They are the standard generic NCP visitation - he gets every other weekend plus one overnight during the week, alternate holidays, etc. Mind you SS was just a baby when they were written & is 11 now so circumstances have changed a lot. She has since moved 1 1/2 hours away which makes it hard enough to stay involved. She also has remarried and doesn't think he needs his dad. She refuses to include his dad in all the ways she should. No school photos, no report cards (only when he's in trouble because then we have to enforce HER rules when he's with us), no input on extracurricular activities, no schedules, nothing unless she needs to use it to say why he can't come here. My husband does more with his son in the little time that he has than his stepdad ever has. He has been to more of his son's baseball games than either his mom or stepdad has even though we're 1 1/2 hours away & they can walk to the ballpark. We go to his games even when he's not with us, 3 hours in the car to watch him play & then say goodbye after the game. So it's not like we aren't adding something positive to his life. But she is fighting it because she thinks it is confusing for him (her words). She believes it's too confusing for him because he has a stepdad she has him call "dad" and tells him to call his real dad by his first name - which he always calls his dad "dad" thoughWe are not going to go away, we both love him and want him to feel like a part of our family, not just someone who comes to visit from time to time. We are tired of it being an argument every time we want to see him, especially holidays. She makes her plans and then we have to work around them. We are using all the old child-rearing tricks used for preschoolers and teens - giving options, but it's still a battle. We can't even make plans for family vacations because she will change things. We have had to cut our vacations short on more than one occasion, and even had to change plans entirely to fit her schedule. Plus, she has taken him on vacation on weekends he was supposed to be with us and not given us an alternate time (twice last year). She is a stay-at-home parent so she gets PLENTY of time with him. We just want to spend time with him too. We need something more clearly defining things because right now we really have no recourse as everything as written is very vague or doesn't apply any longer.
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His job is in construction and sometimes there are deadlines on a project when he cannot refuse to work on the weekend in order to complete the project. He would have to turn down all projects that require any weekend days, which would basically leave him unemployed. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen a few weekends in a year. She will not let him come visit if my husband is working at all, even if he's able to come home in the evenings or for one of the two day. It's all or nothing. Like in my original post where she wants us to give her copies of vacation approvals from work to prove that we will be home on breaks before she'll let us have him. She won't even let him stay with his grandparents who live behind us.

