Behavior Problems With My Seventeen-Year-Old Daughter

[Mercy&Grace]

" now is the perfect time to parent the way I have stated, it will build an adult relationship with trust and understanding." tonynewman Reply # 27

Dogmatique, they have just begun to parent this way. They haven't learned anything from it.

[Dogmatique]

" now is the perfect time to parent the way I have stated, it will build an adult relationship with trust and understanding." tonynewman Reply # 27

Dogmatique, they have just begun to parent this way. They haven't learned anything from it.

That was my point. You can't start parenting your child properly 6 months before they turn 18. Are you misreading?

[Mercy&Grace]

Dogmatique, not misreading. I'm agreeing.

[Dogmatique]

Sigh.

I apologize, Mercy. I could blame it on new meds, but the reality is that I was just confused.

(And admittedly completely appalled at tony's responses here)

[tonynewman]

you keep repeatedly saying my way of parenting is wrong,, and you are also now "appalled" at the very thought of my parenting advice and your way is the correct and only way to parent a teenage girl is the vibe you are tossing out.

lets examine that for a moment, how you are acting here, you don't want to have any discussion nor understanding about anything I have said, no part of anything I have talked about is correct, because it is not inline with your beliefs of how to properly guide a child. its your way or the highway and you want to hear no part of anything I have to say, and it would even surprise you that I may in fact have a daughter.

do you think your over bearing control has spilled into your normal day to day interactions with others and you cant see others opinions and advice as just that, instead of seeing that everything I have said is just wrong period.

you are showing a lack of understanding and reasoning in this parenting area, example, instead of being completely appalled at what I wrote you could have explained to me what I said that upset you and what you don't agree with in this matter. not that im just wrong, and your appalled.

if you would have done that, I might have took what you said and thought about it,, offered a more detailed explanation or maybe even see things in your own light, but you never learned those skills probably due to how you were raised as I child, not saying that is the case, but there have been studies on how generations of parenting gets handed down, an example would be that people that got spanked (or when I grew up got the belt) tend to strike their own children as well, but same goes with lack of understanding on a personal level and that "do as I say or else" attitude will get handed down over generations as well.

many new (now proven) ideas of parenting have came to light in the last couple of decades such as the method I have described in my posts, there are many ways to raise children and they will grow up normal there is no set way to parent, you need to be able to change ideas, try new things when something does not work out, to have understanding with a child explain to them, not just the do as I say or this is going to happen, or the im right and your wrong thing all the time.

but im sure you will say once again im wrong, im not going to further this anymore, but I hope you can learn something from the things I have taken the time to explain.

[Dogmatique]

you keep repeatedly saying my way of parenting is wrong,, and you are also now "appalled" at the very thought of my parenting advice and your way is the correct and only way to parent a teenage girl is the vibe you are tossing out.

lets examine that for a moment, how you are acting here, you don't want to have any discussion nor understanding about anything I have said, no part of anything I have talked about is correct, because it is not inline with your beliefs of how to properly guide a child. its your way or the highway and you want to hear no part of anything I have to say, and it would even surprise you that I may in fact have a daughter.

do you think your over bearing control has spilled into your normal day to day interactions with others and you cant see others opinions and advice as just that, instead of seeing that everything I have said is just wrong period.

you are showing a lack of understanding and reasoning in this parenting area, example, instead of being completely appalled at what I wrote you could have explained to me what I said that upset you and what you don't agree with in this matter. not that im just wrong, and your appalled.

if you would have done that, I might have took what you said and thought about it,, offered a more detailed explanation or maybe even see things in your own light, but you never learned those skills probably due to how you were raised as I child, not saying that is the case, but there have been studies on how generations of parenting gets handed down, an example would be that people that got spanked (or when I grew up got the belt) tend to strike their own children as well, but same goes with lack of understanding on a personal level and that "do as I say or else" attitude will get handed down over generations as well.

many new (now proven) ideas of parenting have came to light in the last couple of decades such as the method I have described in my posts, there are many ways to raise children and they will grow up normal there is no set way to parent, you need to be able to change ideas, try new things when something does not work out, to have understanding with a child explain to them, not just the do as I say or this is going to happen, or the im right and your wrong thing all the time.

but im sure you will say once again im wrong, im not going to further this anymore, but I hope you can learn something from the things I have taken the time to explain.

Hon, haven't you noticed that the only person agreeing with you is.... you?

Fair thee well.

And next time? Do it in PM.

[cbg]

Tony, most of the rest of us are parents, and have some experience with this. Do you?

[Mercy&Grace]

My 6 grown children range in age from 29-41. I have experience. I've seen what the "be your childs friend, not the parent" approach has cost families in my work and with friends.

Aside from which approach is best, the OP's daughter is 17 and changing approaches now will do no good and only confuse the 17 yr old more. Being consistent is of vital importance.

Dogmatique, no need to apologize Sweetie. We all get confused sometimes.

[Dogmatique]

Don't mind him. Virtually everyone else shares the same point of view as I; it's just that I'm wearing a "Target" t-shirt.

[aardvarc]

::::::quickly moves the laser dot off Doggie's forehead and pretends to just be playing with the cat::::