My question involves criminal law for the state of: Missouri
First off, I realize this situation sounds ridiculous and if the roles were reversed, I would accuse me, too! I apologize for the lengthy explanation.
I was shopping at the grocery store last night and was stopped on my way out by security. He demanded I "give him the vitamins". I don't use vitamins, so my response was one of confusion. He said I had vitamins in my bag. I opened my bag to show him I had no vitamins, and saw a bottle of tea tree oil I completely forgot I had. When I picked up the bottle, it was small and I was afraid it would fall through the bottom of the cart so I placed it in the front seat part on my bag. Later on in my shopping, I remembered my husband wanted lottery tickets and I thought I had left the cash he gave me in the car. I picked up the bottle in my right hand and opened my bag. While digging through with my left hand (I just toss money and cards in my bag, rarely putting them in my wallet) I put larger items in my right hand to keep them out of the way. I saw the cash in the bottom and while holding the rest of the contents aside with my left hand, I dropped everything in my right hand (gloves, my dog's bark collar, and a bunch of receipts) to grab the cash and my amex so I didn't have to dig for it at the register. I've been so spacey lately from lack of sleep due to major stresses going on at home and having bronchitis on top of it, I just forgot I had it. I finished my shopping and went through the register. Having already pulled my card out earlier, I didn't open my bag again to see it in there. As soon as I saw it I of course knew what happened. I handed it to him and told him I forgot I had it. His "Uh huh, follow me." reply was not surprising since I'm sure lots of people "forget" they have things.
I followed him to the office where they took a copy of my ID, took my personal info (I was so foggy I couldn't even tell him how old I am!), took my photo, and told me they weren't calling the police, but I was no longer welcome at any store properties. I was told to sign two papers, neither of which admitted my guilt he said, and I could go. I know one was a trespass notice and I don't know what the other was. Since he told me neither one said I was admitting guilt, I stupidly signed them without reading them so I could leave. At no time was anything discussed regarding the incident by myself or them. I didn't offer to pay for it because his demeanor left me feeling that was not an option. It was basically a sit down, shut up, sign these and you can go.
My husband wants to speak with the loss prevention director and the store owners to explain the matter. I want to write a letter because I really go out of my way to avoid any conflict, not to mention I can't go to their stores or offices to speak with them. From what I've read online, I'm expecting a demand letter and my husband says I should ignore it since in order to be guilty of shoplifting, I have to have intent to steal the item, and I didn't.
If I pay the demand, I feel I'm admitting to something I didn't do. On the other hand, I wouldn't believe me either so maybe I should treat it as a learning experience as to where I put items in my cart. If I push my claim of innocence, I'm afraid they'll file charges. If I ignore the demand letter, I'm afraid they'll file charges. I have zero experience with this. I've never been in any trouble, except one speeding ticket 17 years ago. What should I do?

