Wouldn't surprise me, either.
We don't need to know anything about YOU do give you a factually correct answer.You don't know anything about me.
Big deal. You and countless others.I'm in graduate school. I'm a teacher. I do both.
If it was ACTUALLY about him, you'd just wait until he was of an age to change his name himself, and support him in the process of doing so IF HE WANTED TO. This is not about your son at all, it's about your wounded ego.And I raise my son. That's what this is about. Him. Not me.
We did. You just don't like the answers. The answer, once again, is "The court said No. You lost. Comply with the court order, or ignore at your own peril."Please stop dismissing me and answer my questions.
In what wonderland do you exist, that you believe the 5th Amendment has any application here?Can I plead the 5th?
You'd rather go to jail? Been soaking in a bucket of Idiot, have you? No, you can't request jail time. And if it's all about your son, why would you do that anyway?Can I request jail time over paying attorney fees?
Oh, no. You've actually been soaking in a tub of Self Righteous Ignoramus. Poor thing. No, the way a finding of contempt works is that upon being found in contempt, you are immediately remanded into custody, and you cool your heels in the hoozegow til you pull your head out of your ass and choose to comply with the court's orders. You don't get "just a few days", and you don't get to choose when you serve your time.I doubt I'd get more than a couple nights over contempt of court anyways. I could do that on the weekend, when I don't have the child.
You're right. I only know what you say, but you did say this:You don't know anything about me
Now on to your other questions:
Yes. You have the constitutional right to plead the 5thCan I plead the 5th?
No, because the attorney's fees are owed to the attorney, it's not a fine being paid to the court.Can I request jail time over paying attorney fees?
And I'm very proud of you for being a teacher and being in graduate school, but you should think about how a criminal conviction is going to haunt you for years to come. They generally don't like criminals in education and this WILL come up. Then you'll have to explain why it is that you purposely defied a court order and how that will reflect on you as an educator. When your superiors decide to institute policy you don't like, will you then defy them? They're lower than the court and you're willing to defy a judge when they've handed down an order.
Just a thought.
Then think about your defiance and the judge's ability to consider that your choice to have no respect for the court. The penalty for that is a change in custody. You're prepared to be the noncustodial parent over this, aren't you?
You guys are killing me![]()
I really am listening to what you're saying and I'm trying to figure out what to do. It would kill me to let this go. He knew how important my family name was to me and that's why he went after that aspect of it. I was trying to do the right thing by incorporating both our names and it escapes me how no one involved sees this. It escapes me why I wasn't given equal consideration in this case. But you've given me a lot to think about, so I'll consider it.
It's clear that this is a battle of egos between you and your ex. Leave your kid out of it. Let him decide when he's older. If you are an educator, don't you believe in letting children have some agency?
And risking jail time is just foolish. He could end up the custodial parent. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.
I have no idea if you have a girl or a boy (and I'm not going through this mess to look), but this family name thing kills me, especially with girls. One day, your daughter is going to grow up and (hopefully) get married. She'll probably take her husband's name, which means eventually she won't have your name anymore. Their children will have their father's name, so it's gone.
Your child isn't their name, they are the PERSON. Regardless of what their name is, they are ALWAYS a part of whatever family. When they go to family reunions, they're going to meet all kinds of people who are related to them and have different last names. BLOOD makes the family, not their name. The judge let both of you speak your peace and read your documents. They DID give you equal consideration based on your pleadings. The judge decided to give your child their father's name based on what he saw. For you, equal consideration means giving you what you want, and that's not the way it is in real life.
Whether you want to admit it or not, this IS about your ego. A judge has decided and you'd rather go to jail and ruin your future instead of leaving it be. That makes it all about you because your child isn't going to care WHAT their name is. I've got 2 kids and neither has ever asked me where their last name came from. One of those children is an adult already. Still doesn't care.
You have picked up on the fact that there is more to it, yes. My ex knows how important the name thing is to me from being married to me. I did not take his name at first. (I did hyphenate eventually) Whatever you believe about feminism or family, or whatever, I was personally raised to specifically value my family name. I was raised in a family where genealogy was emphasized. Therefore, this is very personal. My ex knew this fact about me very well. So this is a case of spitefulness. And I know based on how this thread has gone, that you may not believe it was him being spiteful. However, if you knew my background beforehand, like he did, you could see how I would see this as a personal affront. Specifically due to the fact that I directly told him it was important to me to pass my name on. He knows how this particular issue affects me.
Also, this child is not a girl. I am even more of an advocate now of talking about name changes. I think that couples should agree on a name when getting married instead of just assuming the female will take the male's name. I don't think it's bad if a female takes a male's name, I just think it should be discussed between the couple and not automatically assumed. I feel the same way about naming a child.
As someone who already felt strongly about the issue of patriarchal naming before I was married, I just find it so ironic that I am being forced to accept a patriarchal ruling for my one and only child.
Another thing I wanted to add since someone mentioned about me potentially becoming the "NCP" is that I'm not really the "custodial parent" to begin with. I'm not the "non-custodial parent" either though. We have joint custody. It's fairly close to 50/50--it's like 55/45--I have slightly more time, but he gets all the tax benefits, and obviously the name.