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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Ok . well the lie he told was that my husband was beating my 4 year old then snatched up my other two kids and punched me as I was laying on the ground my pastor stood over me screaming someone call the police. None of this took place and he was not even there sooo I don't know.. He has been trying slick stuff sense before I even met my husband so he can get her.. And his sister threatened to get grandparent rights for his mom all because I didn't want to send her to Illinois for a whole summer. Again we do understand now NO belt!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Getting Daughter

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    Dogmatique:
    Look here its not easy explaining a situation like this to someone and ecpect them to understand idc whst you think! You can just stop writing on this post and find someone elses life to play with im done hearing from you! You dont know nothing about my parenting skills and nothing at all about this situation really all your doing is twisting it up. Your just speaking ignorantly and think your just mr.or mrs. Perfect what ever you are.. But reality is your not so back off ok. No excuses are coming from this mouth im just simply stating what came frim dcf. But your so called advise is no longer needed good bye!

    Oh hon, that's not how this works. I'll respond as I see fit.

    So where were we? Right. You said, "You dont know nothing....". Well, that means I do actually know something. To be perfectly honest with you, I don't care a flying ferret fart about you or your abusive boyfriend. I don't care about Dad. I DO however care about the poor child who has been exposed to abuse and actually was abused.

    It's normal for you to be defensive, and shoot the messenger. I've been doing this for years; the people who get mad at me are usually responding to something they don't want to hear. Such is life.

    It is appalling that you needed someone to tell you that hitting a 4 year old with a belt until she's bruised is not appropriate. That's really the bottom line - and if I were Dad, I'd have filed an emergency petition for custody pending a full hearing due to the abuse she suffered at your hands.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    No sweety I'm not mad at what's being said because I know what's going on and you dont ! The problem is your stank attitude behind what your saying. And sense I do know what is going on and you don't I will say you obviously don't know what your talking about you can continue to respond by as for me I don't have to reply

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    Either your husband hit her with a belt or he didn't. Which is it? Yes or no.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    No sweety I'm not mad at what's being said because I know what's going on and you dont ! The problem is your stank attitude behind what your saying. And sense I do know what is going on and you don't I will say you obviously don't know what your talking about you can continue to respond by as for me I don't have to reply
    You are angry because nobody is being sympathetic to your situation. You say that you understand "no belts". However, its not really the belt that is the problem. The problem is any form of physical punishment that actually leaves a bruise or mark on a child. A physical punishment that leave bruises or marks on children is not punishment, its child abuse. Therefore, simply saying "no belts" does not solve the potential problem. You and your husband are not demonstrating that you understand what the actual problem is...you are blaming it on the belt, when in reality, its how your husband used the belt and the fact that he used the belt on a 4 year old child. Its your judgment that is in question here. His judgment for deciding to punish a child with an object that he should have known would injure the child, and your judgment for allowing him to do so.

    Your best case scenario, in my opinion, is that your child gets to come home but you are ordered not to use physical punishments at all.

    Your worse case scenario is that dad is awarded sole custody and you get visits on a supervised basis as long as you are married to your husband.

    The most likely scenario is that dad gets primary custody, you get visitation, but either your husband is not allowed to be present during those visits or he is not allowed to be alone with the child during those visits...unless you can convince the judge that it was all a mistake that will never occur again, and just saying "no belts" will not convince a judge that you truly understand what the problem is.

    I suggest that the two of you voluntarily take a parenting class...and perhaps a class on child abuse if something like that is offered anywhere in your area. It also wouldn't hurt for your husband to take a voluntary anger management class. Doing things like that is a way to help convince a judge that you truly understand what the real problem is.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    not in a prison
    Posts
    732

    Default Re: Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    I noticed you stated you take that child to church three times a week,, it made me wonder some things combined with the belting of the child, your church never suggested such parenting skills to you by any chance? can I ask what type of church you belong to?

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Restraining Order Against a Stepparent Due to Alleged Child Abuse

    Quote Quoting gabbs13
    View Post
    No sweety I'm not mad at what's being said because I know what's going on and you dont ! The problem is your stank attitude behind what your saying. And sense I do know what is going on and you don't I will say you obviously don't know what your talking about you can continue to respond by as for me I don't have to reply
    Here's the thing, gabbs. You allowed your husband to physically abuse your child. You have now told us - with extreme reluctance - that you'll no longer use the belt.
    Well, that's a little too late.

    But what's really disturbing - and if you bother to read, the other posters agree - is that you don't actually think he did anything wrong. Do you understand?

    Now, we're not a court room. But between us, you have easily a couple of decades' worth of experience and knowledge and yet you're fighting all of us because you insist that we don't know what we're talking about.

    You think we're tough? Wait till Dad gets you into a court room. You'll be wishing that you listened to a random group of strangers who gave you advice appropriate to your situation. Dad's attorney is going to wipe the floor with you. You're on the way to being sunk, my dear.

    And I think that's a good thing for the poor child.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    You are angry because nobody is being sympathetic to your situation. You say that you understand "no belts". However, its not really the belt that is the problem. The problem is any form of physical punishment that actually leaves a bruise or mark on a child. A physical punishment that leave bruises or marks on children is not punishment, its child abuse. Therefore, simply saying "no belts" does not solve the potential problem. You and your husband are not demonstrating that you understand what the actual problem is...you are blaming it on the belt, when in reality, its how your husband used the belt and the fact that he used the belt on a 4 year old child. Its your judgment that is in question here. His judgment for deciding to punish a child with an object that he should have known would injure the child, and your judgment for allowing him to do so.

    Your best case scenario, in my opinion, is that your child gets to come home but you are ordered not to use physical punishments at all.

    Your worse case scenario is that dad is awarded sole custody and you get visits on a supervised basis as long as you are married to your husband.

    The most likely scenario is that dad gets primary custody, you get visitation, but either your husband is not allowed to be present during those visits or he is not allowed to be alone with the child during those visits...unless you can convince the judge that it was all a mistake that will never occur again, and just saying "no belts" will not convince a judge that you truly understand what the problem is.

    I suggest that the two of you voluntarily take a parenting class...and perhaps a class on child abuse if something like that is offered anywhere in your area. It also wouldn't hurt for your husband to take a voluntary anger management class. Doing things like that is a way to help convince a judge that you truly understand what the real problem is.
    THIS. ^^^^^

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