How Can a Spouse Get Domestic Violence Charges Dropped

[becca5778]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Massachusetts I am writing today to find out what I can do to help my husband get domestic violence charges dropped. about a month ago my husband and I got into an argument about me drinking that day. the argument got a little heated and he grabbed me and when I went to pull away from him I tripped and fell into a ditch. someone called the police. he wasn't arrested but he is being summonds to court to go in front of magistrate on November 26th. I didn't call the police,file charges,file a restraining order, or even make a statement. so can I write a letter to the magistrate judge telling him that he was upset because I had been drinking that day and if I hadn't been drinking then the argument would have taken place. he is a good man and he works very hard every day for our family and I am in no fear of my life and never have been. can I go down and sign a paper stating that I would like for these charges to be dropped

[free9man]

Prosecutors are used to domestic violence victims recanting. They can proceed without you if they wish. You can contact the prosecutor to see what they will do, but don't hold your breath.

[cdwjava]

If the magistrate wants to hear from you, they will ask you. Writing a letter is unlikely to do any good and could be considered an impermissible ex parte communication.

Ultimately, he grabbed you (that's battery - a crime) and you fell. No matter what you said or did, HE made the decision to lay his hands on you.

I strongly suggest you speak with a domestic violence counselor or therapist just so you can come to grips with any issues.

[John_28]

Ultimately, he grabbed you (that's battery - a crime) and you fell. No matter what you said or did, HE made the decision to lay his hands on you.

You cops have done a lot worse than grabbing, to people who have been drinking. So, who are you to criticize this man?

[free9man]

You cops have done a lot worse than grabbing, to people who have been drinking. So, who are you to criticize this man?

Apples to oranges. Plus completely off topic.

[John_28]

Apples to oranges. Plus completely off topic.

Perhaps he grabbed the wife to prevent her from injuring him or herself in her drunken state.

Edited to add: If the OP had called the police and asked them to deal with his wife, the police would have done far worse than grab her, such as tasering her. So, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[free9man]

Perhaps he grabbed the wife to prevent her from injuring him or herself in her drunken state.

If that is true, he is free to raise that as a defense.

Edited to add: If the OP had called the police and asked them to deal with his wife, the police would have done far worse than grab her, such as tasering her. So, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

And you base this on what department's published training manual that covers the area of MA that is being discussed or all of the planet, in the alternative? It is quite possible to deal with a drunk without resorting to physical force. It is done every day.

[Andrea80]

I personally don't think holding someone's hands or arms while arguing is considered domestic violence and I certainly hope that next time, if I hold my child back from kicking his/her sibling and he loses his balance, falls I will not be guilty of child abuse.

You and your husband may want to talk to a criminal defense attorney but I would do absolutely nothing at this point until the court notifies your husband that he has been charged and exactly what offense he is accused of committing. If he is charged with domestic battery you will need to hire an EXPERIENCED defense attorney who handles the case.

If your husband pleads or found guilty of the offense the devastating consequences will follow him (and you as well as your future children) for the rest of his life.

http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-20.htm#consequences

If you do not feel that you are a victim of domestic battery you should act like one, and I would not communicate to anyone else but your husbands criminal defense attorney. Your opinion does not matter, you cannot drop the charges and the system has the power to destroy your marriage both financially and emotionally against your, the alleged victim's will. Your future is in the hands of a few government officials whether you like it or not, they are the ones who will decide if you are allowed to continue your relationship with your husband or not (some may find this offensive).

A few important points in selecting an attorney: http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-20.htm#selecting

[Disagreeable]

The law must convict him. Silence is likely best for him. Testimony by the drunk who was falling down and being assisted by her husband, then fell into a ditch anyway is somewhat exculpatory.

[cdwjava]

You cops have done a lot worse than grabbing, to people who have been drinking. So, who are you to criticize this man?

Who might have done what to others is not pertinent here. What IS is what he did to her that was in violation of state law. Unless, of course, you're a supporter of such abuse.

- - - Updated - - -

Perhaps he grabbed the wife to prevent her from injuring him or herself in her drunken state.

Maybe. And his attorney can raise that at trial. Though, most often such claims fall flat as they are untrue.

Edited to add: If the OP had called the police and asked them to deal with his wife, the police would have done far worse than grab her, such as tasering her. So, damned if you do, damned if you don't.

What on Earth are you rambling on about????