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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    East Bay, California
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    3

    Default Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    My question involves child support in the State of: California
    Hello to you all. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I will do my best to be as detailed as possible without going off the rails. I had a child with a woman who temporarily resided in the San Francisco Bay Area but originally from Germany. We were a couple and we were living together. The moment she had our child she moved out, filed for child support, and left the country with our child without me knowing. She set me up. Plain and simple. Nothing made sense. Fast forward 3.5 +/- years from now I have not seen my son (beyond Skype and pictures she occasionally send through e-mail). I spoke to a few Hague attorneys and they said it would be a lengthy and very costly fight between the courts of both counties (via Hague Convention).

    The county, in which I reside, sends her cheques bi-weekly. She admitted she does not work, she goes to school full time, and the support is used to care for the 3 of them (Yes! Three. She left pregnant by another guy from Bay Area). Yep, she admitted several times she uses the child support to live off of. She's very careful with what she says by e-mail and instant message because she's worried it can be used against her. She's more comfortable, open, and honest on Skype video/call. She does not cooperate, she refuses to keep in contact, and refuses any type of visitation. This woman has ruined my life. I don't have a relationship with our child. I believe she sees our child as just a pay cheque. I need to get the child support terminated. Is this possible without risking having to pay her more? I just don't know what to do anymore. Someone please help

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: California Family Law: Child Support and the Hague Convention

    You're the child's father - you are expected to support your child no matter where he lives.

    So are you asking how you can terminate your rights in order to have child support stopped?

    If the answer is yes, it's not going to work. And if she hasn't filed for a review lately, you can expect her to do that.

    If you're wanting to stop paying because Mom is spending it elsewhere, that won't work either. Think of it as a swimming pool. She gets $100/week from her... parents, whatever. That goes into the pool. She also gets a $1500 cash payment for her birthday. That also goes into the pool. Now she has to be $200 on school lunches, so $200 comes out of the pool. Then child support is added.

    Do you see what I'm saying?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    Quote Quoting BayAreaGuy
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    The moment she had our child she moved out, filed for child support, and left the country with our child without me knowing.
    So, we're talking about a California support order. Are you telling us that you chose not to ask the court to order the child returned to the U.S. at that time, or did you petition for the child's return with the court finding that the child should remain with his mother in Germany? Did you get a visitation order?
    Quote Quoting BayAreaGuy
    She does not cooperate, she refuses to keep in contact, and refuses any type of visitation.
    Is this because you did not seek a visitation order back when all of this began, such that there is no court-ordered visitation at all, or is she actually violating a visitation order?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    East Bay, California
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    There's nothing for visitation through the courts. Only child support. Now, she also signed an agreement saying she would return to the United States a while ago. Obvious she didn't and she broke that agreement. Would that help? Would I be able to sign over my rights to our child to her and get the child support terminated? This may sound terrible but I am out of options.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    No, you can't sign over your rights unless Mom wants to go ahead with a stepparent adoption.

    Whatever you agreed to is not enforceable unless it's actually a court order.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    East Bay, California
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    I never heard of stepparent adoption. That's not a California law.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
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    98,846

    Default Re: Can You Terminate Support if the Custodial Parent Moves Abroad

    The laws of every state provide for stepparent adoption. The provisions that make it distinct from a standard adoption are incorporated into each state's adoption code. But if mom and the child are domiciled in Germany with no plan to return to the U.S., mom won't be proceeding with a stepparent adoption under the laws of any U.S. state.

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