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  1. #1
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    Sep 2014
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    Default Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    I'm trying to find out if as a step mother I can give any statement in court when it comes to my husband's custody case. He is agreeing in court to change his custody to having his daughter every other weekend from having temporary custody now while her mother is in jail. He has told the lawyer representing his child that he only wants her every other weekend and shared holidays but wants his daughter to finish out the school year in her current school (parents live in neighboring districts). I don't feel it's in the best interest of my step daughter to prolong a change that my husband is ultimately agreeing too. He is not the one who is ever caring for his daughter anyway, he just has his mother care for her all week. Does my opinion matter? Because he wants her to finish out the school year where she's at does he definitely get what he wants? I feel like he is trying to paint himself as more involved than he is, and his daughter's mother knows his lack of involvement. Am I able to have my opinion heard at all?

  2. #2
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Do Step Parents Have a Say

    As a stepmother you are not a party to his custody case so your opinions aren't likely to be permitted.

    At best, you could testify as a witness but you would have to be called to testify by one of the parties. But then you'd be limited to stating facts and not opinions.

    And I wouldn't expect your husband to call you as a witness if you are going to testify in opposition to what he wants.

    The time and place to voice opinions about what your husband is doing is face to face with him at home. If he won't accept your opinions you'll need to back off and let him handle it.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    So he can basically agree to a modification and then expect it not be put in place for another 8 months? He's saying he wants to go from his temporary full custody to having her every other weekend but have her finish school where's she's at. Since she's been going to school there does he get what he wants by default?

  4. #4
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    Nov 2014
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    I am not sure what your husband is asking for. He has full custody now, but wants every other weekend, but wants daughter to finish up school first.

    Is the school closer to dad or mom?

    Does his request mean he wants to keep the full custody for the next 8 months while she finishes up school, then switch to every other weekend?

    Is that a bad thing to do?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
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    So he can basically agree to a modification and then expect it not be put in place for another 8 months? He's saying he wants to go from his temporary full custody to having her every other weekend but have her finish school where's she's at. Since she's been going to school there does he get what he wants by default?
    He CAN basically agree on anything he wants to agree on and expect anything he wants to expect. Whether he gets what he wants by default is up to the judge.

    Look, he's your husband. If you don't agree with what he's doing, tell him that. If it falls on deaf ears then there's nothing you can do about it.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    This is a stepmom is really the one doing the parenting. She's trying very hard and I have a lot of respect for her.

    http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=179190 (a taster)

    http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/show...=178227&page=2

    Honestly, she's about a thousand times ahead of Dad when it comes to actual parenting and thinking of the child, and I do feel bad for her.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    Won't my husband look kind of silly going in saying he's willing to reduce his parenting time so much but then saying he wants to keep his daughter in his school district? That's nothing but a hassle to everyone involved. He's basically going in and saying he's fine with a change but wants to delay it for months.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2010
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
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    Won't my husband look kind of silly going in saying he's willing to reduce his parenting time so much but then saying he wants to keep his daughter in his school district?
    Sounds like he is trying to do what is in the best interest of the child by not making her switch schools mid-year. Not all kids do well with such changes.

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
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    That's nothing but a hassle to everyone involved.
    So it's a hassle for the adults but if it benefits the child, the judge is likely to be all for it.

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
    View Post
    He's basically going in and saying he's fine with a change but wants to delay it for months.
    And if he goes in saying it is to prevent upheaval in his daughter's life by changing schools mid-year, the court is likely to be in favor of it. They are looking out for the best interest of the child.

  9. #9
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    Sep 2014
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    I understand not switching her school but he's agreeing to less time. So what, he retains full custody and the modification gets put off or he changes to getting her every other weekend immediately and mom has to figure out how to get her to her current school?

  10. #10
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    Oct 2006
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    Default Re: Do Stepparents Have a Say in the Parent's Custody Case

    Quote Quoting Wickedsm85
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    I understand not switching her school but he's agreeing to less time. So what, he retains full custody and the modification gets put off or he changes to getting her every other weekend immediately and mom has to figure out how to get her to her current school?
    It kind of sounds like that is what he wants to do. Maybe you should clarify it with him?

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