Can a Teen Move Out if Her Parents Aren't Providing Adequately

[ebloomfield2796]

My question involves guardianship in the State of: Ohio.
I am an 18 year old female and my fiance, a female, is 16. She lives with her father and step mother because her mom is psychologically incapable of raising her. Her parents do not provide for her in the least. She does not eat their food even though they get food stamps. She has to buy everything for herself from toothbrushes and deodorant to school uniforms and shoes. They have never done anything for her. She has to pay them $20/week out of her paycheck that she works for. I provide all of her transportation to school, work, grocery store, doctor. Together, her and I provide for her. We purchase groceries, pay bills (phone, car insurance, gas), and she is completely self-reliable. We know that she has a case against her parents because she's been removed from their home before after taking pictures of the completely unsanitary living conditions. They have six dogs who urinate and poop on the floor and it never gets cleaned up. There is mold and fungus growing on things in the kitchen. Everything is covered in cigarette ashes and trash. It's not just messy, it's disgusting. Her extended family is aware that they take advantage of her financially but none of them know the extent of their unsanitary environment. I am the only person who has been in their home, they don't even let family in. Their dogs have never seen the light of day or felt grass. They have no hair. One dog has been limping for a month now without attention or care. One dog, a puppy yet, has open wounds all over their body. They live in a world where abuse in only physical. If they're not hitting their child, then everything is okay. There is no helping them as parents. The kids have been removed from the home many times before but they just clean up and promise to do better and get them back every time. She will not agree to foster care. I don't want her in it either. Her grandfather is the only relative willing to fight for her but he does not have the money or space for her. My aunt and uncle, who have had custody of me for two years, are able and willing to allow her to stay here but will not fight for it. I'm aware that her and I could get married after the Supreme Court makes their ruling this summer but it would require permission from her dad and we may not get it. The reason they're not just allowing her to leave is because she gets a substantial government check due to her mother's mental state and incapability to raise her. That is all it has come down to. If anybody is aware of any way I can help her to get out of that house, please share. We are not ones to exaggerate and we will not consider anything illegal. We are a very mature couple, and we want to know what legal standing we have, if any. Thank you for your time and consideration.

[cbg]

You have no legal standing whatsoever.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If her circumstances are dire, she can contact protective services -- 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

[LawResearcherMissy]

I am an 18 year old female and my fiance, a female, is 16.

She's your GIRLFRIEND, not your fiancee. In the state of Ohio, you cannot marry without parental consent until you're 18. She can't even consent to be wed yet, so no, you do not yet have a fiancee.

I am a lifelong Ohio resident, and a survivor of "The System". I tell you this from experience: If she is being neglected - and the living conditions you describe certainly fill that bill - you need to contact CPS. Period. If it's so bad, the authorities need to become involved. Ditto for the dogs. If you care about those animals, you will call the local dog warden and the local chapters of both the Humane Society and the SPCA.

She will not agree to foster care. I don't want her in it either.

Neither of you get any say in the matter. You are a third party, and legally nobody. She is a minor, and goes where her parents or the state tell her to.

we want to know what legal standing we have, if any.

You, as a third party, have zero standing. Your aunt and uncle have zero standing, so they don't need a willingness to fight for her - legally, they are nobody, so they'd never make it in front of a judge to begin with. She, as the person in question, can make her own decisions after she turns 18. It is not illegal for her parents to expect her to purchase her own food, clothing, and other necessities. They are actually legally able to take her entire paycheck from her if they need it to meet household expenses. As a minor, she is essentially chattel.

If you truly care about her, you need to get CPS involved.

[ebloomfield2796]

Thank you very much for your time and response. I will talk to her about getting CPS involved again. Her fear is being returned to the home again and every other time that it's happened, they cut the kids off from the outside world. Her parents are aware that we intend on getting married and that we intend on getting a place together in October/November of this year. They have not disagreed. They have not agreed either. Her father could be reasoned with after a lot of convincing but as soon as he speaks to his wife about it, she screams and he just shuts down. He is dependent on her because is on dialysis and she owns the vehicle and pays every bill except rent. It's really the stepmother that has to be reasoned with. She honestly lives in a fantasy world where she thinks that her dogs are her kids and there is no way she could be mistreating them. She honestly thinks she loves those dogs. They would be heartbroken if they lost those dogs. They just don't know HOW to love something. They don't realize that loving a living thing requires responsibility on their part. It's easy to see what light you see me in. I've read responses to other kids trying to get out of their homes and they all come across as entirely immature. I believe her best interest is for us to just convince her father to allow us to get married. Again, I do appreciate your time. It's apparent that I should speak to a professional. I'll be calling my lawyer tomorrow. She was very helpful in my custody case.

- - - Updated - - -

And while there is no reason for any of you to care about my asking for a little respect in this situation, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take it into consideration. I work three jobs as a manager, account executive, and delivery on the weekends. I work over eighty hours a week to see that our needs are met. I don't live in a fantasy world where I think children can run all over their parents and courts take youth seriously. Nobody gets a break in the real world. I don't need your snarky comments to remind me of that. I'm just tired of seeing her hurt and I feel helpless. I'm doing all that I can do and have been for two years now. And yes, I do plan to marry her as soon as we are able to. Yes, we take ourselves very seriously. We have purchased a car, we have been pre-approved for a house loan. I already have a credit score of 710. I just do not appreciate being attacked like a child that doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality.

[ebloomfield2796]

I have one last request: since her grandfather is not financially able to take her, is there any help for him? Would the government check she gets from her mom go to him? Would he seem unfavorable in the eye of the court? Could my income be considered since I will still be doing all I could to support us and help him out any way I could? Her grandfather is by far a more favorable provider in my unprofessional opinion. With the check from her mother, he could most likely manage. Again, thank you for your time and consideration.

[cbg]

No, her grandfather has no legal standing either. She is a minor; she lives where her parents say she lives until the state says she lives somewhere else. It's possible the state may place her with another relative - you may rest assured that she will not be placed with you, nor will your income be considered in any way.

FYI, regardless of what the court in your state may decide with regards to gay marriage, a 16 year old cannot marry without parental consent. In any state.

[Dogmatique]

OP did message me to ask if I'd take a look.

So here I am.

OP - I'm here to give you a reality check.

You're 18, you have a child or children of your own, and you really think marrying this poor kid is in her best interests? How on God's green earth did you come up with that conclusion?

If for no other reason, think about HER. Not you. HER. The last thing this poor kid needs is to go from one chaotic mess into another. Give the girl a chance to grow up, eh?

Because if you do genuinely care about her wellbeing, you'll know you're being silly and admit to yourself that you had a knee-jerk reaction and that yes, deep down, neither of you needs to be in that situation.

Right?

[stealth2]

I have to wonder - what has the 16yo done with regard to cleaning up the mess in the house and/or getting help for the dogs? Yes, they may get taken, but why are they being sacrificed? They have NO way to get help for themselves.

[Ohiogal]

Thank you very much for your time and response. I will talk to her about getting CPS involved again. Her fear is being returned to the home again and every other time that it's happened, they cut the kids off from the outside world. Her parents are aware that we intend on getting married and that we intend on getting a place together in October/November of this year.

She cannot marry you. You are both female and in Ohio at this juncture that is NOT legal. Furthermore, them not disagreeing is not what matters. They have actually make effort to permit the marriage. Your girlfriend cannot legally move in with you this year either.

They have not disagreed. They have not agreed either. Her father could be reasoned with after a lot of convincing but as soon as he speaks to his wife about it, she screams and he just shuts down. He is dependent on her because is on dialysis and she owns the vehicle and pays every bill except rent. It's really the stepmother that has to be reasoned with.

The stepmother has no say so. Legally she has no rights. She has just as many rights as you do.

She honestly lives in a fantasy world where she thinks that her dogs are her kids and there is no way she could be mistreating them. She honestly thinks she loves those dogs. They would be heartbroken if they lost those dogs. They just don't know HOW to love something. They don't realize that loving a living thing requires responsibility on their part. It's easy to see what light you see me in. I've read responses to other kids trying to get out of their homes and they all come across as entirely immature. I believe her best interest is for us to just convince her father to allow us to get married. Again, I do appreciate your time. It's apparent that I should speak to a professional. I'll be calling my lawyer tomorrow. She was very helpful in my custody case.

You are 18 and already have had a custody case?

- - - Updated - - -

And while there is no reason for any of you to care about my asking for a little respect in this situation, I'd really appreciate it if you'd take it into consideration. I work three jobs as a manager, account executive, and delivery on the weekends. I work over eighty hours a week to see that our needs are met. I don't live in a fantasy world where I think children can run all over their parents and courts take youth seriously. Nobody gets a break in the real world. I don't need your snarky comments to remind me of that. I'm just tired of seeing her hurt and I feel helpless. I'm doing all that I can do and have been for two years now. And yes, I do plan to marry her as soon as we are able to. Yes, we take ourselves very seriously. We have purchased a car, we have been pre-approved for a house loan. I already have a credit score of 710. I just do not appreciate being attacked like a child that doesn't know the difference between fantasy and reality

Well you don't know the law. You really need to get a reality check.