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  1. #1
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    Jan 2015
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    Default Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    My question involves police conduct in the State of: Florida

    Background info to give you all an idea of what's happening: My boyfriend has a son that is two years old. His son's mother (boyfriend's ex) is mentally unstable, but is able to hide it well from everyone and instead is able to passive aggressively take it out on my boyfriend, using the child as a vehicle. She has obsessive tendencies with boyfriend and has saved photos of me and him for the past year and uses them to teach her son things about us, especially me. And yes, this is true- she has sent us video evidence of her manipulative actions. We have his two-year-old in our care every other week- a timesharing schedule that she despises. They will go to court in a month to hammer out the rest of the details of the parenting plan. Until then, they have a partial parenting agreement that was signed off by the courts after their mediation session two months ago.

    The problem: My boyfriend's ex has called for wellness checks on her son while he was in our care FOUR times in the last 60 days. The last two have occurred in the last three days. After the second wellness check, my boyfriend had called the police department to obtain the police report and the officer on the line stated that it was very evident that the mother was doing this out of malicious intent and said that they would "flag" our house in their system. Meaning, if she called for another wellness check at our address, the officer provided with the request would use his/her best discretion and could make the decision on whether or not it was warranted and, if they felt so, to not conduct it.

    That was two times ago, and they are still coming. In Florida, is there a limit on how many wellness checks one can request? Will she eventually begin to be fined for making unnecessary, unjustified calls to the sherriff's department? I understand she has a right to do this if she has legitimate reason to believe that her child is in danger, but she has none. She and my boyfriend do not speak because she is unable to handle civil interactions and becomes belligerent. Nevertheless, he shows up every week at the exchange point on time and returns his son to her clean, well-slept, and in good health. He is a student and I work full time and am working on my graduate degree. We live in a great neighborhood in a house where his son has his own room. There is no reason for her to believe he is in danger; if anything, judging by her current living conditions, neighborhood, and unstable financial situation, he is ten times safer here than her home.

    I am looking for advice because it is beginning to affect the child. Now when the doorbell rings, he is beginning to ask, "Policeman? Policeman here?" and it is heartbreaking. This is an unhealthy environment she is exposing him to because of her selfishness and hatred for me, my boyfriend, and the fact that we have a relationship that her son sees and is happy with. Please help me, the sherriff's department here does not seem to care.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    1,991

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    seeing a policeman should not have a negative impact on the child, however her conduct should certainly be addressed next time they go to court.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    California
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    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    Quote Quoting dkelly10
    View Post
    His son's mother (boyfriend's ex) is mentally unstable,
    This sort of accusation is about as common as the sun coming up at dawn in contentious divorce and/or custody cases. Unless she has been clinically diagnosed as having any sort of disorder, such a proclamation might be premature. Her actions may be immature and even retaliatory, but that doesn't make her "mentally unstable."

    The problem: My boyfriend's ex has called for wellness checks on her son while he was in our care FOUR times in the last 60 days. The last two have occurred in the last three days. After the second wellness check, my boyfriend had called the police department to obtain the police report and the officer on the line stated that it was very evident that the mother was doing this out of malicious intent and said that they would "flag" our house in their system. Meaning, if she called for another wellness check at our address, the officer provided with the request would use his/her best discretion and could make the decision on whether or not it was warranted and, if they felt so, to not conduct it.
    It is a sad fact that the police can be used as a tool of harassment by a parent in a custody dispute. It is also a sad fact that the agency receiving such a call for a welfare check cannot simply make an assumption about the call and not address it if it is their policy to respond to every such call. My agency used to request that the caller articulate why they believe the child(ren) were at risk of harm, but that has since reverted back to a situation where we have to respond to each and every call. I suspect this is the policy and practice of most agencies. But, your boyfriend should be able to get a copy of these calls and their dispositions and bring this to the attention of the Family Court to see if she can be told to knock it off, or, sanctioned in some way.

    In Florida, is there a limit on how many wellness checks one can request?
    No. A person can call for law enforcement assistance as often s they feel is necessary.

    Will she eventually begin to be fined for making unnecessary, unjustified calls to the sherriff's department?
    Only if they investigate and prove that she is making knowingly false reports to the police. No one can say whether that will happen or njt. Prosecutors and courts are reluctant to discourage people from calling law enforcement, so I don't know that this will happen.

    I am looking for advice because it is beginning to affect the child. Now when the doorbell rings, he is beginning to ask, "Policeman? Policeman here?" and it is heartbreaking. This is an unhealthy environment she is exposing him to because of her selfishness and hatred for me, my boyfriend, and the fact that we have a relationship that her son sees and is happy with. Please help me, the sherriff's department here does not seem to care.
    First, I doubt that the presence of an officer at the front door is detrimental to the child. Second, the Sheriff's Department really has few options here. Your boyfriend can bring this up to the Family Court and present any and all copies of the calls as evidence of her ongoing harassment. Hopefully she will not have some form of semi-valid excuse for her calls.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    3,212

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    The concern is always the "what if." What if this time there is a problem and they don't go out. I don't see them stopping. Teach the child that the police are their friends and Always treat them with respect. If nothing is going on that shouldn't be, there is nothing to fear. The child saying policeman here when the doorbell rings doesn't mean anything bad. You might even offer them a cup of coffee, even though they will decline. The impression this leaves with the child depends on you and his father. Turn what the mother intends to be a negative experience into a positive one. You never know what someone has in their future, being comfortable with the police could be of great help to this child in the future in other situations.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    Quote Quoting dkelly10
    View Post
    My question involves police conduct in the State of: Florida

    Background info to give you all an idea of what's happening: My boyfriend has a son that is two years old. His son's mother (boyfriend's ex) is mentally unstable, but is able to hide it well from everyone and instead is able to passive aggressively take it out on my boyfriend, using the child as a vehicle. She has obsessive tendencies with boyfriend and has saved photos of me and him for the past year and uses them to teach her son things about us, especially me. And yes, this is true- she has sent us video evidence of her manipulative actions. We have his two-year-old in our care every other week- a timesharing schedule that she despises. They will go to court in a month to hammer out the rest of the details of the parenting plan. Until then, they have a partial parenting agreement that was signed off by the courts after their mediation session two months ago.

    The problem: My boyfriend's ex has called for wellness checks on her son while he was in our care FOUR times in the last 60 days. The last two have occurred in the last three days. After the second wellness check, my boyfriend had called the police department to obtain the police report and the officer on the line stated that it was very evident that the mother was doing this out of malicious intent and said that they would "flag" our house in their system. Meaning, if she called for another wellness check at our address, the officer provided with the request would use his/her best discretion and could make the decision on whether or not it was warranted and, if they felt so, to not conduct it.

    That was two times ago, and they are still coming. In Florida, is there a limit on how many wellness checks one can request? Will she eventually begin to be fined for making unnecessary, unjustified calls to the sherriff's department? I understand she has a right to do this if she has legitimate reason to believe that her child is in danger, but she has none. She and my boyfriend do not speak because she is unable to handle civil interactions and becomes belligerent. Nevertheless, he shows up every week at the exchange point on time and returns his son to her clean, well-slept, and in good health. He is a student and I work full time and am working on my graduate degree. We live in a great neighborhood in a house where his son has his own room. There is no reason for her to believe he is in danger; if anything, judging by her current living conditions, neighborhood, and unstable financial situation, he is ten times safer here than her home.

    I am looking for advice because it is beginning to affect the child. Now when the doorbell rings, he is beginning to ask, "Policeman? Policeman here?" and it is heartbreaking. This is an unhealthy environment she is exposing him to because of her selfishness and hatred for me, my boyfriend, and the fact that we have a relationship that her son sees and is happy with. Please help me, the sherriff's department here does not seem to care.
    While it does appear that mom could be being malicious, the fact that your boyfriend refuses to speak with her could be part of the problem. If she cannot communicate with either her child or her child's father during the father's parenting time, then that could be creating an anxious parent who resorts to wellness checks because that is the only option.

    I am not saying that she is right to do so. I am simply pointing out a potential reason why its happening. Moms resort to that but dads resort to that as well...and almost always, its due to severe lack of communication between parents. These two parents are going to have to co-parent this child for basically the rest of his life. If they cannot learn to communicate with each other it could be a miserable childhood for the child.

    My family Wizard, and other online sites are a way to bridge that communication gap without the parents having to directly deal with each other. You might want to do some research on those kinds of sites so that you can help you boyfriend ease the tension.

    I will also add that new significant others in the lives of either parent often unwittingly make things worse, either through insecurity or through other issues. You want to make sure that you are not part of the problem but rather part of the solution. The fact that you believe that your home is better is unfortunately a bit of a telling sign that you could be contributing to the problem.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    Quote Quoting dkelly10
    View Post
    My question involves police conduct in the State of: Florida

    Background info to give you all an idea of what's happening: My boyfriend has a son that is two years old. His son's mother (boyfriend's ex) is mentally unstable, but is able to hide it well from everyone and instead is able to passive aggressively take it out on my boyfriend, using the child as a vehicle. She has obsessive tendencies with boyfriend and has saved photos of me and him for the past year and uses them to teach her son things about us, especially me. And yes, this is true- she has sent us video evidence of her manipulative actions. We have his two-year-old in our care every other week- a timesharing schedule that she despises. They will go to court in a month to hammer out the rest of the details of the parenting plan. Until then, they have a partial parenting agreement that was signed off by the courts after their mediation session two months ago.

    The problem: My boyfriend's ex has called for wellness checks on her son while he was in our care FOUR times in the last 60 days. The last two have occurred in the last three days. After the second wellness check, my boyfriend had called the police department to obtain the police report and the officer on the line stated that it was very evident that the mother was doing this out of malicious intent and said that they would "flag" our house in their system. Meaning, if she called for another wellness check at our address, the officer provided with the request would use his/her best discretion and could make the decision on whether or not it was warranted and, if they felt so, to not conduct it.
    I'd be absolutely furious if my child's other parent refused to communicate with me to the point where I have to ask law enforcement to perform a wellness check.

    I'm not sure that you realize what's going on here. Your boyfriend is sending a message to the court that he doesn't want to co-parent with the child's mother. If Mom wants to place the blame on Dad, he may eventually have to make a choice between you and his child. If he chooses you, you better be ready for him to do the same to you.


    That was two times ago, and they are still coming. In Florida, is there a limit on how many wellness checks one can request? Will she eventually begin to be fined for making unnecessary, unjustified calls to the sherriff's department? I understand she has a right to do this if she has legitimate reason to believe that her child is in danger, but she has none. She and my boyfriend do not speak because she is unable to handle civil interactions and becomes belligerent.

    Case in point ^^^

    Nevertheless, he shows up every week at the exchange point on time and returns his son to her clean, well-slept, and in good health. He is a student and I work full time and am working on my graduate degree. We live in a great neighborhood in a house where his son has his own room. There is no reason for her to believe he is in danger; if anything, judging by her current living conditions, neighborhood, and unstable financial situation, he is ten times safer here than her home.
    You know, considering how little Dad and Mom speak, I'm curious as to how you have come to such a judgment. Care to share?


    I am looking for advice because it is beginning to affect the child. Now when the doorbell rings, he is beginning to ask, "Policeman? Policeman here?" and it is heartbreaking. This is an unhealthy environment she is exposing him to because of her selfishness and hatred for me, my boyfriend, and the fact that we have a relationship that her son sees and is happy with. Please help me, the sherriff's department here does not seem to care.
    Dad needs to take a long, stark look at what's going on in his house. The way things are going, he's not going to happy when this goes to court.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
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    3,212

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    How do you know the child is better off at your house ? Have you been to the Mom's house often ? Do you know her personally ? Or is all you know what your boyfriend has told you ?

  8. #8

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    I'll tell you right now that there isn't a law enforcement agency in Florida that is going to decline a a welfare check for a possible endangered child. Even if mom calls every day. Almost 12 years ago now, three Florida law enforcement agencies in 2 months time did just that (and all three declined or put off the check due to repeated "nuisance" requests), and three cases ended up with deceased children. "You will go to EVERY request to check the welfare of a possible endangered child" is on just about page ONE of training materials for law enforcement officers, their dispatchers, and child protective services workers statewide. So dad can expect law enforcement to continue to respond. He's going to need a different approach.

    And I'll reitterate what another poster said: at this child's age, if the child is being "upset" that a sheriff is showing up to make sure they are ok, it's because the ADULTS in the situation are imparting that fear. Dad is a total idiot is he's even THINKING of bringing that up at the hearing. All it will tell the judge is that dad is much more concerned about thwarting mom and making the child afraid than he is about raising a healthy and well adjusted child. A judge will be happy to tell dad that it is super craptacular parenting to play with this in a way that makes the child afraid of law enforcement....better hope the child is never lost, separated, snatched...etc. (Judges love to say that sort of stuff, then they like to ACT on it.)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
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    24,521

    Default Re: Is There a Limit on How Many Wellness Checks One Can Request

    His son's mother (boyfriend's ex) is mentally unstable, but is able to hide it well from everyone

    But YOU are able to see it? Tell me, are you a trained psychologist or psychiatrist? Is your boyfriend? If not, then I would suggest you refrain from making such a statement because if only you and/or bf are able to see this mental instability, I'll bet money that's because she ISN'T mentally unstable.

    In any case, it would be a VERY VERY BAD idea for Dad to raise this in court.

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