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  1. #1
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    Apr 2015
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    Default Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Florida

    It all started by me letting my daughter spend the weekend with her biological fathers mom. The night before she went she received a spanking from my husband with a belt. She has been acting up really badly. And the next day I let her go to her grandmas the morning after she spent the first night I received a call saying that she was upset she had bruises. That day I had to call the cops to go to there house because the father wouldn't let Me get her and started making accusations of abuse.. When the cops came they was asking what happened we fully cooperated.. me and my husband and they kept making the situation difficult with the cops. and the Cops was trying to give me my daughter turns out they call DCF and they took pictures and made us come in the next day to take more pictures. They told us that they was going to get somebody in the house before she could come back but before they could do that the father got a restraining order on my husband and he has to go to court now I cant get my daughter because she can't be in the house with him. I have two other girls and they checked them and they had no bruises they try to say it's because they are my husband's biological kids but we never had this happen with my daughter before my husband has been raising her since she was one year old he has been the father figure. We have witnesses to the fact that he has never abused her. I just don't know what to do and the restraining order made it more difficult considering my husband does have a back ground but not of child abuse. please help me she is only 4 and I don't want her to stay with her biological father he is very immature and always put her off on his mom they both smoke weed. we are just trying to teach our children right and we discipline them not always by spanking it just depends on how bad it is and what they do but if not spanking my kids means getting my child back that's what I will do. please help us I need my baby backs.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: Florida

    It all started by me letting my daughter spend the weekend with her biological fathers mom. The night before she went she received a spanking from my husband with a belt. She has been acting up really badly. And the next day I let her go to her grandmas the morning after she spent the first night I received a call saying that she was upset she had bruises. That day I had to call the cops to go to there house because the father wouldn't let Me get her and started making accusations of abuse.. When the cops came they was asking what happened we fully cooperated.. me and my husband and they kept making the situation difficult with the cops. and the Cops was trying to give me my daughter turns out they call DCF and they took pictures and made us come in the next day to take more pictures. They told us that they was going to get somebody in the house before she could come back but before they could do that the father got a restraining order on my husband and he has to go to court now I cant get my daughter because she can't be in the house with him. I have two other girls and they checked them and they had no bruises they try to say it's because they are my husband's biological kids but we never had this happen with my daughter before my husband has been raising her since she was one year old he has been the father figure. We have witnesses to the fact that he has never abused her. I just don't know what to do and the restraining order made it more difficult considering my husband does have a back ground but not of child abuse. please help me she is only 4 and I don't want her to stay with her biological father he is very immature and always put her off on his mom they both smoke weed. we are just trying to teach our children right and we discipline them not always by spanking it just depends on how bad it is and what they do but if not spanking my kids means getting my child back that's what I will do. please help us I need my baby backs.
    You do not have witnesses to the fact that he has never abused her. Re-read that sentence until you can grasp how ridiculous that sounds. Really.

    What are you teaching your kids? I think we already have the answer to that question. While I realize that some parents do spank, and in most (every?) states it's not against the law, but you're ill-equipped to decide proper discipline.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Well all I know is we have been there and the biological father only comes around when he wants and gets her when he feels like it. And when he gets her he puts her on his mom after a couple hours or if lucky a day. Me and my husband do everything we possibly can to raise our kids to the best of our ability. We teach them right from wrong and its wrong when you come home from your dads house at age 4 say f*** this and f*** that and im not listening to you.. (Among other things) and plenty of times we have had to explain what she saying is not good at all.. All I know is i don't want to lose my child over this situation. I want to know how to go about this so she can come home.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
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    Well all I know is we have been there and the biological father only comes around when he wants and gets her when he feels like it. And when he gets her he puts her on his mom after a couple hours or if lucky a day. Me and my husband do everything we possibly can to raise our kids to the best of our ability. We teach them right from wrong and its wrong when you come home from your dads house at age 4 say f*** this and f*** that and im not listening to you.. (Among other things) and plenty of times we have had to explain what she saying is not good at all.. All I know is i don't want to lose my child over this situation. I want to know how to go about this so she can come home.
    You're meant to be the custodial parent. What's your excuse? She spends more time with you, so clearly your attempts to discipline her properly are failing.

    You can't force child services to return the child to an abusive household - you may indeed need to choose between your abusive spouse or your poor child.

    It's a no-brainer. Why is it even a question?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
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    8

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Also to a certain extent we do have proof.. She goes to the doctors regularly and shes never had bruised from abuse we go to church 3 times a week unless we have events that we may attend almost everyday of the week and she is never hidden in any way people take her yo the restroom and change her clothes along with my other children never any signs of abuse. And again the dcf Lady said she don't think it was done intentionally.. Which is true.. We don't normally use a belt and she said also she is light skinned but again I just want to get her back before its to late.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I would never chose my husband over my child. But the father is only doing this because of his sister.. She is starting stuff and the accusations are not true sooo?? I'm asking for help for a reason.

    - - - Updated - - -

    And the only time she acts out is when she goes there and comes back so its not my parental skills.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    From your other post you say your husband spanked her with a belt leaving marks. Under FL law, he committed a potentially criminal act. He needs to speak with a criminal defense attorney and you need to speak with a Family Law attorney if you hope to keep your child. At age 4 there is no reason he should have swatting her with a BELT!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Thank you. We did not know that and DCF didn't mention that either. They just said since she is light skinned we should find a new way to go about disciplining which we both completely agree and learned the hard way.. Again the only reason it got complicated was because the restraining order they was going to give her back because we agreed to them coming to our home every so often so check and make sure all is well. If we can some how fight against the restraining order when he goes to court then it won't be as complicated.. I just don't know how to fight it I heard he made a lie to get it though. And if it is what they say it is we can prove to the judge either with a person or a letter from the person. But I'm not sure how to find out what the restraining or is for.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    Also to a certain extent we do have proof.. She goes to the doctors regularly and shes never had bruised from abuse we go to church 3 times a week unless we have events that we may attend almost everyday of the week and she is never hidden in any way people take her yo the restroom and change her clothes along with my other children never any signs of abuse. And again the dcf Lady said she don't think it was done intentionally.. Which is true.. We don't normally use a belt and she said also she is light skinned but again I just want to get her back before its to late.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I would never chose my husband over my child. But the father is only doing this because of his sister.. She is starting stuff and the accusations are not true sooo?? I'm asking for help for a reason.

    - - - Updated - - -

    And the only time she acts out is when she goes there and comes back so its not my parental skills.

    Good grief, you really can't be that clueless, surely?

    My DOG can understand that you can't prove a negative. How on earth is it possible that you can't understand that?

    You don't seem to have any parental skills. That's the problem, clearly.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    Thank you. We did not know that and DCF didn't mention that either. They just said since she is light skinned we should find a new way to go about disciplining which we both completely agree and learned the hard way.. Again the only reason it got complicated was because the restraining order they was going to give her back because we agreed to them coming to our home every so often so check and make sure all is well. If we can some how fight against the restraining order when he goes to court then it won't be as complicated.. I just don't know how to fight it I heard he made a lie to get it though. And if it is what they say it is we can prove to the judge either with a person or a letter from the person. But I'm not sure how to find out what the restraining or is for.
    The restraining order should protect your child from an abusive adult. So.... which are you going to choose? And what the heck has her skin color got to do with anything? Are you pretending that she bruises more easily because she has light skin? That it wouldn't show so much if she was darker skinned?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Dogmatique:
    Look here its not easy explaining a situation like this to someone and ecpect them to understand idc whst you think! You can just stop writing on this post and find someone elses life to play with im done hearing from you! You dont know nothing about my parenting skills and nothing at all about this situation really all your doing is twisting it up. Your just speaking ignorantly and think your just mr.or mrs. Perfect what ever you are.. But reality is your not so back off ok. No excuses are coming from this mouth im just simply stating what came frim dcf. But your so called advise is no longer needed good bye!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    Thank you. We did not know that and DCF didn't mention that either. They just said since she is light skinned we should find a new way to go about disciplining which we both completely agree and learned the hard way.. Again the only reason it got complicated was because the restraining order they was going to give her back because we agreed to them coming to our home every so often so check and make sure all is well. If we can some how fight against the restraining order when he goes to court then it won't be as complicated.. I just don't know how to fight it I heard he made a lie to get it though. And if it is what they say it is we can prove to the judge either with a person or a letter from the person. But I'm not sure how to find out what the restraining or is for.
    When he was served with the restraining order, the information should be attached. That will explain what was alleged and why the order was issued. When he goes to court he can try to convince a court why he smacked a pre-schooler with a belt and how it will never ever happen again. Whether the court will buy it or not is something I can't predict. I would not be surprised if the court leaves the order in place at least in so far as it pertains to his being alone with the child or disciplining her. Keep in mind that if the police were involved, criminal charges against him - and maybe you, as well - could be forthcoming.

    And what was the "lie" that dad said? Did he lie about the visible injuries? Heck, you admit that hubby smacked her with a belt and left marks, so that doesn't seem to be a lie. What, then, was the lie?

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