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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default How to Stop Your Ex from Making False Abuse Allegations to CPS

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Texas. I have custody of my 9 year old son and my ex wife has custody of my 3 year old daughter. My son was in appropriately touched by my ex wife's husbands daughter who he no longer has contact with when he was 6. My son mentioned to the therapist at the time that he was touched again while under the care of my ex. She put the neighbor's daughter and our son in the same bed to sleep and she did it again. The therapist reported the abuse and CPS investigated. They found reason to believe the neglect happened. The told her not to do it again and the case was closed. Shortly after my ex wife reported me for putting the children to bed in the same room but separate beds for two days while staying at a friends. At the time of the indecent my son was 7 and my daughter was 1. CPS investigated and found no evidence of neglect or abuse. A few days ago my son was questioned at his school by CPS. The only reason I know is because he told me. My ex wife has not exercised visitation of our son since November of 2014. Like every other Thursday, I text her asking if she would pick up our son. She replied she couldn't because our daughter who is 3 now told her that her brother touched her. I have no doubt that this is not true. While going through our divorce she accused me of beating and raping her frequently over our 7 years of marriage. She accused me of assaulting her while picking up our daughter. The prosecutor dismissed the charges after learning that she voluntarily gave me custody of our son. She gave me custody because he told me, the therapist and school faculty about heavy drinking, fighting and yelling occurring at home. She seems to be able to accuse me and now my son of anything she wants regardless of it being true or not. I feel helpless. I have spent everything I had fighting for custody and fighting assault charges. I am afraid to pick up my daughter because I'm sure that as soon as i do she will make another false report to cps. I feel like I will never be able to see my daughter without having to deal with her abusing the system that has been put in place to protect children that really need help. What can I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    16,474

    Default Re: What is My Recourse for Multiple False Acusations Being Reported to CPS by My Ex

    Dad, to be honest is appears that both you AND mom have used "inappropriate touching" and CPS as tools against each other...and all with VERY young children. I am not saying that you are right or mom is right or either of you are wrong. I am simply saying that once that cycle starts, that its not only very problematic, but that it can lead to serious issues with the children.

    Based on what you have said here, and the status of your custody orders it does not appear that CPS took any of the issues, with any of the children, seriously enough to truly restrict any parent access to the children, but at the same time it appears that the CPS involvement has scared both of you enough that you both are restricting yourselves?

    Do you understand that the odds of this much "inappropriate touching" is odd in the extreme?

    I suspect that the best interest of your children would be for your and mom to attend a coparenting class or coparenting counseling together.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: What is My Recourse for Multiple False Acusations Being Reported to CPS by My Ex

    I have found that in a bitter divorce and/or custody dispute, there are two nearly inevitable claims that come out against one or both parties: Sexual abuse, and/or drug use. Very often you have both parties pointing the fingers at each other. It sounds like this is a merry-go-round circle jerk of mutual accusations. I agree with Ilworking, that both of you probably need to attend some form of training on how to better co-parent to avoid this rancor between you. All this will do will be to either force the kids to choose sides, or otherwise cause them years of therapy down the road. It is time for the parents to get ahead of this or this will merely be the beginning of legal and emotional headaches (and expensive therapy for all) down the road.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: What is My Recourse for Multiple False Acusations Being Reported to CPS by My Ex

    The thing is I have not made any reports or tried to cause any trouble for her. I only want what is best for our children. Her environment consist of large amounts of alcohol, screaming, fighting and breaking things. I was not aware of the sexual abuse that my son had gone through until the therapist had already reported what my son had told her. Now she is using reports to cps to attempt to keep me from picking up my daughter out of fear that every time I do she will accuse our son of touching our daughter.

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