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  1. #1
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    May 2015
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    Default False Accusations of Child Abuse and Cessation of Spousal Support During Divorce

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: Michigan

    I am currently going through a divorce and I feel like my lawyer may not be working for me. Any advice on what I should do will help. I'll describe what's happening currently.

    We went to the conciliation and part of that agreement was we would have joint custody with me getting 60% and her 40%. I was unemployed at the time but my wife left the apartment and she was ordered to pay the bills plus $40 each pay check instead of paying the child support. Soon after she called CPS and they opened a case, it was closed as they found nothing wrong. Soon after she called them again with more false allegations. Part of the agreement was she didn't have to pay the bills or pay me the $40 if I got cash assistance from the state. I have Food Stamps and Medicaid but no cash assistance. She told her lawyer that I was getting cash assistance with no evidence and her lawyer told her to stop paying the bills and the $40. With CPS constantly involved and her no longer giving me the $40 every paycheck I can't put gas in my car to pick up my kids or find a job. I feel as if she is trying to sabotage me so the courts will grant her custody. We also have a mutual restraining order that lists harassment as one of the things we can't do. Is calling CPS with false allegations considered harassment? So far my lawyer hasn't done anything except respond to her lawyer when he tries to file a motion but hasn't actually done anything about what she has done. It was an abusive marriage with the abuse coming from her and I feel like she is just continuing that abuse even after we are no longer together. The wife has also opened up a custody investigation with friend of the court at the same time she stopped paying the bills against the court order. I feel like I'm losing my mind, I thought once we filed for divorce the abuse would stop, just so stressed out and really need some advice on what I should do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    Quick question.

    Has the custody actually been signed as an order yet?

    Another question. Did her attorney actually tell you that your ex is stopping payments under his advisement... or did it come from your ex?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2015
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    6

    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    My ex told me that her lawyer told her to stop paying and I got a letter with an accusation from her lawyer that I have been receiving state benefits since February. The paper specifically states cash assistance which I do not have because I was denied. The custody is a temporary order until the divorce is final and custody is determined. I was the stay at home dad for the 9 years we were married. I don't have my GED or held any job during that time.

  4. #4
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    Stop believing your ex. Neither she nor her attorney are looking out for you.

    Could you clarify though?

    1. How long has the 60/40 been in place?
    2. The children aren't with her, right?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2015
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    6

    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    The 60/40 joint custody was established on January 13th 2015 at conciliation and signed by the judge. I have them Sunday evening until Thursday morning when I take them to the bus. They are currently with me.

  6. #6
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    Okay, excellent. Your next step is to actually meet with your attorney. Tell him exactly what your concerns are, and how best can these be dealt with.

    Let's take custody.

    The longer you have a temp order, the more likely it is going to become the permanent order. How do you want that to work in terms of school, holidays etc? You've got close to a 55/45 timeshare and whether you should go with that is going to depend on what's best for the children, but also - to a degree - the adults. So far she gets every weekend and that's going to make it difficult for you to have the kids during "down time". Your attorney will know how the judge tends to rule.

    Take Mom's attorney's letter. Your attorney might want to ignore it, or might want to act upon it. There are a couple of scenarios as to how this might play out, but one would be that you both ignore it and leave Mom (and her attorney) with egg on their faces when they try to raise the issue in court. Another option would be to file for contempt and let Mom explain to the judge.

    I'm getting the impression that part of the reason Mom wants more of a 50/50 timeshare is because she thinks she won't have to pay child support. Again this is something your attorney should discuss with you.

    How are we doing so far?

  7. #7
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    May 2015
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    They imputed me income even without a job. With the amount she makes even at a 50/50 share she would still owe me child support. She has come over during my parenting time and taken the kids without my consent. Cops were called and such. I'm going for full custody as she has shown that she doesn't have the proper mindset or ability to co parent. Due to the situation I had my brother and his girlfriend move in and a friend and her daughter move in to help me out for now and that is part of the problem. I'm getting closer to finding a job and she is getting threatened by it. She thinks because she makes the money and is the mother that she is guaranteed custody. Her calling CPS backfired because they feel the kids should be with me full time.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    She thinks she has the advantage because she's a high earner and you need room-mates? Well, you've just shown the court that you - and by extension, your children - have an extensive support network.

    Trying to use that against you is likely to backfire.

    When do you next see your attorney?

  9. #9
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    May 2015
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    The standard parenting time order states that I cannot have a girlfriend around the kids and she is trying to prove that my female room mate is my girlfriend. No matter how many times we both insist we are not a couple she argues that because we sleep in the same room that we are considered a couple. I normally just call my lawyer for updates or email him. For now I'm just dealing with the ex and her harassment and her not following the court order because her lawyer didn't read the papers correctly. For the custody investigation we were supposed to split the cost of the investigation 31% for me and 69% for her. I just got a letter about the investigation and that her lawyer wants to split the cost 50/50 instead. I don't have any income currently because of the constant threat of her coming while I'm away and taking the kids again.

  10. #10
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    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Some Advice About a Divorce, Feels Like I'm Getting Screwed

    Quote Quoting unzensierte
    View Post
    Part of the agreement was....
    If the agreement is in the form of a court order, your lawyer can file a motion asking that your spouse be held to account for her failure to comply with the order. If it's a voluntary payment, you can ask your lawyer about whether it would make sense to seek a court order for temporary spousal support.
    Quote Quoting unzensierte
    View Post
    The custody is a temporary order until the divorce is final and custody is determined. I was the stay at home dad for the 9 years we were married. I don't have my GED or held any job during that time.
    Do you know what you can do while you're otherwise sitting around at home? You can study for the GED, or take some online courses to gain job skills. Unless you are disabled, your chances of getting anything more than temporary, rehabilitative spousal support, if that, are slim. You should be proactive about improving your circumstances.
    Quote Quoting unzensierte
    View Post
    The standard parenting time order states that I cannot have a girlfriend around the kids and she is trying to prove that my female room mate is my girlfriend. No matter how many times we both insist we are not a couple she argues that because we sleep in the same room that we are considered a couple.
    And the court may find it to be more than a bit odd for you to share a bedroom with an opposite sex roommate; although perhaps you have a Lucy & Desi arrangement. (Funny thing, though... they actually were married.)
    Quote Quoting unzensierte
    I don't have any income currently because of the constant threat of her coming while I'm away and taking the kids again.
    You have a temporary custody order. There's no reason to believe that your wife will violate that order, or that the court won't hold her accountable if she attempts to violate the order. In other words, by all appearances, that's going to come across to the court as a very lame excuse for not getting a job. Ask your lawyer what he thinks.

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