not be providing supervision at all times. If that is the case, said child cannot and should not have a job. Nice attitude though.

    How does your child get to school? Does your child ever go to visit friends by walking down the street by herself? Does your child ever go anywhere without you or another adult escorting her? Does your child drive? Does she ever take the car without you? There are so many things wrong with that clause. Watch or you might find yourself in contempt for violating it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    Quote Quoting Ohiogal
    View Post
    A manager/supervisor would not be providing supervision at all times. If that is the case, said child cannot and should not have a job. Nice attitude though.

    How does your child get to school? Does your child ever go to visit friends by walking down the street by herself? Does your child ever go anywhere without you or another adult escorting her? Does your child drive? Does she ever take the car without you? There are so many things wrong with that clause. Watch or you might find yourself in contempt for violating it.
    Huh?...where are you going with this?

    Lets let the OP come back and explain themselves about the "supervision at all times" bit before we make assumptions.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    Quote Quoting Ohiogal
    View Post
    A manager/supervisor would not be providing supervision at all times. If that is the case, said child cannot and should not have a job. Nice attitude though.

    How does your child get to school? Does your child ever go to visit friends by walking down the street by herself? Does your child ever go anywhere without you or another adult escorting her? Does your child drive? Does she ever take the car without you? There are so many things wrong with that clause. Watch or you might find yourself in contempt for violating it.
    School: Child takes a bus or an authorized adult takes them/picks them up.
    Friends: No friends close by, rural community, transportation by adult required.
    An adult is always present.
    Child does not drive, does not have car, does not have DL at this time.

    During the CoC hearing/ battle/ war, whatever you want to call it the child was suicidal and a cutter. There was an incident of abuse a few years prior to the CoC that CPS investigated with new blended family with other parent. Yes, I should have filed for CoC at that time and done more, I hesitated and it is a regret that I have to live with. Another incident of abuse resulted in the start of a CoC in which I was awarded full custody.

    Verified the order stating "Children are to remain under strict supervision at all times" (other children are now adults and same answers for them) - Sounds like a dang prison, doesn't it? Not only for the child(ren), but for the parents as well.
    It also spells out everything from monitoring and cellphone use (would look at history and find inappropriate things to using in the middle of the night during other parent's time, and on occasion during mine which resulted in phone monitoring software and better house rules) to proper clothing attire which was the house rule here anyways.

    Parent didnt care when other child took a job and didnt enforce visitation, they agreed and even encouraged it (I *think* I still have the text copies on file)! But that is a done did and not relevant to the current issue.

    *I do want to say that the child is no longer suicidal thanks to a good therapist and immediate family support. I fought hard for the counseling clause and child finally felt safe enough to open up and start healing!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Enforcing Sporatic Visitations with Ncp

    I do not believe that wording is enforceable in any way, shape or form. It's far too vague as to render it basically impossible to enforce and nowhere does it say supervision must be decided or approved by you.

    So you're left with a decision to make.

    Refuse the other parent's visitation time, and face the consequences, or let your child go as per the order. If it was an issue, why didn't you address this earlier?

    And really? "proper clothing attire"? Exactly who decides what is and is not "proper"? Your order as written is, to be blunt, ridiculous. I also believe it's not helping the child in the slightest.

    If anything, it might actually be taking a few steps back in his/her progress.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Ack - that came across really bitchy. I sincerely apologize - I'm criticizing the actual order and its possible effects, not you specifically.

    Again, I'm sorry.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Enforcing Custody Orders: How to Enforce Visitation if You Cannot Find the Custodial Parent
    By Frobiwan in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-18-2014, 08:26 PM
  2. Custody and Visitation Issues: Can Custodial Parent Refuse Visitation After Non-Custodial Parent Repeatedly Cancels
    By milove95 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-15-2013, 09:44 AM
  3. Custody and Visitation Issues: How Can Non-Custodial Parent Enforce Visitation
    By Hadituptohere in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-07-2012, 07:07 PM
  4. Modification of Custody: Non-Custodial Parent Wants Visitation, Right When Custodial Parent is Planning a Move
    By worriedfordaughter in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-22-2011, 06:14 PM
  5. Non-Custodial Parent Visitation Vs. Custodial Parent's Rights In Georgia
    By metallic36 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-27-2008, 09:47 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources