Getting Visitation Rights from a Mom Who is on the Run

[clearpath11]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Hawaii


Hello, thank you for reading this I will be as concise as possible.

I started dating the other of my daughter and 2 months later she was pregnant. We weren't really an item at the time of my daughters birth but, I did express a lot of interest in being there was a father and I offered and, was able to support them both in a modest fashion. My kids mom disappeared with our daughter when she was two months old without so much as a note. I was devastated but, eventually came to terms with it. I had no idea where she lived and had no way to track her down..I emailed, textedn and called regularly over the next four year, no response. Eventually, she responded...we became reacquainted...and, I developed a close relationship with my daughter. They lived a six hour plane ride from me but, I visited every three months---birthdays, holidays, regular phone calls. I also started paying $1300-$1500 voluntary child support about a month after we were reunited. And then, out of the blue, without any warning, my kids mom disappeared again. It turns out she is mentally and emotionally unstable...not so much as to be very dangerous...but, she's waaayyyy out there. At this point she's no longer at her last address, turned off her phone and, closed the bank account that I was depositing money into. Also, her parents are wealthy so my money wasn't keeping them afloat. This time it's a lot harder because I've developed a bond with my daughter and although she's only six now she asked me if she could come stay with me. I'm determined to get court ordered visitation rights. I'm financially secure, own my own house and, I'm willing to dedicate as much time, energy and, money to this as is required. The way I understand it, if I knew where she lived I could have her served with a petition for paternity and, if she didn't respond she would be found in contempt of court and the judge would rule in my favor...at that point I could enlist the sheriff to enforce visitation rights until we came to an agreement in court. Unfortunately, I don't know where she lives and to be clear, I'm not on the birth certificate and in my naivety never insisted that I be. I live in California and her last place of residence was in Hawaii. I know her last place of employment (she's a school teacher) and where her mom and dad live. There's got to be a way to get court enforced visitation or at least step this up legally so she would be inclined to get in touch with me and settle this. I'd appreciate any advise. Thank you

[Disagreeable]

If she is a school teacher, she is not that far out there. My sister IMO is not wrapped tight at all, but she found her calling in a juvenile detention school where she could be nasty back to the kids and she was still deemed a fit mother.

[Dogmatique]

You're misunderstanding an awful lot here.

If Mom doesn't answer the paternity suit, the court CANNOT rule in your favor. End of story. Even if. There will be no sheriff involvement because there will be nothing to enforce (and even if there was an order in place, law enforcement as a rule won't get involved - they'll tell you it's a civil matter).

The bottom line is that you're stuck. Nothing can happen until you find her. Not a thing.

[llworking]

I will also add that establishing paternity at this point would require a court ordered DNA test.

[clearpath11]

C'mon, guys. Would James Bond let his baby momma get away with this? I'm a firm believer in if there's a will there's a way. I've already contracted a private investigator and I'm sure there's a lot more I could do and I'm going to figure out what it is...

Also, I was told my an attorney at a consultation that I had in California that if she doesn't respond to the petition for paternity the court can and will take action to secure my rights...Maybe that's just California law.

[llworking]

C'mon, guys. Would James Bond let his baby momma get away with this? I'm a firm believer in if there's a will there's a way. I've already contracted a private investigator and I'm sure there's a lot more I could do and I'm going to figure out what it is...

Also, I was told my an attorney at a consultation that I had in California that if she doesn't respond to the petition for paternity the court can and will take action to secure my rights...Maybe that's just California law.

Sure the court can take actions to secure your rights, but the court isn't going to do that until a paternity test can be accomplished. Otherwise, you could be some nut job stalker trying to get rights to someone else's child. Stranger things have happened.

[Mr. Knowitall]

I live in California and her last place of residence was in Hawaii. I know her last place of employment (she's a school teacher) and where her mom and dad live.

I suggest seeing how much a local private investigator would charge for a "skip trace" public records search. Most people aren't all that difficult to find. It sounds like you're already taking this step, and perhaps doing a bit more.

If Mom doesn't answer the paternity suit, the court CANNOT rule in your favor. End of story. Even if. There will be no sheriff involvement because there will be nothing to enforce (and even if there was an order in place, law enforcement as a rule won't get involved - they'll tell you it's a civil matter).

Part of the analysis depends on what happened during the child's first two months of life. Assuming this is a Hawaii case (although the provision is not unusual) a presumption of paternity is created if the father "receives the child into his home and openly holds out the child as his natural
child". See Haw. Rev. Stat. Sec. 584-4. If they lived together as a couple raising a child, even if for two months, and the father continued to hold the child out as his natural child after that time, he would appear to meet that statutory requirement. Hawaii has scant case law on the statute.

If a paternity action is filed and the presumed parent (father, mother, or both) appears to be avoiding service, Hawaii law permits the judge to issue an arrest warrant to have that parent brought before the court. See Haw. Rev. Stat. Sec. 584-6(b). Once the parent is brought  before the court they may be required to post a bond. If they subsequently fail to appear, "the trial of, or other proceedings in, the action shall, nevertheless, proceed as though that person were present; and upon the findings of the court it shall make such orders as it deems proper as though that person were in court."

Further, Hawaii does have authority for allowing default judgments of paternity where the mother is given proper notice of the proceedings. See Doe v. Doe, 98 Hawai'i 144, 151, 44 P.3d 1085, 1092 (2002). (The Doe case might have had a different outcome had the mother argued and offered some evidence of non-paternity in her attempt to set aside her default.)

Maybe that's just California law.

How long has she been 'missing'? Depending on the amount of time and her location, the proper venue for the action may be a state we have not yet considered.

[llworking]

I suggest seeing how much a local private investigator would charge for a "skip trace" public records search. Most people aren't all that difficult to find. It sounds like you're already taking this step, and perhaps doing a bit more.

Part of the analysis depends on what happened during the child's first two months of life. Assuming this is a Hawaii case (although the provision is not unusual) a presumption of paternity is created if the father "receives the child into his home and openly holds out the child as his natural
child". See Haw. Rev. Stat. Sec. 584-4. If they lived together as a couple raising a child, even if for two months, and the father continued to hold the child out as his natural child after that time, he would appear to meet that statutory requirement. Hawaii has scant case law on the statute.

If a paternity action is filed and the presumed parent (father, mother, or both) appears to be avoiding service, Hawaii law permits the judge to issue an arrest warrant to have that parent brought before the court. See Haw. Rev. Stat. Sec. 584-6(b). Once the parent is brought* before the court they may be required to post a bond. If they subsequently fail to appear, "the trial of, or other proceedings in, the action shall, nevertheless, proceed as though that person were present; and upon the findings of the court it shall make such orders as it deems proper as though that person were in court."

Further, Hawaii does have authority for allowing default judgments of paternity where the mother is given proper notice of the proceedings. See Doe v. Doe, 98 Hawai'i 144, 151, 44 P.3d 1085, 1092 (2002). (The Doe case might have had a different outcome had the mother argued and offered some evidence of non-paternity in her attempt to set aside her default.)


How long has she been 'missing'? Depending on the amount of time and her location, the proper venue for the action may be a state we have not yet considered.

I am pretty sure that mom and the child have not been in Hawaii for quite some time. He said it was a six hour plane ride to get to where mom lived, and that would certainly indicate that it was not Hawaii. The child is also six now, so its pretty certain that Hawaii does not have jurisdiction. That makes it even more important to find mom, because the state with jurisdiction, and therefore the state where dad will have to file, will be the state where mom and the child are residing.

It also does not sound like they ever lived together either.

[Dogmatique]

Therefore, (1) the court's denial of Mother's motion to set aside the June 23, 1999 default judgment is affirmed, (2) its May 22, 2000 findings of fact, conclusions of law, and order, as they pertain to issues regarding Mother's alternative motion to award custody of Child to her are vacated, except as to those provisions awarding Mother reasonable visitation rights, (3) its June 24, 2000 order denying new trial is vacated, and (4) the case is remanded for further proceedings on Mother's alternative custody motion.

What was the eventual outcome?