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  1. #1
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    Feb 2015
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    Jacksonville, Florida, United States
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    Question How to Help a Teenager Who is Being Neglected and Emotionally Abused

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Florida

    A friend of my daughter is 16. Her mother neglects her whenever she isn't emotionally abusing her. She was allowed to spend the past month staying with us, but was required by her mother to go back home. We understand that we cannot legally do anything to get custody, but now she is grounded and not allowed to go anywhere except school. From what I've read, she can't get into any legal trouble from ignoring her mother's rules, but whenever she is depressed (she has cut herself in the past, and nearly committed suicide, her mother refuses to get her help) she comes to our house. We make sure she is home long before curfew, and we make sure she eats and does her homework, (things her mother doesn't do). Can her mother do anything to us legally for taking care of her, as long as we have her home before curfew? Can she file a restraining order? Our home is the only place the girl feels safe and loved. We want to help her as much as we can. If she can't come here, she has said that she would run away, or kill herself. She is terrified of foster care, and refused to let us take her to a hospital so she could check herself in last time she wanted to hurt herself. We feel like there is nothing more we can do without making matters worse.

    Can her mother legally stop her from seeing us? Also, we looked into non-parental custody, but couldn't find much helpful information. Could she ask the state to be put into our custody to escape the abuse? Does anyone have any advice?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: How to Help a Teenager Who is Being Neglected and Emotionally Abused

    Quote Quoting Jason Dayspring
    View Post
    From what I've read, she can't get into any legal trouble from ignoring her mother's rules....
    What do you mean by that? Of course she can get in trouble for violating her parents' rules. She's still a child.
    Quote Quoting Jason Dayspring
    ...but whenever she is depressed (she has cut herself in the past, and nearly committed suicide, her mother refuses to get her help) she comes to our house.
    And, of course, she can also get in trouble for running away from home.

    So, she comes to your house, claims she's depressed and/or suicidal, and then you... take her to the emergency room for psychiatric services?
    Quote Quoting Jason Dayspring
    We make sure she is home long before curfew....
    She is grounded, so her "curfew" is "come home immediately after school."
    Quote Quoting Jason Dayspring
    She is terrified of foster care, and refused to let us take her to a hospital so she could check herself in last time she wanted to hurt herself.
    If your accusation of neglect is predicated upon mom's having the child sit at home instead of seeking mental health care, then you're engaged in the very same acts of neglect.

    If she's being abused or neglected in a manner that endangers her, your remedy is to inform protective services about the problem.
    Quote Quoting Florida Statutes, Sec. 984.085. Sheltering unmarried minors; aiding unmarried minor runaways; violations.
    (1)

    (a) A person who is not an authorized agent of the Department of Juvenile Justice or the Department of Children and Family Services may not knowingly shelter an unmarried minor for more than 24 hours without the consent of the minor’s parent or guardian or without notifying a law enforcement officer of the minor’s name and the fact that the minor is being provided shelter.

    (b) A person may not knowingly provide aid to an unmarried minor who has run away from home without first contacting the minor’s parent or guardian or notifying a law enforcement officer. The aid prohibited under this paragraph includes assisting the minor in obtaining shelter, such as hotel lodgings.

    (2) A person who violates this section commits a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.
    Are you notifying the child's mother when the girl shows up at your home?

  3. #3

    Default Re: How to Help a Teenager Who is Being Neglected and Emotionally Abused

    In addition...yes they can seek a restraining order against you...yes, they can ask that criminal charges be brought against you for harboring a runaway and/or interference with mom's legal custody. Despite best intentions, you simply cannot just step in against the wishes of a minor and do what YOU think should be done. If this child is playing the suicide card like this regularly, you're not doing her any favors by NOT immediately getting authorities involved. Yes, even if that's against what she, a CHILD, wants. If you'd like to become a foster parent, there are steps to take to become one, but generally in FL, no, a judge isn't going to give you legal authority over someone else's child, not related to you. Doing so tends to be seen by the courts as teenagers "shopping" for living arrangements and they don't get involved unless there is a FOUNDED abuse/neglect case by DCF...OR...the court can step in and order mental health intervention if it feels such involvement is warranted.

    If she can't come here, she has said that she would run away, or kill herself.
    That is exactly WHY a court isn't going to give you custody. Courts don't operate like that. Judges don't make custody orders to make suicidal teenagers calm down. Instead, the courts order a neutral, qualified, professional or group of professionals to provide mental health evaluation and a treatment plan. No matter how you slice this problem, any time the phrase "or I'll kill myself" is uttered, there is one and ONLY one course of action that a court is going to take, and it isn't to give the teen what they want. (Where does it stop? I want a puppy or I'll kill myself? A new dress? More allowance? A boyfriend to stay over? See the problem here?)

    She is terrified of foster care, and refused to let us take her to a hospital so she could check herself in last time she wanted to hurt herself.
    If you care SO much, what the hell were you thinking....she REFUSED to let you take her to a hospital? Refused? Really? SHE isn't the adult here. YOU aren't ready to step up and do what needs to be done. So if you want to do something to HELP this child, then you need to be getting her into the hands of child protective services OR the hands of a qualified professional who has the legal authority to intervene and who will have their own protocol for reporting abuse. This isn't a do it yourself project. There's a life at stake here. If intervention is needed then GET her the intervention she needs, from those qualified to do so.

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