Getting Emancipated from an Alcoholic Parent

[geek]

What happens when I contact the proper authorities and I have insignificant evidence proving that she in an unfit parent? Not only do I become an idiot- I will be looked at as the selfish child who tried to have his way. Not only that, but when she sees that she is able to get away with it, she will no longer have fear of consequences for her actions. I am not claiming that I know everything. I am stating what I do know.

The burden of proof is not on you. If they receive a complaint with the detailed allegations you list here, then they may very well investigate and uncover issues that must be dealt with. It's not a perfect system but it's what you have to work with. Unless of course, all you really want to do is get out and go live with your girlfriend's family, and leave your little brother to chance.

[free9man]

You won't know what the outcome is until you try. If she is found unfit, you and your brother could be removed for your own protection. If you are scared of your mom, you need protection from her. That's what the authorities are there for. You have 7 months for something to happen, your brother has years. Do you not see how selfish it is that you are trying to get your own ass outta the fire and just leave your brother to take the heat?

[Mercy&Grace]

If there is no evidence, then you're lying. If what you say were the truth, CPS would see the evidence. Just because your monther tells you she is going to throw you out doesn't mean you can just leave. By the way, you are a very long way from being any kind of professsional. Suck it up until you turn 18.

[cbg]

It's up to the authorities to get the evidence. Either you report it and you and your brother maybe get out, or you don't report it and you stay where you are until you're given permission to leave or you turn 18, and so does your brother. Stay there until HE turns 18, I mean.

[Jordan C. Lahage]

What about my father? He's not an alcoholic or substance abuser. He's the complete opposite. The only reason he hasn't filed a divorce is because of his kids, being my older brother, my little brother, and myself. He doesn't want my little brother to go through all of that kind of stuff until he's at least in high school, and honestly I see where he is coming from. If I am to get in contact with CPS, is it possible that they remove my mother rather than remove my little brother and I?

[Mercy&Grace]

No, they will remove the children. You can't force your father to leave or divorce your mother. It is also possible that you & your brothers will end up in foster care in seperate foster homes.

[Dogmatique]

What about my father? He's not an alcoholic or substance abuser. He's the complete opposite. The only reason he hasn't filed a divorce is because of his kids, being my older brother, my little brother, and myself. He doesn't want my little brother to go through all of that kind of stuff until he's at least in high school, and honestly I see where he is coming from. If I am to get in contact with CPS, is it possible that they remove my mother rather than remove my little brother and I?

Where exactly would Mom go?

[cdwjava]

I am currently 17 years old, 5 months and I live in California.

Chances are you will be 18 before this would even get before a judge, so you might be better off just to wait.

My mother is a legitimate alcoholic that is verbally abusive and walking time-bomb. I'm not a professional of any sort, however at several family psychologist meetings they have classified her as possibly bipolar- mixing that with alcohol is seriously dangerous to the people around her.

So YOU say. I seriously doubt HER therapist characterized to you that she was bi-polar, or, "a walking time-bomb." She may be both an alcoholic and bi-polar, but, you don't get to make that determination and if you were to use that characterization in any court filing, it would likely be quickly rebuffed.

My mother drinks on a constant basis; she drinks in the morning through the night. I have a little brother that is currently 8 years old and I constantly worry that he is not safe alone in the house with her or in the car with her.

And you have reported these risks to CPS or the police ... how often? Have you informed your father of the situation? A therapist, teacher, or other counselor?

I have come to the point where it is no longer just a brush off my shoulder. My mother doesn't even tell me she loves me, she calls me a failure, and constantly tells me that she will kick me out of my house. I try to stay away from my house as much as I can and to be honest I have these horrible adrenaline and anxiety feelings from something as simple as a text from her or thinking about her. I have developed a sort of shake over time that gives me panic attacks; when I hear something such as a glass cup touch the table, regardless of who does it, I immediately get these horrible shakes and feelings of being overwhelm. I have night terrors of my mother and I can barely be around someone who even drinks. I also have moments where I feel as though I am reliving everything that my mother has done to me.

Sounds like you need to be in therapy. You mention a "family psychologist." Is this person YOUR psychologist? Or, someone who merely facilitates family counseling?

My father is completely aware of my mom's condition; he has tried to help her several times in the past and it has never lasted more than a month.

Then dad is JUST AS CULPABLE as your mother for any harm that might befall you or your brother, if you are both truly at risk.

At one point in time I was even hospitalized with my mother's drinking being the primary reason and that I was afraid to go home, even though she hasn't physically abused me yet.

YOU were hospitalized??? Was this a mental health evaluation? If so, that may play against any emancipation claim you might want to make.

My father has pretty much given up by now and he just lives with this every day. He will not speak to me about it because he wants to pretend it's not there.

Hence his equal culpability if this is a case of criminal neglect or even physical abuse.

I have been classified with ADHD and depression and I have been taking care of these problems myself.

Who "classified" you with these things? Have you been DIAGNOSED by a psychiatrist with one or both? Or, are these labels that a therapist or a friend have bantered about? And if all you were seeing was a psychologist, then there was not any medication.

With that being said, if I have valid evidence showing that my mother has actually told me to leave the house and live with them, will this evidence be valid in court. My mother has said several times that she will kick me out of the house or she makes statements such as to go live with my girlfriend. If I am to react to this statement, am I technically allowed to leave and can my mother be charged for child abandonment?

If mom allows you to leave and live wherever, then there will be no real need for emancipation as you will be on your own, anyway. And, in 7 months you will be 18.

Wait it out.

And if you truly believe that you or your brother are at risk of actual harm, REPORT THE FACTS, not the hyperbole. As it is right now, you do not qualify for emancipation, and if mom or dad opposes it, the case would likely drag on until after your 18th birthday anyway.

Oh, and your girlfriend ... keep in mind that sexual contact even between minors is a crime in CA. So, if you move in with them and you do anything more than hold hands and kiss, everyone could get in big trouble including her parents.