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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4

    Angry Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    My question involves child support in the State of: New York

    Facts:
    2 children, 24 (daughter) and 19 (son)

    Most recent court order 2007 ruled (as agreed by both parents) that son stays with father, daughter goes with mother, no child support changes hands. Daughter turned 21 in 2011.

    Son turned 19 in August.

    Son, following refusal to file basic household rules and after an argument stemming from discussing said rules announces "You can't tell me what to do. I'm over 18. I'm out of here." We tried to stop him, have him take a night to cool off, but he drove off and that was that. Age of majority for custody is 18 in NYS. Age for support is 21 (ridiculous).

    Sometime after, he ended up at his mother's house, having left ours for no due cause other than we didn't agree with a medication he was taking and tried to talk to him about long-term stimulant use *Vyvanse* We had been having marijuana and alcohol issues with him prior to this and had him seeing a therapist.

    NOW, after us paying the full nut for the son for THREE FULL YEARS with no support from the mother (we paid for his car, prom, all dental and medical, literally EVERYTHING, she contributed NOTHING), she has filed for child support and reimbursement of his college expenses (community college). Our arrangement with him was he takes loans for college, as we believe it provides incentive for him to do well (and he wasn't, he was failing Algebra though his mother claims him to be an "A" student in the support papers).

    Is there any way around this? It seems the most UNFAIR situation in the world. The kid gets to tell us to get out of his life, we can't tell him what to do and now we have to pay the ex support after we've paid for everything for said kid? Side note: mother "co-owns" a business with new husband but is claiming she only makes 26K a year. What the heck? Can we go back for the three years she didn't pay us since the child in her possession was over 21? Son had lived with us for over 9 years. His leaving was unjustified.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    I see little in the way of defense according to NY state law. I suggest dad request the court enforce at minimum full time attendance at a brick and mortar school with a minimum GPA to be maintained. On the other hand, if you are not NY residents and avoid service in person or by mail, you have not recognized NY courts as having control of the issue.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    I'm wondering about "Constructive Emancipation", but we see our attorney Thursday. I trust her implicitly and believe if there's something to be done, she'll do it. I was hoping someone had information to soothe my stress until then :-)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    To add to your stress/

    no, you do not get to go back in time and retroactively amend the support order. You agreed to what it was and that's the end of that. Your option was to seek an amendment if you felt it needed to be altered but any amendment is dealing with issues going forward.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    To add to your stress/

    no, you do not get to go back in time and retroactively amend the support order. You agreed to what it was and that's the end of that. Your option was to seek an amendment if you felt it needed to be altered but any amendment is dealing with issues going forward.
    I pretty much already figured that. It's what we get for being good people dealing with an irrational a-hole. It's been like this ten years. Luckily, it stops in 22 months when said kid turns 21.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting jk
    View Post
    To add to your stress/

    no, you do not get to go back in time and retroactively amend the support order. You agreed to what it was and that's the end of that. Your option was to seek an amendment if you felt it needed to be altered but any amendment is dealing with issues going forward.
    At least this cuts both ways. She can only go back to date of this filing as well.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    You do understand that the "agreement" with the son means nothing at all, yes?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    RTR/WDE
    Posts
    1,724

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    You do understand that the "agreement" with the son means nothing at all, yes?
    I'm thinking STEPmom forgot that Mom was paying for Princess while Dad was paying for Junior. So, I think it perfectly fair that Mom file for CS now that Junior has moved in with her.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    So Cal
    Posts
    854

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    Quote Quoting BooRennie
    View Post
    I'm thinking STEPmom forgot that Mom was paying for Princess while Dad was paying for Junior. So, I think it perfectly fair that Mom file for CS now that Junior has moved in with her.
    Meh. I'd be peeved too. Not sure what the schadenfreude is about (I.e., the applause smiley).

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    Perhaps you should step back and allow dad to deal with the choice to A. Have said child and B. Live in NY with their stricter laws and higher cost of living. My step daughter does things to peave me constantly but I allow her mother to ultimately decide what resources will be allocated toward her finishing college as long as we negotiate when it gets to far out of control. Compliance with the law is not near "out of control".

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Child Support for a College Aged Child in New York

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting EA1070a
    View Post
    Meh. I'd be peeved too. Not sure what the schadenfreude is about (I.e., the applause smiley).
    Boo Rennie, No, not at all. We paid for Junior for THREE years while "Mom" paid NOTHING. "Princess" was already over 21 and with a child of her own.Where was FAIR then?

    And yes, Dogmatique, with regards to how we run our household versus hers, I realize that an agreement with a kid doesn't supersede state law, but thanks.

    We will, as always, let our attorney handle it.

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