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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Default Will a Parent's Remarriage Affect The Chance of Getting Custody or Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    The father of my child (it's the only child for both of us) is not in the picture since I was 4-4.5 months pregnant. We dated for almost a year. He wanted to marry and talked me into this pregnancy. After we got pregnant things changed and some of them made me uncomfortable. So I left. He asked me in demanding and threatening ways to move in with him if I wanted him in our child's life. I refused and the next day after this last conversation we had he proposed to his ex gf whom he dated previously for 5 years. I had no clue she was back in his life, or who she was until she contacted me to show her ring and tell me he proposed to her.

    Since then I cut all the communication to avoid termoil during pregnancy, have not heard from him/them, and he also said he wants nothing to do with us. When I was 8.5 months pregnant they got married.

    He has not helped with anything from the first day I got pregnant since he demanded for me either to be with him or be all by myself. When I was 5 months pregnant, i moved 500 mi away from him/them. He showed no interest to be in our child's birth certificate or during delivery either.

    My question is: if he is married now and she has four children who are teens from her previous marriage, and if I apply for child support, how his marriage and not being involved in pregnancy, birth or few months after birth of our child affect his possible custody rights if he changes his mind and decides he has a child?

    Thank you!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Short answer: No. None of that matters.

    You'll file for CS, he'll file for custody/visitation, both will be granted and you'll be dealing with him for a long time.

  3. #3
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    Oct 2014
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    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Thanks for the response.

    I feel like I got myself into so much trouble in my 40s. Lesson learned: never trust anyone again! )":

    I have a few more questions:

    He has married, moved and sold his property since the baby was born. I don't know his current location. But I do know where he works. He works for investments, lives off them and doesn't show income. Yet he has a lot of assets.
    Based on this information, should I apply for CS with a lawer or by myself and then use lawyer if he starts visitation process?

    Will I need a lawyer if custody/visitation process opens? Since all this has been on me alone, financially I alrwady feel that it's hard to survive and I don't know how I can afford a lawyer, a baby, day care and all medical bills if the case lasts for a long time.

    Are there free custody lawyers?

    If he opens custody/visitation case, will I need to travel 500 mi to his court or will it be in my area?

    What are the chances he might win full custody?

    Thanks in advance.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    To file for child support, the state will help you.
    http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Default.aspx

    As far as custody and visitation, Dad will not get 'full' custody (whatever you mean by that). You can read more about that in the link below.
    http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-custody.htm

    Any custody/visitation will be heard in the county the child resides in.

    No free attorneys.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Quote Quoting Happy2
    View Post
    Thanks for the response.

    I feel like I got myself into so much trouble in my 40s. Lesson learned: never trust anyone again! )":

    I have a few more questions:

    He has married, moved and sold his property since the baby was born. I don't know his current location. But I do know where he works. He works for investments, lives off them and doesn't show income. Yet he has a lot of assets.
    Based on this information, should I apply for CS with a lawer or by myself and then use lawyer if he starts visitation process?

    Will I need a lawyer if custody/visitation process opens? Since all this has been on me alone, financially I alrwady feel that it's hard to survive and I don't know how I can afford a lawyer, a baby, day care and all medical bills if the case lasts for a long time.

    Are there free custody lawyers?

    If he opens custody/visitation case, will I need to travel 500 mi to his court or will it be in my area?

    What are the chances he might win full custody?

    Thanks in advance.
    You can file for CS through the state if you choose to do so, and in that case no attorney is needed at all.

    You won't absolutely need an attorney for custody/visitation, the CA courts have lots of resources for people filing pro se.

    Unless there is something about you that we do not know, there is virtually zero chance of him receiving full custody. However, its unlikely that you would get full custody either. What is most likely is that you will end up with joint legal custody (joint decision making) with you having primary residential custody. Parenting time for him would start out in your community, supervised by you, phasing into unsupervised, and eventually he would get parenting time in his own community.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    5

    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Thank you both very much for the detailed answers and resources!

    It's good to hear that I will most likely keep my child for majority of time if I file for child support! And if the baby's dad and the baby have good relationship, I only willsupport that!

    There is nothing about me but Master's Degree in engineering, hard working in education foreigner who feels guilty for putting her child through this, and who feels like being scammed with all this issue.

    But we will get through this somehow. And the sun will shine here too - after the clouds go away

    Thank you very much for the help!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Quick question - you mention one of you being a foreigner. Did either of you sponsor the other?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    16,474

    Default Re: Remarriage and Custody

    Quote Quoting Happy2
    View Post
    Thank you both very much for the detailed answers and resources!

    It's good to hear that I will most likely keep my child for majority of time if I file for child support! And if the baby's dad and the baby have good relationship, I only willsupport that!

    There is nothing about me but Master's Degree in engineering, hard working in education foreigner who feels guilty for putting her child through this, and who feels like being scammed with all this issue.

    But we will get through this somehow. And the sun will shine here too - after the clouds go away

    Thank you very much for the help!!!
    You are welcome. Please do understand that it is very common for a disinterested father to suddenly file for custody when they are hit with child support. Judges do recognize that and take it for what it is worth. Please also understand that there would have to be extremely serious problems in the mother's home, before a judge would take a child out of the primary custody of the mother and put the child in the custody of a previously disinterested father.

    However, you should also understand that even when child support is ordered, if a parent is absolutely determined NOT to pay, it may be extremely difficult to ever collect from that parent. Therefore, plan your budget as if you will never get child support, and let any child support that you do receive be "extra".

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