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  1. #1

    Default Re: Coming Up with a Workable Visitation Plan

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    OP, that's not what I asked.

    I asked exactly how it was worded - because there's a chance that Mom is actually doing nothing wrong here.
    The orders of 4/25/06 state: "Joint Legal Custody, Primary Physical Custody with Mother. Visitation for Father - Alternate Weekends from Friday 5 p.m. to Sunday 7 p.m., Weekdays - Wednesdays from 4:30 to 9 p.m. Holiday Schedule - Split day Thanksgiving & Easter, Christmas Eve to Father, Christmas Day to Mother. Father's Day with Father, Mother's Day with Mother, 4th of July & Halloween - alternate years. OTHER: The parties contemplate that the agreement herein as set forth between them is an agreement for the next 12 months only. The parties acknowledge that they will work together to increase the visitation time between Father and the minor child. The parties agree that to change the visitation schedule either party does not need to show a change of circumstance."

    They have already deviated from this schedule due to her moving away. He lost Wednesday evenings & obviously nobody can split a Holiday when it'll take 3 hours there & back so they have been alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Also, he is now in school so we don't keep him until 7 p.m. on Sundays and we are lucky if we can keep him until 5 p.m. because "she misses him" and wants to pick him up as early as possible, sometimes even 3 p.m. Like I said, we are not doing this because she is doing anything "wrong" specifically but the orders are outdated and while it says they are to work together to increase visitation time, she will not work together. It's her way or no way when it comes to anything, so we need something more specific. My husband has only ever missed a weekend due to required overtime, and if he even has to work one day on the weekend she will not allow his son to come, even if he were in his grandparents' care. The only option we'd have is to lie to her and say he's not working but we won't do that because we won't put his son in that position. Isn't it reasonable to have some vacation time with him every year now that he's not an infant? His school is on a modified traditional schedule so they get 2 weeks for Fall Break, 2 weeks for Christmas Break, 2 weeks for Spring Break, and 7 weeks for Summer. Her reasoning for not granting time currently over breaks is because we work (she worked FT too up until a year ago), and she will not let him stay with his grandparents during the day (says it's too boring for him, yeah I guess living out in the country with nothing to do but dig dirt, build forts, climb trees, go fishing, and ride bikes is boring to some people). She said that if we prove to her that we will be home that he can come. But even if we could prove it, I don't think it would be good to give in & accept her terms because that's not going to solve the problem long term. She can have him stay with her mom or her husband's family, or her aunt, but we can't do the same?? My husband has joint legal custody, he has a good moral character and deserves to spend as much time with his son as is reasonable. At this point, we are really just trying to find out what is a reasonable request and what is not so that we can write it up well and be prepared in court. Thank you for your feedback.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Coming Up with a Workable Visitation Plan

    Here's what I think:

    Dad needs to propose a new plan, and he needs to make it as specific as he can without having to account for every minute. Some things to consider:

    - Mom wanting to pick up the child early? No - but he does want to make it clear who is doing what in terms of pick-up and drop-off.
    - If he feels it necessary (and I would), he can make it crystal clear that the parent can designate any adult third-party to pick-up and drop-off.
    - Given Mom's ... "habit"... he needs to be proactive and make sure he's getting regular updates from school, and feedback from the child's pediatrician.

    Is it 3 hours each way, or 3 hours total?

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