Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    14

    Angry Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Nevada. We have NOT gone in front of the judge yet, and there are no orders.

    My son is an infant, 7.5 months old. His dad has not seen him in 4.5 months since 4th of July weekend. And just started reluctantly Skyping with him last week. Dad lives 1,000 miles away. Dad is supposed to be visiting him this weekend for the first time since July. His dad (through our attorneys) agreed to supervised visitation for the first weekend. The visit is supposed to be Sat & Sun from 10a-6p. We proposed this based on a family therapist recommendation, who is someone my atty has hired for this case.

    Question is: yesterday he finally sent over his suggestion for a supervisor. He gave 2 names, one person for each day. One of the people turned out to be a girl who just graduated from high school this year, so 18-19 yrs old?? And she lives at home with her mom. The girl doesn't have a record. However, the mother (who she lives with) has MULTIPLE child endangering, neglect and abuse criminal charges against her, all of which she either plead guilty or was found guilty.

    My atty has always said we can't FORCE him to allow the supervisor to be me (at least, prior to this situation). And dad doesn't WANT me to be the supervisor.

    Should I just be happy that he even agreed to supervised visitation, and allow him to pick someone else?

    Or does this ever come to a point of clear negligence that dad can't take just a few minutes of his time to do a basic check on someone he wants to take his child around? I didn't even have to call anyone to find out this info. It was basic internet common sense skills.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,745

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    I don't understand why your attorney is saying that you cannot insist on being the supervisor, or cannot propose supervisors yourself. I am assuming that this is an unwed situation, am I correct?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    I have to ask.

    Exactly what does a 7.5 month old do during a Skype session?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Correct that we were never married.

    I could propose supervisors myself, but of course those people will be my friends, and those aren't people he'd be okay with being around. I know you're probably thinking at this point that it shouldn't matter to him and he should be willing to do whatever he needs to do to see his son.... and you are absolutely correct. But without giving you the entire history, I can sum it up for you: None of this is happening for my son, this whole case is purely about money (he makes 6 figures a year and has a lot on the line). He filed the petition first, for joint custody. And I'm sure you've seen enough of this to be able to fill in the blanks from there.

    But I just talked to my atty right now and he said if I require the supervisor to be me that dad can claim I denied visitation. I said I don't understand how it would be a DENIAL of visitation. Because I would've ALLOWED visitation, but with a condition. Of course, my atty agrees with me. He just wanted to make me aware of what COULD happen.

    I believe dads basis for why he won't allow me to be the supervisor is because he claims we're in "high conflict". Which is a lie. Of course we've had plenty of spats..... but the legal definition of high conflict (which usually results in parental alienation) is laughable. For the few text messages of proof he'd have of me just going off on him, I have at least double that amount of texts of positive things where I went WAY above and beyond to make seeing his son as easy as possible. And the timeline of text messages that he plans on claiming prove the "high conflict", you can clearly see where things fell apart, which is when he started ditching out on seeing his son. Things were decent for those first few months when my son was born (leading up to when he last came to visit in July), there's even MANY texts from him explicitly stating "we're doing better at coparenting than I thought we would" and others to various effects like that.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,745

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Quote Quoting MHR
    View Post
    Correct that we were never married.

    I could propose supervisors myself, but of course those people will be my friends, and those aren't people he'd be okay with being around. I know you're probably thinking at this point that it shouldn't matter to him and he should be willing to do whatever he needs to do to see his son.... and you are absolutely correct. But without giving you the entire history, I can sum it up for you: None of this is happening for my son, this whole case is purely about money (he makes 6 figures a year and has a lot on the line). He filed the petition first, for joint custody. And I'm sure you've seen enough of this to be able to fill in the blanks from there.

    But I just talked to my atty right now and he said if I require the supervisor to be me that dad can claim I denied visitation. I said I don't understand how it would be a DENIAL of visitation. Because I would've ALLOWED visitation, but with a condition. Of course, my atty agrees with me. He just wanted to make me aware of what COULD happen.

    I believe dads basis for why he won't allow me to be the supervisor is because he claims we're in "high conflict". Which is a lie. Of course we've had plenty of spats..... but the legal definition of high conflict (which usually results in parental alienation) is laughable. For the few text messages of proof he'd have of me just going off on him, I have at least double that amount of texts of positive things where I went WAY above and beyond to make seeing his son as easy as possible. And the timeline of text messages that he plans on claiming prove the "high conflict", you can clearly see where things fell apart, which is when he started ditching out on seeing his son. Things were decent for those first few months when my son was born (leading up to when he last came to visit in July), there's even MANY texts from him explicitly stating "we're doing better at coparenting than I thought we would" and others to various effects like that.
    I think that your attorney is being overly cautious...maybe due to the attorney that dad has hired?

    Generally a supervisor should be someone who the child already knows and is comfortable with...unless supervision is necessary due to fitness factors. The whole point of supervision when fitness factors are not involved is to make the child more comfortable, which allows a better chance for bonding between the child and the parent.

    I am surprised that you attorney isn't addressing those issues.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    If your attorney is advising you that the court might see that as refusing visitation, I'm not sure whether to advise you to take that on board or hire a different attorney.

    You have no orders, you are not and were not married to the father - I'm unsure exactly how this places you in the wrong, legally.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    I have to ask.

    Exactly what does a 7.5 month old do during a Skype session?
    A lot, actually, if the person on Skype is not a stranger. But unfortunately my son has gone so long without seeing his dad that he has no clue who he is and is emotionless to him. I begged for him to start Skyping with him long time ago. Had he not lost contact then mediators and family therapists all suggest that Skype would've been a pretty solid route for my son to not forget his dads face. We're way past the point of my son knowing his dad AS dad. But that's not the problem here. The problem now is that his dads face is no longer familiar, which brings out anxiety in a lot of babies, including my son.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    15,745

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Quote Quoting MHR
    View Post
    A lot, actually, if the person on Skype is not a stranger. But unfortunately my son has gone so long without seeing his dad that he has no clue who he is and is emotionless to him. I begged for him to start Skyping with him long time ago. Had he not lost contact then mediators and family therapists all suggest that Skype would've been a pretty solid route for my son to not forget his dads face. We're way past the point of my son knowing his dad AS dad. But that's not the problem here. The problem now is that his dads face is no longer familiar, which brings out anxiety in a lot of babies, including my son.
    I am back to the whole issue of the purpose of supervision in a case like yours and why your attorney isn't addressing that.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    If your attorney is advising you that the court might see that as refusing visitation, I'm not sure whether to advise you to take that on board or hire a different attorney.

    You have no orders, you are not and were not married to the father - I'm unsure exactly how this places you in the wrong, legally.
    I didn't mention this earlier.... but does it matter that dad *is* listed on the birth certificate?

    Unless if I read the laws wrong, I was under the impression that him being on the BC means he has a "right" to see him.

    But even if that's so, that still comes back to us having to defend me wanting to have supervised visitation (at least for the first weekend) if my ex wants to cry to the judge that I "denied" visitation.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I am back to the whole issue of the purpose of supervision in a case like yours and why your attorney isn't addressing that.
    You do have a good point. Sorry I was a little delayed in responding, I'm talking to other attorneys inbetween checking on here.

    I think it's because the family therapist we intend on using as an expert witness at trial (if we get to a trial, which we probably will... because dads atty has him convinced to NOT settle for anything) and the therapist wrote a letter of recommendation for supervised visitation for the first weekend. And she explicitly wrote the supervisor should not be me, because then my son will naturally be inclined to go towards me when he's upset.

    But *I* do agree with you.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Supervised Visitation Before a Court Order

    Quote Quoting llworking
    View Post
    I don't understand why your attorney is saying that you cannot insist on being the supervisor, or cannot propose supervisors yourself. I am assuming that this is an unwed situation, am I correct?
    At present, it would appear that the only reason there is a discussion of supervision is that dad has voluntarily accepted that as a condition. It also seems quite clear that the understanding is that the supervisor will not be mom. There are many reasons why, after a break-up, mom would not be a wise choice as supervisor -- and her own expert doesn't want her to be the supervisor. Even if mom disputes that this is a high conflict situation, as we've been told, it's dad's documented position that it is.
    Quote Quoting MHR
    View Post
    I could propose supervisors myself, but of course those people will be my friends, and those aren't people he'd be okay with being around.
    If you're going to reject one of his proposed supervisors, I suggest scratching your head and trying to come up with a mutually acceptable alternative.
    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    You have no orders, you are not and were not married to the father - I'm unsure exactly how this places you in the wrong, legally.
    Dad is traveling 1,000 miles for the visit, and has agreed to mom's demand that he designate supervisors. If mom decides to yank the rug from under dad, she's handing his lawyer a lot that he can work with.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Modification of Custody: How to Get a Court to Order Only Supervised Visitation
    By VJA90 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-05-2014, 11:22 AM
  2. When is a Court Likely to Order Zero or Supervised Visitation
    By Gustav in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-11-2011, 05:55 PM
  3. Supervised Visitation Order
    By MaegO86 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-23-2011, 10:58 PM
  4. When Will a Court Order Supervised Visitation
    By hrenee122 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-30-2010, 12:06 PM
  5. Ex Gave Up Court Ordered Supervised Visitation, Now Wants Them Back
    By Searching4answers in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-14-2009, 04:45 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources