Should we infer at this point that her husband has a lawyer and she does not?
You can see the criteria that a court will use to assess child support in the Family Code, Sec. 4320.Quoting tzr916
As a general rule, no matter what the length of the marriage, a court will expect a spouse to become self-supporting. With a seven-year separation and with dad having custody of the kids, if mom wants spousal support she should be prepared to explain to the court why she has not been able to reach the point of being self-sufficient despite the passage of seven years. For truly permanent support a court is going to want evidence of an incapacity to work resulting from age or disability.
The same general thoughts apply to continued medical benefits and who should pay for them. If mom can obtain her own insurance at a reasonable cost, or if mom wishes to stay on her ex's policy through COBRA, it's reasonable for the court to ask why she should not pay for her own health benefits.Quoting tzr916
The wife will have a claim to a portion of the retirement account. She should anticipate that her husband will argue that the date should be set at the time of separation.Quoting tzr916
Husband apparently has papers he wants her to sign. She does not have lawyer yet.
18 year old is away in college (paid by grandparents).
13 year old sleeps at dad's house (daycare and home schooled by grandparents).
Both kids were 90% cared for by the grandparents during the 8 years of separation.
She is not seeking custody.