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  1. #1

    Default Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    Mother left son with me 5 years ago. Her visitation was sporatic and random. If I guess percentages 95% me 5% her. On paper we had joint legal and physical and its stayed that way. This last summer she convinces my son (13) to move with her and her new boyfriend 25 miles away and she enrolls him in school there. I expected him to be back within a few weeks and tried to stay calm because this has happened once before and she returned him within a couple weeks.

    Since he's been there it would appear she's alienating me he wont talk to me etc. She only makes him available a couple times a month.

    I've filed for a custody order and we went to mediation. Mediator stated judges probably wont remove mid school year and pressured us to agreed a visitation schedule and plan to she her again this summer.

    She's since retained an atty and is putting up a fight.

    I use medical marijuana... How much will that weight into judges decision?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Will I Get My Son Back

    I agree with the mediator - it's very, very unlikely that the court will switch custody back to you at this point.

    What's your eventual goal?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Will I Get My Son Back

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    I agree with the mediator - it's very, very unlikely that the court will switch custody back to you at this point.

    What's your eventual goal?
    We've been living in the same city for 5 years, same school district, same friends etc . He starts high school soon and I want him to have a permanent place. His mother hasn't had a permanent place for the last 5 years.

    Plus she hates me, hasn't paid me a dime in 5 years and is convincing him to hate me too. I just want I guess an order to return to the status quo.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Will I Get My Son Back

    Quote Quoting caliodar
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    We've been living in the same city for 5 years, same school district, same friends etc . He starts high school soon and I want him to have a permanent place. His mother hasn't had a permanent place for the last 5 years.

    Plus she hates me, hasn't paid me a dime in 5 years and is convincing him to hate me too. I just want I guess an order to return to the status quo.
    The problem is that now, the status quo is that he lives with mom. Therefore living with you is no longer status quo. That is why its unlikely that he will be returned to your primary custody.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Will I Get My Son Back

    How long does it take a establish a status quo? And they'll disregard my 5 years only after a few months?

    Wow that is horrible.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
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    604

    Default Re: Will I Get My Son Back

    Quote Quoting caliodar
    View Post
    How long does it take a establish a status quo? And they'll disregard my 5 years only after a few months?

    Wow that is horrible.
    The "how long has it been" question is extremely important. Since the beginning of the school year? That's 6 or 7 months. You should have done something before now.

    And I'm confused why you didn't go get him in the first place?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

    Update!

    My court date came but we continued it again.

    Since then my 13 year old was arrested for a fight at school and his mother didn't tell me till 8 days later, he kept it from me as well.

    Would now be a good time for an ex parte?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

    It would have been nice of Mom to let you know, but it's not a reason to file an ex parte (emergency) hearing.

    She's going to say that 13 year olds fight, it's just one of those things. She's right, for the most part.

    Now if he's fighting every week and his grades are suffering, that's another thing entirely.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

    Went to court yesterday. Lawyers bickered for a few mins and judge ordered child to be interviewed by mediators...

    I am wondering how thorough that will be. If they just ask him simply where do want to live then he'll probably say with mother. If they ask him why then I believe it'll be obvious that he's parroting the mothers ideas...

    I dunno... they also set a trial date and her atty asked for a 730. The 730 I believe will be favorable to my position but I can't really afford anything else...

    Any thoughts?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    California
    Posts
    260

    Default Re: Custody Rights After Allowing the Other Parent to Move With the Child

    You say that your child lived with your for 5 years and suddenly jumped shark to another school. I would say it is fair to generalize that kids are more loyal to their friends than their parents at that age, is there a reason why your child is so against going back to you? I know you said mom is planting thoughts in his head, but perhaps there was something going on at home when he was with you that you might not have been aware of and that is why he is wanting to stay with mom? Perhaps that is something that might come out when the mediator interviews your child.

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