New Jersey's statutes define extortion as a crime that involves obtaining property. NJSA Sec. 2C:20-5. A custody settlement is not property.

With criminal charges pending, there is also a question of whether a prosecutor would go along with the dismissal of charges even if your mother indicates that she wants to drop the charges.

Should we infer that the oldest child is the only child you had with your ex-husband, the middle child has a father other than either your ex-husband or present husband, and the third child is your child with your present husband?

If you want some thoughts on the custody issues you should post a question in the custody forums, sharing the relevant background of the custody cases, what's going on with the father of the middle child, the general nature of the charge against you and the facts leading to that charge, whether the children are presently with you or with their father or grandmother, and the like.