Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3

    Angry Domestic Violence and Divorce

    My question involves a marriage in the state of: ohio

    I am on ssdi and have two children from a previous relationship. After an incident of domestic violence, I immediately was granted a 3 year cpo and filed for divorce. I do not have an attorney. He has already broken and been found guilty of violating the protection order twice, with each incident over just 6 days. He hasn't been sentenced yet.

    With the top, he got a police escort out of our rented apartment. With the cpo, he designated his son to come get tools and remaining belongings. Unfortunately for him, his son is furious with him and refuses to help him in any way. The belongings remain and I've not touched them.

    As far as the divorce goes, he is concerned about division of property and debts. Other than sheets and kitchen basics, we own nothing outright. We have negative equity in everything, mostly due to his crappy financial decisions, most of which I wasn't aware of. For example he took out a loan for furniture and never paid. Took out a loan for appliances, never paid, and then sold them for cash while I was out shopping for the day. He took out two credit cards, maxed them out, and never paid a dime. We have no joint accounts. We both have our own car loans, both with negative equity, mine just purchased a week before this happened.

    He is under the impression that I should be taking at least half the debt and he should get half the household furniture. I need the furniture for my children and can't afford to replace it. Ohio is a fair and equitable state. We are talking about maybe $12000 in debt not including the cars. He also has a Harley with about $4500 in equity, bought before the marriage but the equity was gained during the marriage.

    I just lost 75% of our family income due to his, um, poor behavior. I can't afford this! If it goes to court, what can I reasonably expect being disabled with 2 kids? It may end up to just go in my favor if he is sentenced before he can argue about the divorce.

    It is further complicated that we have no contact with one another, which is of course what I want, and neither of us has an attorney.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    Your children are not your husbands, correct? No child support then, obviously. Is their father supporting them?

    Ohio generally does not consider wrongdoing when deciding who gets what, though it can be used in certain cases.

    Here's what we're looking at:

    When making a property award, the court shall consider the following: (A) The length of the marriage; (B) The assets and liabilities of the spouses; (C) The desirability of awarding the family home, or the right to reside in the family home for reasonable periods of time, to the spouse with custody of the children of the marriage; (D) The liquidity of the property to be distributed; (E) The economic desirability of retaining intact an asset or an interest in an asset; (F) The tax consequences of the property division upon the respective awards to be made to each spouse; (G) The costs of sale, if it is necessary that an asset be sold to effectuate an equitable distribution of property; (H) Any division or disbursement of property made in a separation agreement that was voluntarily entered into by the spouses; (I) Any other factor that the court expressly finds to be relevant and equitable. (Ohio Code - Sections: 3105.171)
    What is his earning potential? Obviously you're going to have to find somewhere else to live and you're going to have to work with what you have.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    Well, the protection order gives me exclusive use of our residence, and I can afford to live here so that's not an issue.

    The issue is whether I will get stuck with all his bad debt that's in his name only. Ideally, I'd take the debt in my name and he'd take the debt in his. That seems fair and equitable to me.

    I am on ssdi, and my children receive minimal support from their father. My Styx earns 4x my income in a month.

    Again, we have no joint debts or liabilities. Everything is in his name or my name. We've only been married 18 months.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    Ok, you can afford to stay in the apartment. That's excellent, you're not relying on someone else.

    There is no way we can guess how it will eventually be tallied up. Alimony/spousal support is very likely not going to be ordered, and I do think you should try to have a sit down with an attorney. Which county are you in?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    I'm in cuyahoga county. Ugh! I guess I just hope that our relative incomes will be kept in mind, which again may not be an issue as I expect he'll soon be staying at the justice center bed and breakfast here shortly.

    - - - Updated - - -

    He'll be looking at 6 mths, give or take depending on the judges mood. Lakewoods judge didn't seem very amused or sympathetic to him at the arraignment. But realistically he can get anywhere from probation to 365 days. I'm willing to gamble he won't be able to convince anyone to take over the debt in his name, but I'm just as worried about that than worrying about him taking all the furniture in my children's home that I can't replace. I'm just getting by as it is.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    If he gets time, he's not going to be able to pay anything. But here's a few links you can try - I checked, and they do cover your county:

    http://www.ohiolegalservices.org/pro...awyers-program

    https://www.shakerheightscourt.org/f...al-service.pdf

    http://lasclev.org/

    I'm delighted to see a bit of humour there; if you can keep that up you're going to be just fine

  7. #7

    Default Re: Domestic Violence and Divorce

    Quote Quoting Dejvanatta
    View Post
    e have negative equity in everything, mostly due to his crappy financial decisions, most of which I wasn't aware of. For example he took out a loan for furniture and never paid. Took out a loan for appliances, never paid, and then sold them for cash while I was out shopping for the day.
    Here's the problem the court is going to have: the judge is going to want to know: when all this stuff magically appeared in your home, where did you THINK it came from? How did you THINK it was acquired? (Judges tend not to believe the "I didn't know" story, even when it's true...so be prepared to get grilled about that in court). Since it was never paid for, the items could be going BACK to where they came from...or you may be given a choice to pay for items that you wish to keep. The court isn't going to stiff the MERCHANT who is owed a debt for the property because your husband is a crook and you were clueless about your family finances - either you or your husband can expect to pay for the goods received. Generally the court will assign the debt will go to whomever KEEPS the property in question.


    He took out two credit cards, maxed them out, and never paid a dime.
    What the court will do with credit card debt depends on WHAT the debt consists of. If he was taking himself on fishing excursions with his buddies to the Bahamas, he's going to eat that debt. If he used the card to buy things that your HOUSEHOLD used, like groceries, gas, home repairs, and the usual expenses of daily life, then you can expect to get part of that debt if you and your children benefitted from or consumed the items that incurred the debt. How MUCH, percentage wise, a local attorney familiar with your local judges is the best person to make a guess.


    He is under the impression that I should be taking at least half the debt and he should get half the household furniture. I need the furniture for my children and can't afford to replace it.
    PLEASE don't say that in court. Your NEED for furniture won't over-ride the rights of the merchant to be paid for their merchandise. Just like needing money isn't a legal justification for robbing a bank - and that's exactly what the judge is going to hear your saying. If you try this argument in court, be prepared for an earfull from the judge and given your NEED for the court to cooperate with you, you do NOT want to piss off the judge by giving the judge the impression that you expect to get everything and pay for nothing (even if that's NOT what you're doing, your hearing will stressful and happen amazingly fast and any little bad impression you make, espcially when NOT being represented by an attorney, can really hurt your case and how the judge approaches the division of assets and debts).


    Ohio is a fair and equitable state. We are talking about maybe $12000 in debt not including the cars. He also has a Harley with about $4500 in equity, bought before the marriage but the equity was gained during the marriage.
    Generally if he acquired it before the marriage, the court isn't going to touch it in relation to the divorce - BUT, when the court assigns a portion (or all of) the debt to him, the court will expect that he'll do whatever he has to do in order to pay the debt, even if that might mean he has to sell his assets to do so.


    I just lost 75% of our family income due to his, um, poor behavior. I can't afford this!
    How long were you married before the filing for divorce? How long have you been on SSDI? (ie was it before the marriage, or did your disability occur within time frame of the marriage?)

    You may be able to seek spousal support based on his income and resources. It's a sound argument for you that he was very obviously the bread winner, and since he's the one who caused the domestic violence that ended your marriage, that he should continue to keep you in the same standard of living to which you've become accustomed. If the children aren't his, they won't factor in; the court expects that their own father is paying to support them. You can even ask for temporary spousal support to be paid while your divorce is pending (like NOW!). In Ohio there isn't a set formula for determining an amount; although there are factors the court has to take into account, it's largely up to the discretion of the judge. THIS is another of those areas where making a good and honest impression on the judge can be VERY crucial. The amount you might expect to be awarded for perminent support (since your own earning potential is limited for reasons beyond your control) could far outweigh the immediate value of furniture that was never paid for. Sometimes the thing people in divorces need attorneys for isn't so much to help them to attack to get MORE, but to help them not say things or take stances that hurt their OWN case. If you haven't already, you might get in touch with your local domestic violence program and see if they have free or subsidized legal help to help you seek spousal support and protect your income and credit as much as possible. (Especially since bad dings on your credit last for SO long and are SO hard to overcome.)


    If it goes to court, what can I reasonably expect being disabled with 2 kids?
    If the kids aren't his, they won't factor in. When you became disabled, and the length of the marriage, must be known before anyone can guess at what to expect.


    It may end up to just go in my favor if he is sentenced before he can argue about the divorce.
    The court won't just go through the divorce proceedings without giving him a chance to be heard; either he'll be represented by an attorney, or the divorce will be delayed, or both. Even violent offenders still have rights to address the courts concerning their divorce cases.


    It is further complicated that we have no contact with one another, which is of course what I want, and neither of us has an attorney.
    But he's violated the restraining order twice, so it sounds like HE is still wanting or trying to make contact in some form. Until he's IN some form of custody, stay frosty and be aware that persons willing to violate restraining orders, especially MULTIPLE times, are at the HIGHEST risk for violence and homicide against their exs AND their children. Hopefully his sentencing will put him on ice long enough for you to get your financial and emotional feet on the ground for your own sake and the sake of your children. The most important things are that you're safe, and, that you've already done the thing for yourself and your children that so many people can't or won't do - you took the steps of saying "no more" to violence against you. When you talk with your local domstic violence program(s) about possible legal representation (you NEED spousal support, ASAP), be sure to ALSO ask about safety planning for your family. Above ALL else, your personal safety and the safety of your children must remain paramount. You can get connected to your local programs at 800-934-9840.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Divorce: Divorce as a Result of Domestic Violence
    By Seliahao in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11-28-2012, 01:10 PM
  2. Divorce: Divorce and Domestic Violence
    By Rachel S. in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-01-2012, 01:44 AM
  3. Removal (Deportation) and Reentry: Domestic Violence, Divorce, Risk of Deportation
    By pizz in forum Immigration Issues
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-17-2009, 08:32 PM
  4. Divorce: Domestic violence and possible divorce
    By pepin in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-07-2006, 10:58 AM
  5. Divorce: Domestic Violence and divorce
    By surfgrl103 in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-12-2005, 10:07 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources