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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    2

    Default Changing Joint Custody Due to the Other Parent's Non-Compliance With a Custody Order

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    I really just want the opinion of an outside party that isn't emotionally invested.
    I have had 50/50 legal and physical custody of my now 3.5 year old son, since he was 3 months old.
    His mother has violated the agreement multiple times. Once taking him out of state for 10 days (including over my days) without my consent, multiple times not showing up at the designated time for me to pick him up, trying to yell at me while we exchange the child (which is directly noted in the agreement, not to do), and now she has enrolled the child in a daycare that is 35 miles away from my house, on my days, without my consent. In September, she moved in with her new boyfriend and his sister. Both have DUI's and drug charges. The sister has a drug arrest as recent as the end of September, since my child has been living there with his mother. My child's maternal grandparents came to me, and told me that the mom's boyfriend is abusing my son, and driving him while drunk. I asked her about living with a drug addict, and when she found out that her parents told me, she got a restraining order against her parents. I have a copy of it, so i know that it is real. Son's mother has shown up to my house in the middle of the night recently (midnight-1am) with no notice or reason and dropped my son off. She sends extremely harassing/threatening text messages and calls when she thinks that she doesn't get her way. Anything from telling our son to call me by my first name and saying that his mom said "daddy" is a bad word. She has taught my son to call my wife (of 3 years) is a whore. When I ask why he says that, he said that "mommy told him." She also did not complete the court ordered parenting class from our original custody hearing, which I did.

    I had a lawyer from the beginning and that lawyer refused to take her back to court of the unauthorized vacation or not completing the parenting class. My new lawyer is taking her back to court for enrolling him in this daycare far from my house, specifically on may days against my will, and living with a drug addict. I am asking for full temporary custody until she can find a better living situation, and a job.

    I have been very careful to not speak ill of her on days that I have my son, so he wont hear it. Despite the fact that we don't get along, and I don't agree with her choices, I dont want to damage our son because of our pettiness.

    My question is:
    Am I being unreasonable because I'm emotionally involved?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Changing Joint Custody Due to the Other Parent's Non-Compliance With a Custody Or

    Quote Quoting mrpower
    View Post
    My child's maternal grandparents came to me, and told me that the mom's boyfriend is abusing my son
    Let's start with this. Abusing him HOW? Verbally? Physically? If physical, did they report this abuse to authorities IMMEDIATELY? Or did they just tell you.

    The point being, if someone is going to throw the term "child abuse" out in a courtroom setting, either them as a witness, or you as the person being informed, then the very next words out of their or your mouth need to be: "...and here's the date, time, and case number where I immediately reported the abuse to authorities". Even if you yourself didn't witness the abuse, if you've got someone telling you that your child is being abused, there'd better be SOME record somewhere that a phone call was made. Authorities can follow up with witnesses themselves. But courts pretty much universally approach such things with a thought process that if someone thought abuse was occurring and did NOT notify authorities, their credibility is pretty much all but destroyed from that point forward, and you do NOT want that - especially in a case where the court is being asked to flex it's muscle in regard to where the child is spending their time. You just cannot afford to get this part wrong. So let's clarify the TYPE or NATURE of the "abuse" that the maternal grandparents are telling you. Then we'll discect the rest.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Changing Joint Custody Due to the Other Parent's Non-Compliance With a Custody Or

    They sent me the info in an email and never followed up to elaborate. The did say that the boyfriend drank and drive with the kid in the car but they never elaborated on the "abuse" accusation. The child's mother claimed physical abuse by her father in her restraining order but did not include details. The court accepted the restraining order without specific details on that "abuse." I didn't think I could call the police and accuse abuse when it was told to me by a third party.

    We also had court ordered mediation today. The child's mother did not show up.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Changing Joint Custody Due to the Other Parent's Non-Compliance With a Custody Or

    Forgot the other login?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Changing Joint Custody Due to the Other Parent's Non-Compliance With a Custody Or

    I didn't realize that the computer I was on, had my wife's login saved. I didn't notice til right now.

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